Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Like a Thin Girl's Rosa Parks



images from The Huffington Post.

This is Stephanie Naumoska, the Australian contender for Miss Universe. As I understand it, that means that she was vying to become Miss Australia to compete for Miss Universe, but I am, admittedly, not well versed in the world of beauty and glamour. But seriously, Miss Universe? Like, where's Miss Mars? By the way if I were competing, I'd totally be Miss Anthrope. Also if I transgendered and became a drag queen.

But back to Stephanie Naumoska. She's 5'11" and weighs 108 pounds. I'm guessing that at least 4 of those pounds consist of hair.

The media has been asking if she's too thin. (And what's her secret, tee hee!)
Ok, is this some kind of a joke? Is it a serious question? Yes, Stephanie Naumoska is too fucking thin.


Yesterday morning, I'm making the kids' school lunches and I have Good Morning America on in the background and suddenly the story that I was born to watch comes on. Did you hear about this? This contender for Australian Miss Universe is under fire because she donned a bathing suit during the competition and she is so bony that everyone is super shocked and starts going on about how this is unhealthy and is she anorexic or bulimic and what kind of a message is this sending to our daughters.

Oh, sweet Jesus. I wish that this political correctness bullshit would just fade away, and maybe like for a day, people would say just what they meant.

Like, she looks bad. As in not good. In a way that has absolutely nothing to do with health. Heck, Kate Moss is no one's idea of a health freak, but she looks fantastic.

But of course, everyone is focused on health, because we are all worried about this girl that we've never seen before and never want to see again. (As a matter of fact, the Good Morning America story is filed under "Health" on its website as opposed to, say, "Shit That Makes Old Hags Feel Better About Themselves") Really, where do I send my check? Because with everything that is going on in the world today, I think that I am going to devote myself to her health and welfare. I'd like to sponsor her. Send her a few dollars each month for food and water and in exchange she will write me letters. I'm pretty sure that Sally Struthers prophesied this.

So I'm hoping that Good Morning America will say, "Is she too thin? Fuck, yes! Next up, how not to die from the swine flu and survive the recession!" but instead we get Stephanie telling Diane Sawyer how hurt she was about what people were saying about her and how she's never cried so much in her life (hello, dehydration!) and that she is fit and healthy and that she eats six meals a day. The fuck? I don't eat six meals a day. But I'm starting to think that that's my downfall because I have seen Cindy Crawford twice when she lived in NYC and each time was at a pastry store. Two different ones. I had to conclude that that was her beauty secret. And yes, I was also there at the pastry shop, what's your point?

Anyway, back to Stephanie. So she's talking about her six meals a day, and this is when I start to suspect that GMA sets this shit up,because Diane Sawyer brings out a plate of food--I THINK it was fish and some vegetables, but it's a full plate and asks "is this like a meal that you would have?" and Stephanie says "yes" and that she doesn't deny herself anything. I can tell that she's lying because a normal person would have lept at that plate of food and licked it clean, but she just sat there looking at it. Like it meant nothing to her. I don't know. Maybe she just had five of her six meals before she went on the air that morning.

But my favorite part of the whole interview, and possibly of my entire life so far, comes when Stephanie says that she is speaking up for the rights of skinny girls everywhere. Because if ever there was a misunderstood demographic, it's gorgeous, ultra thin young women. And as a society, we must devote more of our resources to helping them. I was so happy to hear that. Because I was starting to suspect that she was just getting her five calories of fame.

71 Comments:

Anonymous Kibbles said...

I think I will try your pastry shop diet this week...thanks for giving us free tips!

April 29, 2009 at 12:34 AM  
Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

She ought to be in an eating disorder clinic instead of a beauty pageant.

April 29, 2009 at 12:54 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

When you say "under fire" do you mean that you rang up and complained?

I've never understood that misunderstood demographic - gorgeous, ultra thin young women, if they're that thin don't they fall through drain gullies?

April 29, 2009 at 1:08 AM  
Blogger WkSocMom said...

It's like the gay conspiracy, all the gays abusing us poor souls by forcing there same sexedness marriage on us.

And my favorite part of the news article I read, was her "body type is Macedonian, which explains it all.

April 29, 2009 at 1:11 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Scary. I don't even know what else to say.

April 29, 2009 at 1:18 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Did Diane happen to ask her if she purged after every meal? Or was that conveniently left out of the interview?

April 29, 2009 at 1:35 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I think I just dropped one of my M&M's while reading this. Crud - I'm going to have to open another bag.

April 29, 2009 at 2:11 AM  
Blogger ♥ Braja said...

HOLY SHIT!!! Gross...

That's not an Aussie.

Signed,
an Aussie who knows how Aussie women love to look.

What bullshit...somebody tie the bitch down and force feed her. Hell, I will...

