Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

You know how sometimes you'll get an email and it'll have that "Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device" thing on the bottom. What is that for, exactly?

I think it's there to make everyone who does not have a Blackberry feel bad about their lives. Like me. Like should my email say "sent from a piece of shit with dial up" on the bottom, since we're being all confessional here?

Well, it won't say that because my email is sent from a Vivienne Tam HP Mini and it totally kicks some Blackberry ass.

Why?

First of all, because I get to use it. Second of all, because it looks awesome and has a real keyboard so that while you're typing you don't look like you've just been awarded your first set of opposable thumbs and you're taking them out for a maiden voyage. Third of all, because when you take it out in public you get all sorts of envious attention from everyone around. (And I live in NYC, so I can just imagine how the Vivienne Tam HP mini is going to play in Peoria.) And isn't that why we buy things in the first place--to elicit insane jealousy? Oh, it's not? Then explain to me that Sent from my BlackBerry legend again, please.

Seriously--HP let me try out their Vivienne Tam mini and it is fantastic. It is super light (like half an ounce or something. Disclaimer: I'm not a weights and measures specialist!) super fast (it's the cheetah of computers!) fucking gorgeous (which I didn't realize was a requirement for computers, but now that I've had one, no way am I going to the plain old laptop, like some sort of a cavewoman). And the bonus is that since I've had access to one, I've had far fewer reasons to leave the bed. Yes, I stay in bed, with the TV on, and blog on the mini. And read blogs. And try to find the solution to the Middle East conflict (I'm worried that I was sounding a little too lazy).

And my 10 year old daughter is all over it. She loves it. This is the child who has been asking me for a laptop while the obstetrician was C-sectioning her out of me. She thinks that my telling her to use my Dell laptop is a severe case of child abuse. "A DELL?" she asked. "I need an Apple notebook." Yes, Ms. Bradshaw. So I assumed that the Mini was safe from her. Wrong. She loves it so much that she told me that she wants one instead of the Apple. And my son, who doesn't give a shit about laptops told me that if she's getting one, then he wants the Lego Star Wars set that, and I'm not even making this up, costs $700. Seriously, what lunatic pays that kind of money for Lego? Oh yeah, the kind of lunatic that doesn't want to hear her kid whining anymore. Lego? Call me.

Blogged on a Vivienne Tam HP Mini, while sipping Vueve Cliquot champagne and eating truffles, bathed in Creed Spring Flowers perfume and wearing a..fur coat.

Labels:

57 Comments:

Blogger Rachel said...

Count me in for the feeling-bad-about-my-life.

I blog on a Dell (gulp) desktop. I've been thinking of moving my bed into the den.

February 21, 2009 at 12:23 AM  
Blogger Braja said...

You lying bitch. It was Dom Perignon, and I know you wrote VC just so we'd think you were one of us little people.

** Written by Braja on a MacBook -- a WHITE ONE cos they're faster and sexier -- that is starting to make cryptic noises and which will soon be replaced: possibly by a sexy Vivienne Tam number, or whatever some sponsor wants to buy me.

February 21, 2009 at 12:41 AM  
Blogger Braja said...

I hope that didn't sound bitter. Not that I'm not bitter; just that I don't want people to know I am.

Pass me a chilled glass and a fresh bottle, there's a love....

February 21, 2009 at 12:42 AM  
Blogger Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I write on whatever's available. But that Vagina Tom number sounds pretty good.

Isn't that what you said?


***Sent from my Crackberry***

February 21, 2009 at 12:44 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

@Janie LOL, I call mine a crackberry too.

I am hear to tell you all why it says that on the bottom of the message. So when you type yojr worfs loke this, yoou havr an excuse, becaus ur drivng an typin wit one hind.

sent from my Imac with mad typing skills. no alcohol necessary!

February 21, 2009 at 12:49 AM  
Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I stand for a moment and salivate over the minis every time I walk into Costco.

