Ok, I know that many of us here are parents, but can I just get something off my chest?
Other people's children? Fucking annoying. Except for yours, of course. I adore your kids.
I have an acquaintance and every time we speak on the phone she lets me "talk" to her howevermanymonthold. I have no clue. Sixteen months? Please reduce it to a number that normal people can understand. Anyway, the kid is under two years old and I have to be honest here--I don't enjoy our telephone conversations. Mostly because I have no idea what the hell she's talking about, and when she'll shut up. Never asks a word about me, it's just some kind of monologue with absolutely no punch lines.
"Put your mommy back on," I say. Nothing. She keeps blathering as though I had not just issued a direct command.
Eventually the mom reaches a commercial break on her soap or something and picks up the phone.
"Isn't she adorable?" she asks.
"O.K." I tell her.
"What were you talking about?" she is dying to know. Seriously, what does she think we were talking about? About how Big was a piece of shit and Carrie had the self esteem of a Jerry Springer guest?
"Oh, she was just babbling."
"Babbling? She speaks in sentences now."
"So,what did she say?"
So, you can't say that you have no clue because if she was talking in sentences, they certainly weren't in English, unless you count Middle English.
"You know, girlie stuff."
Seriously, please spare me.
I mean, I love my kids, but I'm not going to impose them on people. Can you imagine if I started writing blog posts about them?! Oh, hold on a second, they want to tell you something.