Monday, May 4, 2009

Cleaning: It May Be Contagious

The great thing about doing your own cleaning, especially if you are me, is how much mileage you can get out it. It's sort of like household chemo.

Like the other day, Husbandrinka came home with our kids, plus my son's friend and the friend's mother. Well, the mother is also my friend, but that's like totally extraneous to the story and if there's one thing that I hate it's when people go off on some inane tangent and then can't figure out how to get back to their main point so you're sort of reading a lot of nonsense and can't even remember what the original post was about or why you're still reading or your own name, because the writer has deadened every brain cell that you have.

Anyway, they all come back and my friend says, "so what should we do with the boys this afternoon?" and I'm thinking, "anything the hell away from here would be just grand!" but of course I can't say that because Mother's Day is next weekend and what kind of a moron do you think I am, anyway? So, I say, "I don't know, I have to do some more cleaning around here," and sigh dramatically and she starts getting really uncomfortable because what if this fucking pre-poverty is contagious and so she says, "I'll take them to the pool" and I exhale dramatically and say, "are you sure you don't mind, I just have another bathroom to clean and then the kitchen and the laundry," and she's shaking her head, no, she'd love to take them, have a great day, door slam. Scene.

Which is great, because it really clears up the afternoon for blogging.

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26 Comments:

Blogger Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Excellent work! Really, stellar. I am impressed!

May 4, 2009 at 12:05 AM  
Blogger Frau said...

Great job! Except when they come back she is going to think you are a horrible cleaner and feel so bad for your family!!! Or maybe the chlorine smell will make her see double and she will have no clue!

May 4, 2009 at 1:33 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

I was thinking just this weekend that the thing I miss most about my old job is not being able to afford my cleaning lady anymore. Now the only time the house is clean is when I do it, and God knows that ain't gonna happen very often.

May 4, 2009 at 5:56 AM  
Blogger Janine said...

And leave some tools out so you can claim you also fixed something and we all know how long that can take.

May 4, 2009 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You are a genius.

May 4, 2009 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

I hate housecleaning, but I like everything orderly. I have exactly one small spot, the size of my foot, between my bed and the closet, and I balance there to reach my clothes. Do I need to clean? Yes I do.

May 4, 2009 at 8:12 AM  
Anonymous Coco said...

Work it, work it...

May 4, 2009 at 8:16 AM  
Blogger KekeLynn said...

hahaha! Nice work, sounds like you are a closet actress!

May 4, 2009 at 8:30 AM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

I'm sure Marinka knows to dab some chlorine behind her ears and leave a wet mop in a prominent position - any "leftover" dirt can be blamed on the cat.
I know my cat has a stellar reputation for immediately messing up anything I clean.

May 4, 2009 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

I just bitch about the laundry endlessly. It gets me nowhere. Maybe if I add the resigned sigh someone will take my kids too.

May 4, 2009 at 10:39 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

Great work! I'm still thinking about your blog assignment. I'll send it later.

May 4, 2009 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Excellent call. I would also like to compliment you on the well placed for ironic emphasis run on sentence. Well done!

May 4, 2009 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

I hope to be like you when I grow up.

May 4, 2009 at 12:13 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Til she reads this post and you can't reuse the pity factor again!!!

May 4, 2009 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

at least those Fly ladies are good for something!!

May 4, 2009 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger Tooj said...

Ick, I very much dislike unexpected guests.

May 4, 2009 at 2:23 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i am so nominating you for homemaker of the year award.

May 4, 2009 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Great strategy. I'll definitely try this one.

May 4, 2009 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger lizspin said...

That's my girl!!!!

May 4, 2009 at 5:44 PM  
Anonymous Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

Ha! This totally made me laugh! =)

Well done!

May 4, 2009 at 6:41 PM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

Brilliant as always!

I mentioned you in my blog today. xo

May 4, 2009 at 8:10 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

I don't even like to take my own kids to the pool! Damn, I need to trash this place out more and make some cool friends with kids!

p.s. - I'm all paranoid you were talking about me and my random blog chatter that interupts the whole 'wait, what was I saying?' aspect of my posts....

May 4, 2009 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Dude, you are a freaking evil genius. You should have run for president.

May 5, 2009 at 12:11 AM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

Damn, you are a contagious bitch! I had company coming yesterday who was seeing my addition for the first time and I gasp..had to pick up my underwear from the bathroom floor and wash down the sinks.

May 6, 2009 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Awesome!!! I've gotta try that.

May 6, 2009 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

Nice going. Does she like spending time with five year olds and not in my home?

May 7, 2009 at 5:39 PM  

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