Sent from my piece of crap Dell laptop with a toasted wireless card and broken audio.

February 21, 2009 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger katydidnot said...

apparently we share a brain.

http://www.katydidnot.blogspot.com/

February 21, 2009 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger katydidnot said...

also? $700 legos? does that buy you, like, a stake in legoland?

February 21, 2009 at 1:14 AM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

Ok, seriously, what am I doing wrong? I want some awesome free shit to blog about. Helloooo? All I get are freaky offers about sex toys. I'll take a computer, please. Thanks.

And I have my iPhone siggy to explain any typos, which is ironic since the auto grammar/spell is so good there aren't any. Oh well. It looks cool.

February 21, 2009 at 5:00 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Having recently send you an email from my Blackberry device I feel, ahem, *really* bad.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

February 21, 2009 at 5:08 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Actually, if it was my email that inspired the article then I feel I should be heralded as your muse...

February 21, 2009 at 5:42 AM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

I have to agree with your daughter that Dell sucks...

But that's only because the motherboard on mine died FOR THE SECOND TIME yesterday. And now I am relegated to an HP laptop, that is not a mini and doesn't have all my pictures on it and I had to INSTALL photoshop CS4 on it because it didn't already have it.

February 21, 2009 at 6:09 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

I have a blackberry, I don't buy internet though.
My son thinks I have a big "L" on my forehead.
Oh, make it a double "L" I have a dell laptop ...

February 21, 2009 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

I SAW your VT mini button yesterday and I'm really jealous. It's beautiful and makes my iphone feel like an office calculator. We're going to have to have to find a self help book to get us through this self esteem breakdown.

As for the blackberry tag - I always had a different perspective. I used to have one for work, and to me that tag was always the narc that told my out of town boss that I was actually answering e-mails from my neighborhood Starbucks...or a bar.

February 21, 2009 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

I don't buy that it's there as a way of saying "please excuse the typos" for a second. I think it's there to brag. And if there's anything that I hate, it's bragging. Now excuse me as I continue to type on the VT HP mini.

Oh, and the mini is on loan to me, so no need for super envy. Regular size envy is fine. Or even mini envy.

And for everyone that I insulted with the Dell bashing--we've had a Dell for years and I loved it. But a few years ago I got a Dell laptop and I think it was part of their Molasses series or something because it took forfuckingever.

February 21, 2009 at 7:42 AM  
Blogger Joanie said...

"Sent from my blackberry" is definitely there to brag.

I like my Dell desktop. It's the first computer I bought that was actually NEW and not a refurbished one from Ebay or one put together with parts of 15 other broken computers that my ex had. A laptop or notebook is on my wish list, as is a PDA when I come up for upgrade again in 2 years.

February 21, 2009 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I am currently on Skippy the Wondermac that I got at the school district for $50. And until recently, he was pretty good. But recently he has stopped running on about half of the websites I go to. And he crashes when I use power point, which is now an issue since I got a real job. Oh well. So until I get my mini, I'll just have to be jealous of yours. And of the fact that you even get to demo and review it.

February 21, 2009 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger Tooj said...

"so that while you're typing you don't look like you've just been awarded your first set of opposable thumbs and you're taking them out for a maiden voyage."

LOVE IT.

And the Legos thing is outrageous. I thought my 11 year old was crazy for wanting the 300 dollar one.

February 21, 2009 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

The mere fact that there are $700 sets of legos makes me feel even more determined to resist the near-constant nagging for another new Transformer (price tag $50, which I thought was outrageous). First you buy the transformers, next they want the legos, and before you know it, you're supporting the child version of what is sure to become the adult penchant for all kinds of new technological wonders NECESSARY at every turn.

I'm just saying...

***Not sent from my CrackBerry, which I'm not bitter about, but whose mere existence makes me crazy because my husband the technology glutton can't get enough of his.***

February 21, 2009 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

I just got Creed Spring Flowers last month. do you like it? me, not so much. i wish i could return a slightly used bottle.

oh, and so jealous of your new computer. that would look lovely on me. i have the perfect dress for it.

