Cleaning: It May Be Contagious
The great thing about doing your own cleaning, especially if you are me, is how much mileage you can get out it. It's sort of like household chemo.
Like the other day, Husbandrinka came home with our kids, plus my son's friend and the friend's mother. Well, the mother is also my friend, but that's like totally extraneous to the story and if there's one thing that I hate it's when people go off on some inane tangent and then can't figure out how to get back to their main point so you're sort of reading a lot of nonsense and can't even remember what the original post was about or why you're still reading or your own name, because the writer has deadened every brain cell that you have.
Anyway, they all come back and my friend says, "so what should we do with the boys this afternoon?" and I'm thinking, "anything the hell away from here would be just grand!" but of course I can't say that because Mother's Day is next weekend and what kind of a moron do you think I am, anyway? So, I say, "I don't know, I have to do some more cleaning around here," and sigh dramatically and she starts getting really uncomfortable because what if this fucking pre-poverty is contagious and so she says, "I'll take them to the pool" and I exhale dramatically and say, "are you sure you don't mind, I just have another bathroom to clean and then the kitchen and the laundry," and she's shaking her head, no, she'd love to take them, have a great day, door slam. Scene.
Which is great, because it really clears up the afternoon for blogging.
Like the other day, Husbandrinka came home with our kids, plus my son's friend and the friend's mother. Well, the mother is also my friend, but that's like totally extraneous to the story and if there's one thing that I hate it's when people go off on some inane tangent and then can't figure out how to get back to their main point so you're sort of reading a lot of nonsense and can't even remember what the original post was about or why you're still reading or your own name, because the writer has deadened every brain cell that you have.
Anyway, they all come back and my friend says, "so what should we do with the boys this afternoon?" and I'm thinking, "anything the hell away from here would be just grand!" but of course I can't say that because Mother's Day is next weekend and what kind of a moron do you think I am, anyway? So, I say, "I don't know, I have to do some more cleaning around here," and sigh dramatically and she starts getting really uncomfortable because what if this fucking pre-poverty is contagious and so she says, "I'll take them to the pool" and I exhale dramatically and say, "are you sure you don't mind, I just have another bathroom to clean and then the kitchen and the laundry," and she's shaking her head, no, she'd love to take them, have a great day, door slam. Scene.
Which is great, because it really clears up the afternoon for blogging.
Labels: The Economy
26 Comments:
Excellent work! Really, stellar. I am impressed!
Great job! Except when they come back she is going to think you are a horrible cleaner and feel so bad for your family!!! Or maybe the chlorine smell will make her see double and she will have no clue!
I was thinking just this weekend that the thing I miss most about my old job is not being able to afford my cleaning lady anymore. Now the only time the house is clean is when I do it, and God knows that ain't gonna happen very often.
And leave some tools out so you can claim you also fixed something and we all know how long that can take.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You are a genius.
I hate housecleaning, but I like everything orderly. I have exactly one small spot, the size of my foot, between my bed and the closet, and I balance there to reach my clothes. Do I need to clean? Yes I do.
Work it, work it...
hahaha! Nice work, sounds like you are a closet actress!
I'm sure Marinka knows to dab some chlorine behind her ears and leave a wet mop in a prominent position - any "leftover" dirt can be blamed on the cat.
I know my cat has a stellar reputation for immediately messing up anything I clean.
I just bitch about the laundry endlessly. It gets me nowhere. Maybe if I add the resigned sigh someone will take my kids too.
Great work! I'm still thinking about your blog assignment. I'll send it later.
Excellent call. I would also like to compliment you on the well placed for ironic emphasis run on sentence. Well done!
I hope to be like you when I grow up.
Til she reads this post and you can't reuse the pity factor again!!!
at least those Fly ladies are good for something!!
Ick, I very much dislike unexpected guests.
i am so nominating you for homemaker of the year award.
Great strategy. I'll definitely try this one.
That's my girl!!!!
Ha! This totally made me laugh! =)
Well done!
Brilliant as always!
I mentioned you in my blog today. xo
I don't even like to take my own kids to the pool! Damn, I need to trash this place out more and make some cool friends with kids!
p.s. - I'm all paranoid you were talking about me and my random blog chatter that interupts the whole 'wait, what was I saying?' aspect of my posts....
Dude, you are a freaking evil genius. You should have run for president.
Damn, you are a contagious bitch! I had company coming yesterday who was seeing my addition for the first time and I gasp..had to pick up my underwear from the bathroom floor and wash down the sinks.
Awesome!!! I've gotta try that.
Nice going. Does she like spending time with five year olds and not in my home?
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home