Features

When my son was in kindergarten, we had school conferences that focused on his drawing ability. It was weak. We were concerned. Well, at least we feigned concern, because we didn’t want to be those parents who don’t give a shit when the school is flagging an issue. But really, who cares? It’s not like my fingers were crossed that my son would become a starving artist or anything. And besides, I was relieved that he wasn't biting his classmates. Anything this side of cannibalism was ok with me.
What I liked about his attitude, however, was that although his drawings sucked, he never relented and kept drawing away.  There's something about beating one's head against the wall that I really admire.  When he presented me with his drawings, and I’m using the term loosely, we had many conversations that went like this:

“This is lovely, thank you.”
“Do you like it?”
“I do.”
“Do you know what it is?”
“Oh, honey, who knows what anything is?  Not me! I’m not into labeling things.”
“It’s a circle.”
“Oh.”

"Is it a good circle?”

"Well, yes. It’s a very pointy circle, but that doesn’t make it not good. You like sports, right?”

Recently, however, he had a breakthrough and his drawings improved dramatically. I started to swell with pride (or maybe turkey) imagining many gallery openings that I would be attending, because what mother doesn’t want her son to be a famous artist?

Over Thanksgiving weekend, he created this masterpiece:




It’s a winning Mets guy. Great, right?  Except my mama scrutinized it and said “is he missing a nose or a mouth?” And my son said, “A nose. I don’t draw noses because they make people look stupid. I also don’t do ears.” That’s not weird, right? It’s an artistic choice. And I figure that he could charge extra for those features. Place your orders now, while the getting is good. And if you're anything like me, lack-o-nose is a big plus. And I mean BIG.