February 21, 2009 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger Smores for Breakfast said...

ha!!!!!
personally, I HATE blackberries. not only are they fugly, but they reek of bankers, lawyers, accountants, and 3-piece brown suits.

while you're in trubs with your daughter wanting all the goodies, at least you know you've taught her good taste.

February 21, 2009 at 9:08 AM  
Blogger Smart A$$ Mom said...

read by Traci on her awesomely fast Gateway laptop with both hinges broken so it must remain stationary on a desk with a wall holding it up

Some people chose vacations over new laptops. Or champagne over laptops. We don't judge.

I will march all the way over to your apartment to kick down a tower of 700 dollar legos. Because I have never done that before.

February 21, 2009 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

I want to test something cool! I never get asked to test anything. Hell, I don't care if it's a VT mini, sex toys (Scary Mommy, do they actually want those back when you're done?), or whatever.

sent from my Motorola Q9

February 21, 2009 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Crazy Charm said...

I was just about to leave you a comment saying, "You're hilarious!" Then your leave a comment disclaimer scared the shit out of me. Of course, this makes me think you're even funnier!

Love your blog :)

February 21, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Coma Girl said...

The only reason my Blackberry has that signature is because I have not figured out how to turn it off/delete it...I'm not that bright.

Sent from my dell laptop, which is still missing keys since my daughter was quietly "playing one day"

February 21, 2009 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Boy. I thought I was a badass with my iphone.

Shit. Thanks a lot Marinka, now I'll be extending my stint in therapy.

February 21, 2009 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger jennygirltherat said...

My friend's new phone does that gloating tag thing. She wasn't aware of it until I told her to stop mocking me! Now she's embarrassed and apologizes to everyone when she sends them a message. She's still trying to figure out how to delete that tag.

February 21, 2009 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

That is one sexy laptop. I am really jealous. Truly jealous. Now I feel like your 10 year old daughter.

February 21, 2009 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I feel like an ugly old bag loser over here. I don't know what Creed Spring Flowers perfume is, and i don't have a laptop, unless you count the piece of shit from work that won't hook up to my wireless. I write on a desktop and I have to wake up at ungodly hours to use it when my kids are not doing homework on it.

I need to bump up my writing and get offered some freebies. I'm gunning for the Viv.

February 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger WA said...

I wonder if I can get one using my Kmart employee discount? Cause I'd love to download some of my hugeass baby pictures onto it.

February 21, 2009 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

I love how your blogger title font coordinates perfectly with the VT mini button colors. Did you plan that?

February 21, 2009 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

that tagline "sent from my crackberry" just brands that sender a loser because they don't have an iphone!!!

February 21, 2009 at 12:54 PM  
Blogger lizspin said...

This comment has been sent to you from my college-daughter's-cast-off-Dell-laptop-which-proudly-sports-a-plaid-peace-sign-sticker-which-reads "Up Yer Kilt!"

February 21, 2009 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

PS, did you see http://katydidnot.blogspot.com/2009/02/it-just-super-hard-to-find-like.html today?

February 21, 2009 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

My cell phone is so old and big it doesn't even fold. Sigh.

I do have about $5,000 worth of Legos in the house and a possible next summer trip to LegoLand in Denmark.

Some things are so unfair.

February 21, 2009 at 2:10 PM  
Blogger K said...

I think it would be very dangerous if I could blog outside of my home. I already neglect housework - think of all the other areas of my life I could complete ignore.

February 21, 2009 at 2:46 PM  
Blogger phd in yogurtry said...

you and katydidnot are twilight zoning. scary.

signed,

not sent by my blackberry because I'm too cheap for the data package

February 21, 2009 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger StatMama said...

Blackberry has shameless advertising.

And $700 Legos? W.T.F?!!!!!!!!??? Maybe the wrecked economy will bring toy prices back into reality.