April 29, 2009 at 3:14 AM  
Blogger Priss said...

Of course she eats six meals a day. And takes a laxative and some ipecac before and after each one of them.

There is nothing healthy about this. If this is how her body actually is when she eats, she has a severe thyroid problem that is going to destroy her kidneys and kill her.

I bet she doesn't even bleed. Psh.

April 29, 2009 at 5:15 AM  
Anonymous Inna said...

Ewww! I could break her in half with my bare hands. And that must be a wig! Someone that malnourished could not have such a glossy mane.

April 29, 2009 at 6:19 AM  
Blogger K said...

Not a good look at all.

How has this become beautiful in our world?

April 29, 2009 at 6:50 AM  
Blogger Z said...

You need to write a book on that pastry shop diet. I would totally convert. (Though convert makes me think cult... do you want to start a pastry cult? With daily meetings served with fresh hot pastry? Mmmmm...)

April 29, 2009 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Kabbalah Rookie said...

All I could think when reading about the six meals a day and the plate of food was "go on, make her eat the entire plate. In front of everyone. With no comfort break afterwards. For two hours. And then follow up with a bowl of M&Ms"

Six meals, my arse.

But I do think she is right - we do need to devote more resources to helping the gorgeous, ultra thin young women. By funding a private clinic so that they can get back to a healthy weight. (Hey, when your periods start again, you can leave).....

April 29, 2009 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger prin said...

what got me was that she actually made it to the runner-up stage! i cannot believe that! oh and sign me up for the pastry diet, cult, daily meetings at the pastry shop...might not can be there in person but will be in spirit!

April 29, 2009 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger TeacherMommy said...

Dear lord. The girl is grotesque. Yeah--forget about health, that's just UGLY.

And those meals? I bet they consist of a single lettuce leaf wrapped around a carrot stick with perhaps a few bean sprouts thrown in for good measure. It's a lettuce wrap! People eat those all the time! Oh, and maybe a grape for dessert. You know, all balanced and crap.

April 29, 2009 at 7:57 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

I love that Cindy Crawford eats pastries! That Australian girl is freaky.

April 29, 2009 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

My god, she can't even has a period. I hate that bitch!

Seriously, I'm 5'8" and when I weighed 122 (like a fucking beluga whale to Stephanie, I'm sure), my period was all screwed up and my gyn told me to GAIN WEIGHT to straighten it out since I didn't have enough body fat.

It worked.

I bet when she says she eats six meals a day, five of those meals are air.

Look! I just had one myself!

April 29, 2009 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Oh, and in the spirit of saying what we really think...

Who would want to have s'ex with her? God, that would have to be painful with those bony hips.

Ok, my 150 lb self feels much better about me now!

April 29, 2009 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger Janine said...

Skinny girls?

I think that women with jangly arm skin are THE most misunderstood and ignored!!

With summer coming, people like me (with cheesy arms) should have whole prime time shows dedicated to their plight.

I am feeling an anxiety attack coming as I look at my sleeveless shirts.

April 29, 2009 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

This is hilarious. And also, really not funny.

She looks like crap. And she's not skinny. I'm skinny (5' 8" and 120) and I'm here to tell you I'd look like an elephant next to her. She's another category altogether.

A persecuted and misunderstood category apparently.

April 29, 2009 at 9:25 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

Dude, no one wants to see bones jutting out like that. BLEGH!

April 29, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

Six meals is equal to 1 hamburger, 4 Ex-Lax pills and 1 glass of water.

It's an time honored girls boarding school diet.

April 29, 2009 at 9:49 AM  
Anonymous NYCity Mama said...

You say it...she looks ugly...UGLY. Eat girl...EAT...and don't throw up afterwards!

April 29, 2009 at 9:51 AM  
Blogger WA said...

Thank god someone is finally sticking up for us skanky girls. Or did you say "skinny"? Cause then I don't give a rat's ass.

April 29, 2009 at 9:53 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

hmmm, i don't know. i think she still has a little cellulite around her arse if you look close enough. and i could only count two of her ribs. so maybe she should cut out a couple of those meals.

April 29, 2009 at 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Kim said...

I am just wondering who nominated her to be Miss Universe. Don't you have to win something like Miss Outback first? And she won? Really.

April 29, 2009 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Elisa said...

OMG, I need to lose weight, but honestly? I'd rather be chubby than look like that. Because I'm guessing her "secret" is an eating disorder. And if she really does eat 6 times a day, someone should let her know that a lettuce leaf, half a protein bar and a glass of water *do not* a meal make.

No shit, she looks bad. Below her face she looks like death in a bathing suit. Even her neck looks bad, which is unusual for a young girl.

