Friday, April 24, 2009

Good night

My son likes for me to sit with him when he goes to bed. He tells me that he loves me and when I kiss his cheek, he doesn't wipe it off the way he does on most mornings when I drop him off at school. I love that time, despite the obvious challenges involved in making sure that he falls asleep before RHONY starts.

On Wednesday night, as he was falling asleep, his face burrowed in the pillow, he said, "I wonder what it's like to be a kid in-" and his voice trailed off. My heart swelled with pride. Because I knew he was wondering what it was like for me to be a kid in Russia. Of course, that made perfect sense. My mother's sister is visiting from Russia and we all just had dinner together that very night! He's interested in my childhood. What a perfect cherry to my sundae of a day--kid about to fall asleep, I'm to be left the hell alone with the computer and as he falls asleep, he asks about my childhood. I've obviously achieved the Olympic gold of parenting and should give seminars and share my wisdom.

So, I got ready to tell him about growing up in Russia, the harsh winters, the friends that I had, he immigration process.

"You know," I broached the subject gently, "I am going to write a book about that." In case he knows people in the industry.

"About what?" he asked sleepily.

"About being a kid in Russia."

"What?" he sounded less sleepy.

"About being a kid in Russia. A book. I'm going to write it."


"You asked me what it was like to be a kid in Russia."

"No, I didn't." He is wide awake now, sitting up in bed.

"You did, honey," I try to smooth his hair, which is a scientific way to get people to remember things that they said just a few minutes ago.

"I said I wonder what's it's like to be a kitten," he says. "You know, like Nicki."

Oh. I'll have to flesh out that part of my book, I guess.

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Blogger Your escalator operator said...

Funny story. That alone should at least get you the Olympic silver.

April 24, 2009 at 12:57 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

I had always thought there was a slight kitten-like perspective coming through on this blog, and now I know why, all that research for your book is slowly bringing out the inner kitten.

Or maybe I'm just imagining it.

April 24, 2009 at 12:59 AM  
Blogger Jennifer H said...

Yes, but now I'm wondering what it's like to be a kitten in Russia. So now you have TWO chapters to write. I hope you're happy.

April 24, 2009 at 1:14 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

I'll get back to you when I've stopped laughing...

April 24, 2009 at 2:57 AM  
Blogger Lawton said...

No one can fuck up our perfect mothering like our kids, I guess. That's what I keep telling my kids anyway. Yeah, in those words. What of it?

April 24, 2009 at 3:11 AM  
Blogger ingrid said...

That is awesome...
Tenderly written...

April 24, 2009 at 5:03 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

That's hysterical.

I'm sure he really wants to know about being a kid in Russia, he just doesn't know it yet.

April 24, 2009 at 6:58 AM  
Blogger daydreamymama said...

These damn kids, always poking holes in our perfectly constructed parenting moments. But you should still give seminars.

April 24, 2009 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger lizspin said...

If you find out that he knows people in the industry, give me a little jingle.

If not, maybe Nikki does.

April 24, 2009 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

Fuck it. Write Nicki's book too.

April 24, 2009 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger TeacherMommy said...

See, now this is why I like you and your blog. Such a nice mixture of tenderness and hilarity.

And I, too, am wondering what it would be like to be a kitten in Russia. Perhaps you could become an international bestseller with a series of books on Nicolas the Bolshie Kitten!

Of course, with your tendencies, they might have to put a Parental Warning label on the books.

April 24, 2009 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 24, 2009 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

Sorry - I messed up that comment...

So Nikki is writing a book about being a kid in Russia? What's your book about again? ;c)~

April 24, 2009 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

How exactly do human kids have it different from kittens? We have to feed them, pet them, and we totally have to clean their litter boxes (its just stuck to their ass rather than sitting in a corner) and they chase their tails and lick themselves all the time.

April 24, 2009 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger The Devil's Daughter-In-Law said...

You could always show him what it was like to be a kid in russia. You know, not bathe him and make him go barefoot and wear scarves on his head.

Also, whenver I see the term RHONY, I can't stop singing the song "Tenderoni" by Bobby Brown in my head for the rest of the day.

April 24, 2009 at 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

... or write a movie script.
Have they done one yet about a boy who wakes up in a kitten's body?

It would make a change from the endless (yawn) variations on Freaky Friday.

April 24, 2009 at 11:53 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

I often ask my self what it's like to be a dog. Specifically my spoiled @$$ rotten dogs...they don't pay rent, they don't contribute to the household budget...they're freeloaders. I am so jealous of them.

I imagine it's much the same to be a kitten, except less caring about it.

April 24, 2009 at 2:41 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i hope you referred him to your march 19 post.

April 24, 2009 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

You should send him to hang out with my three year old. She's been spending a lot of time lately telling us stories of when she used to be a puppy and/or an elephant. I'm sure she was a kitten in a past life too and would be happy to share stories.

April 24, 2009 at 4:04 PM  
Blogger Madge said...

never ever ask them to clarify what they said. we are so much better with our version....

April 24, 2009 at 4:28 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Indulge the boy's imagination. Let him shit in the litter box and help him work on his flexibility so he can lick his own balls.

Funny story!

April 24, 2009 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Since we have a brand new litter of kittens, I can totally tell your son what it's like to be one. Only on my blog since I'm an attention whore like that. Also, kittens curse horribly, so I don't know if your son will be able to read it. I'll let you know when I post their first week.

April 24, 2009 at 6:08 PM  
Blogger SSQuo said...

lol - perhaps you had a kitten growing up in Russia?

April 24, 2009 at 7:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha. That was funny.

April 24, 2009 at 8:12 PM  
Blogger Babe in Babeland said...

Very cute! I like your blog. I also live in NYC...what an adventure having kids here, huh?

April 25, 2009 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger Anna Lefler said...

I feel better now that I know someone else also watches people fall asleep when the subject of their book comes up.


(I'll always listen, though, M.)



June 11, 2009 at 11:41 PM  

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