I'm a Moody Blogger
I'm not good at the topical holiday posts. I'm a moody blogger and today I'm in the mood to tell you something really important about marriage. This advice is especially useful if you're not yet married. If you made the mistake of getting married before consulting this post, you'll probably want to get an annulment and try again. Of course it'll be hard to get an annulment on Thanksgiving Day, but I don't see how you can possibly blame me for that one.
Ok, here it goes. You know how when you're a kid, and you and your siblings were going somewhere, one of you would call "firsties!" and that created this binding contract that can only be terminated upon death? Well, when you get married, it's really important to call "insanies!" as soon as possible after you're pronounced husband and wife, because if you don't, terrible things will happen.
For example. Last month I had a dream that my husband was looking at some woman (for argument's sake, let's call her a whore) in a way that I didn't like. No, I did not like it one bit. I woke up enraged. I didn't understand how he could betray me like that and the fact that it was a dream and didn't happen in real life was an inconsequential detail. Sort of like saying "but she was a blonde, and you know I prefer redheads, honey" is a ridiculous defense. Like now I'm responsible for your bad taste in dreamland? Don't think so.