April 29, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Thank you for providing the funniest rant on anorexic beauty queens that I have ever read. Yes, that demographic really needs a spokemodel to bring more attention to their plight. I bet Calista Flockheart and Lara Flynn Boyle will hop right on that bandwagon and campaign for bony women everywhere across the globe. Not only will they prove that ultra-skinniness can aid your route to fame and fortune, they can attest that older, heavyset dudes really enjoy having sex with them!

April 29, 2009 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

This is the most fantastic rant I have ever read and I laughed through it all while also enjoying and supporting the message you've put out. I am 5'7", and if was as healthy as this woman believes she is, I'd be dead. That's super healthy. I also think if we could see her eat one of her six daily meals that she believes are healthy, we could see the outline of the said food item through what little there is of her abdomen, and could count them to see she's probably not eating anywhere near six meals but probably more like six bites.

April 29, 2009 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

WOW! I've heard snippets of this story but am so bored by it I haven't really seen pics of her. DAMN! If that's healthy, what am I? My 'healthy' weight at 5'6" is 150-160lbs and she says her 5'11 frame 108 is healthy? I want HER doctor...yeah, I'm UBER healthy!
P.S. I DO NOT weigh 156-160lbs, but I'm TRYING to get there again!

April 29, 2009 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger HappyHourSue said...

The only thing I hate more than skinny models who say they "have a high metabolism" is Hollywood moms who claim they stay thin by "running after their kids all day". Damn, sister, you gots some hyperactive kids.

April 29, 2009 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

I can't even think of anything clever to say. She made me hungry though, shit, I think I'll go eat now....

April 29, 2009 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Iheartfashion said...

I was really hoping Diane Sawyer would dare her to eat the whole plate of food on-air.

April 29, 2009 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Molly C said...

There's skinny, like my roommate. and then there is "the jewish mother inside me wants to hug you and then feed you". That tiny little thing is the latter.

A fast metabolism does not leave you with hip bones that jut like that. The telltale sign for me is always the knees. For some reason painfully thin girls always have big kneecaps. It's like their body's way of saying "I could be normal sized. help"

I had a friend pass away from an eating disorder at 28. It's not glamourous, exiciting or beautiful, it's tragic, sad and leaves those who love you crying, feeling like a piece of their heart is missing.

April 29, 2009 at 11:37 AM  
Blogger Suzannah said...

Cotton balls do not count as meals.

April 29, 2009 at 12:30 PM  
OpenID cluckandtweet.com said...

On "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me," recently they talked about the Japanese using robots instead of models. One of the drawback was that the robots ate more than the models. My husband find that very unattractive. Or else he's just saying that so that he'll still get laid.

April 29, 2009 at 12:45 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

Did ANYONE think to ask her if she also regurgitates six times a day? Because that is the only thing I can think of that would explain those dangerous protuberances called hip bones. Or perhaps English is not her first language and she thinks the word "meal" means what we would call "bite." But I'm going for the former explanation, frankly.

April 29, 2009 at 12:51 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

Also, as I've long recommended for Calista Flockheart, I think a hamburger i.v. is in order here.

April 29, 2009 at 12:54 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Oh dear. Maybe your mom can ask her when the last she had her menses was.

April 29, 2009 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

If the camera adds 10 pounds, does that mean she only weighs 98 and therefore qualifies for ethiopian status?

April 29, 2009 at 2:08 PM  
Anonymous SoMi's Nilsa said...

I saw that interview! Did you notice that when Diane Sawyer asked Stefanie if this is a meal she would eat, Stefanie kind of danced around the subject. Like she wanted to say (but knew she couldn't), yes I eat those kinds of foods but not in that quantity!!!

More seriously, I have very mixed emotions about this. Women who have eating disorders have a lot of trouble admitting it. Putting individuals in the spotlight will not help them see they have a problem. In fact, it might send them further in the other direction. I'm just not so sure pinning individuals is the way to go. If the Australia pageant people or the Miss Universe pageant people want to set standards for minimum weight based on height, that might be a better way to go about it.

April 29, 2009 at 3:38 PM  
Anonymous Dejoni said...

I'm SO sick of these anorexic girls saying "I eat." No, they do not eat. No one that eats normally looks that way. I bet if you take off her veneers you'd see the enamel wore off her teeth from years of purging. SAD!
Even more sad is that this is what my girls are growing up to think this is the "standard" of beauty.

April 29, 2009 at 3:56 PM  
OpenID zandor said...

Whenever I see people with hip bones like that it looks like it hurts.

April 29, 2009 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

hehehehehahahahha!!
Please send me the address of the pastry shop... I want to see Cindy Crawford.. I mean, be like Crawford!

April 29, 2009 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Madge said...

GMA is sick. Stephanie is sick. it's all sick.

on my way to make dinner... a big nice fattening dinner.

