Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Friendship

Many of you know about my friend John. We met at work, but I also love him. As a matter of fact, I think that if I were single, and he were heterosexual, and earned more money, and had a better personality, I would marry him. The marriage would really be helped along if he were the last man on earth. And if there were a law making it absolutely mandatory for everyone to marry. And if Proposition 8 were federal law, so I couldn't marry another woman. Or an animal. But only if he asked really nicely because I don't want to seem too eager or anything.

A few weeks ago, John and I had a mini argument, I don't even remember about what and I threatened him with Blog Death.

"I can kill you off on my blog, get lots of posting material out of it and people would probably even send me money for your funeral," I blurted out. What? It was the first thing that came to mind, don't tell me that you haven't thought the same thing.

"Oh, please," he said. "I have my own cult following on your blog." He may have mentioned that I was nothing without him, that he made me and could destroy me and uttered something mildly anti-semitic as well, I don't know. I'm not the type to dwell on the negative.

But it did give me an idea about how I could exploit John.

I decided that I would put up a poll to see who people wanted to ask questions of more--Husbandrinka or John. In no time at all, John was leading by a sizable margin. Insane.

"John is getting more votes that Husbandrinka on my blog," I told Husbandrinka.
"Who is 'Husbandrinka'? Is that me?" Husbandrinka asked. It's almost like he wants me to think that he doesn't give a shit.
So John won.
"Great," John said, when I told him on the phone over the weekend. I detected sarcasm.
"You know, you could be more loving and supportive of my blog," I accused him.
"Listen, if I were any more loving, you'd be pregnant and if I were any more supportive, you wouldn't need a bra."
He just comes up with this stuff. No wonder I transcribe his every word.
So, if you've been saving up questions for John, please let me hear them. I will do my best to get him to answer them, with only the slightest editing from me. A little tweaking here and taking in there, if you will.

Post your questions in comments or email me MarinkaNYC@Gmail.com
And remember, an opportunity like this does not come every day!  You're welcome.

Labels:

25 Comments:

Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

My husband has specifically asked me to stop calling him Owl in my blog. It's like we're married to total opposites.

I'll have to come up with a good question for John...I'll get back to you.

November 25, 2008 at 4:27 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

omg I am laughing my ass off right now. (and you know that's no small feat.) I LOVED the list at the beginning! (ha ha ha) jesus, I love a good laugh in the morning..)

November 25, 2008 at 6:46 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

wait, was I supposed to ask john something? Who's the ugliest celebrity he would sleep with?

November 25, 2008 at 6:47 AM  
Blogger Tracey said...

Ok, well, I have been awake all freaking night worrying about every random thing from life insurance in case my husband dies and leaves me wallowing in debt to how to brew a better cup of coffee.

So. My question, Sir John, is what can YOU, as the blogging celebrity you will become because of Marinka's fabulous blog, do about these problems? Hmm? What? I AM TIRED, John. I need answers!

November 25, 2008 at 7:28 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

John, what are you going to actually DO to fix the economy? I want specifics.

November 25, 2008 at 9:14 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Hmmm... I'm not very familiar with John, but I wonder if there is a woman (besides Marinka, of course) that could convert him to heterosexuality.

November 25, 2008 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

I want to know if John sits around thinking of these one-liners all day. And if he would marry you...

November 25, 2008 at 9:46 AM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

John, did you ever imagine that you would be someones straight man?

November 25, 2008 at 9:53 AM  
Anonymous cog said...

If you kill off a gay blog character, is it a hate crime?

November 25, 2008 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Why do gay men have such great style and straight men don't?

November 25, 2008 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

John: Can you prove, from a quantum mechanical viewpoint, that you are actually a real person and not a figment of Marinka's imagination? Because I'm starting to wonder.

November 25, 2008 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Heinous said...

John, how do you find us as a cult following? More or less Manson-esque?

I keep my Marinka shrines under 3 stories tall if that helps you gauge your response.

November 25, 2008 at 11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What did John think of you when you two first met?

November 25, 2008 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Z said...

Questions. Hmmm... None. I'm intimidated by the ones already posed! Sheesh! What creativity! :)

November 25, 2008 at 1:31 PM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

John, if you could get away with the perfect crime, what would it be?

November 25, 2008 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Maura said...

The only thing I want to ask John is to call me if he moves to SF, because although I cannot out-fabulous the one and only Marinka, I'd have a hell of a good time trying, with him here!

November 25, 2008 at 3:04 PM  
Blogger jon said...

my question for John is which celeb should come out of the closet next?

November 25, 2008 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger Roadchick said...

You know, when I voted for John, I didn't know that meant I had to come up with a question.

Is it too late to retract my vote?

Yes, I'm that lazy.

November 25, 2008 at 3:22 PM  
Blogger heartatpreschool said...

Here's my question for Johnrinka...

Ok. I don't have one. I just wanted to call him Johnrinka.

Maybe my question is, do you have to be related to, or legally bound to Marinka, in order to get the rinka in your name?

November 25, 2008 at 3:40 PM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I have no idea who John is because I just started reading this blog, but I'll ask him a question anyway...

Does he have a blog where I can ask questions about Marinka?

November 25, 2008 at 9:05 PM  
Blogger Frogs in my formula said...

Dear John, Why is Husbandrinka too cool for school??? I love the sexy banter b/t you and your gay man friend. Priceless.

November 25, 2008 at 9:25 PM  
Blogger PsychMamma said...

I'd like to know: if he had an invisibility cloak what would be the first thing he would do?

P.S. Shout out to Kylie who has me thinking about invisibility cloaks. I think she's at Berkley right now trying to acquire one......

November 25, 2008 at 10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

John- the Blogger's council would like to know how many sweaters you own?

November 26, 2008 at 6:18 AM  
Blogger Kirsten / Mama Ginger Tree said...

Dear John,
When can we expect to see the pilot of Preggo and Queer? Who would you pick to play Queer and who would you pick to play Preggo?

-Kirsten

November 26, 2008 at 11:44 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

John,

Do you have any straight friends that will go out with me?

What do you do for a living?

Is Tom Cruise gay?

January 20, 2009 at 7:38 PM  

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