April 29, 2009 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Dude, Marinka, maybe she DOES eat all that food.

(and then she throws it up in the bathroom after taking a box of laxatives.)

(what? me bitchy?)

April 29, 2009 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Actually, I was that thin when I was her age -- maybe thinner. It wasn't cute. My knees looked like doorknobs and you could count all my ribs. When I wore boots, I looked like I was standing in a pair of buckets.

And I ate all the time, whatever I wanted.

So, she may be legit.

Just sayin'....

April 29, 2009 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger Smart A$$ Mom said...

Great, u grab urself a hungry bitch to petition for and I will stand up for those with cystic acne and downey obsessions. We'll save the world one wasteless project at a time. Swine flu! Swine flu! Swine flu!

April 29, 2009 at 10:42 PM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

Wow. Urgh.
My problem isn't so much with her looking like this (assuming that she runs more towards naturally skinny than serious eating disorder) but that this can be promoted as an ideal. In an arena such as Miss Universe - they should know better.

April 29, 2009 at 10:49 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Someone needs to tape a sandwich to her ass.

Signed,
Miss Mashed Potatoes
Arkansas Chapter

April 29, 2009 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

I could eat her for dinner. Yikes.

And it looks awesome here-- where the hell have I been?!?

April 29, 2009 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger ella said...

Holy shit! was what I said as the photo loaded. Man o mercy that just looks painful.

So I'm coming to NYC for a visit. I'll look for you in Petco or the pastry shop...

April 30, 2009 at 12:39 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

WTF...she is only twice as big as my 5 year old. I think they should have questioned how many meals she DIGEST a day...hmmm.

April 30, 2009 at 2:34 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

Where do I donate to the skinny bitch fund????? where??

those poor bitches.

April 30, 2009 at 6:37 AM  
Blogger lizspin said...

I want to throw up when I see those pictures. . . does that make my anorexic too???

Having a daughter who has battled an eating disorder (yes, we've been through it all. . . ) I'm disgusted.

April 30, 2009 at 7:46 AM  
Anonymous Elaine at Lipstickdaily said...

This is just upsetting. I'm going to declare my solidarity with healthy images for our daughters by immediately embarking on the pastry diet.

April 30, 2009 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Excuse me, I have to go throw up now. # 1 because that photo is disgusting and she is definitely too thin and # 2 because I definitely don't feel bad for ANYONE whose biggest problem is that they eat everything they want and are still skinny.

Whatevs.

April 30, 2009 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I lOVE your new header!!!! It looks fantastic!

April 30, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Phat Mama said...

So I click on your blog, as I do daily and am immediately assaulted by a corpse in a bikini.

I licked the salt off of a potato chip (or 20) and then ate it, because I am not a food quitter and laughed as I read along - Marinka, you make my day. :)

April 30, 2009 at 6:09 PM  
Blogger Jennifer H said...

I've been on the pastry shop diet for years. With totally different results.

Those pictures are disturbing.

April 30, 2009 at 6:48 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

The sad thing is that this qualifies as news.

The whole fucking world has gone mad. I mean, just the U.S.

April 30, 2009 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger Nap Warden said...

OK...1, this has gotten way to much press. Sister soldier looks bad. Period. Go eat.

2, I am so sick of the news right now I could puke...but I'm thinking Miss Australia beat me to it:P

3, LOVE the new header!

April 30, 2009 at 8:45 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

The moment I saw that picture I thought - she looks like a starvation victim. Gross.

April 30, 2009 at 10:39 PM  
Blogger texasholly said...

GENIUS!

I loved this.

May 1, 2009 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Pgoodness said...

I think she's telling the truth - but see, her six meals are probably a carrot each, where as mine? Well, not so much. :)

Yes, just once it would be nice to have GMA or anyone say: LOOK, here's some food - eat, you're too freaking skinny and you look horrible!!

May 1, 2009 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

six pounds of which is her hair: brilliant.

I agree with Pgoodness. a carrot probably suffices as a meal for her with a chaser of two lines of coke I'm sure

May 2, 2009 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Fucking brilliant post.

"tee hee"

May 3, 2009 at 12:13 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

She's f-ing anorexic and should be banned!

Just sayin...

May 3, 2009 at 5:53 AM  
Blogger annie valentine said...

I think she should write a book detailing how terribly the world has treated her and her diet (which she will document in detail).

May 3, 2009 at 7:39 PM  
Anonymous melissa said...

i guess there is such a thing as being too skinny. that is just...gross.

May 5, 2009 at 12:01 AM  
Blogger MG @ MommyGeekology said...

That is just sad. And disgusting.

(p.s. It's me! i.m.o.m.m.y! I've got a shiny new identity. shhh, it's a secret!)

May 15, 2009 at 8:00 AM  

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