But probably not.

February 21, 2009 at 3:28 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

The "opposable thumbs on their maiden voyage" quip made me snort. The (female) VP for Information Technology where I used to work was a Crackberry addict (does that make her a "Blackhead"?)

Sent from my 5-year-old Dell-fucking-desktop.

February 21, 2009 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger BedsideTalesMan said...

Well, I am here blogging and Twittering from an ancient Dell desktop that is so freaking slow that I could literally press publish, go get a cup of coffee and then come back to watch it finally go through.......

anyway. Thought I'd let you know that you have been nominated as a Hot Mama over at the Hot Dads blog - http://hotdads.blogspot.com

Back to computers...I think that the day I actually get a new laptop...I will 'finish' all over myself (did I just say that?)

February 21, 2009 at 3:40 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

I think I saw that on QVC last week. Not that I watch QVC.

February 21, 2009 at 3:47 PM  
Blogger HoodChick said...

I have 2 Dell desktops, 1 Dell laptop and 1 HP laptop in my house right now. (The HP belongs to my employers.)

I've been jonesing the mini's. Thru work I get an employee discount. Dell actually sells the stuff to you at a discounted price. HP makes you pay full price, fill in a bunch of shit and apply for a "rebate." Which is like, a lot of work for us lazy bitches.

February 21, 2009 at 4:13 PM  
Blogger KiKi said...

HAHAHAHHA! LOVE THIS!!!

And my child is ALSO asking for the same $700 Star Wars Lego set. He is driving me batshit every night wanting to get on my computer to salivate over the Lego website....

February 21, 2009 at 4:25 PM  
Blogger SSauer said...

Does that $700 Star Wars Lego set come with a maid who cleans up those tiny f'ing pieces every day? 'Cause otherwise are you out of your mind for even asking for that toy????

February 21, 2009 at 7:36 PM  
Anonymous apathy lounge said...

Well...unless you're also wearing Manolos and a diamond-studded bra while you're typing this...then it proves you're not really trying.

February 21, 2009 at 7:52 PM  
Anonymous Wendy said...

Vueve Cliquot, truffles and Creed Spring?! I love all those. Let's be friends!

February 21, 2009 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I want one of those VT HP minis so much that I can't even come up with a decent comment. And I have a rockin' hot macbook with a red cover, already. It doesn't have pretty flowers, though. And it definitely weighs more than 1/2 an ounce. grrrr.

February 21, 2009 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger SoMi's Nilsa said...

I love when you follow that link, it offers you a package including a matching scarf. Please tell me you trounce around the city toting your favorite laptop with your favorite scarf! You'll be my hero if you do.

February 22, 2009 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

Hahahaha, Love it! That is one Suh-weet laptop. I saw it in the store last weekend and just had to touch it. It's so purty.

**written on a POS Compaq desktop, after chugging the last of some seriously nasty pregnancy-required decaf coffee. But never fear..a pretty pink laptop is currently in transit and I will soon join you, in the Rockstar group of blogging-from-bed bloggers.

February 22, 2009 at 10:01 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Vueve Cliquot is my favorite. As for the phone I am envious my phone is about 4 years old and I can just about text with it - and the up arrow doesn't work.

February 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Oh that laptop is beautiful *wipes drool off mouse*

February 23, 2009 at 1:58 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

Wait, I had no idea I was supposed toput what I'm typing on at the bottom of my emails.

**Sent from work computer on company time**

February 23, 2009 at 12:02 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

comment left while sitting in sweatpants, horny, and eating a yoplait.

February 23, 2009 at 2:03 PM  
Anonymous Lish said...

I can't read 53 comments so I don't know if someone already mentioned this. But how can you describe the beauty of this piece of machinery and not add a picture? Some of us in Peoria (Sacramento, CA) don't even know what a Blackberry is, let alone this Tam thing. And I just don't feel like googling at the moment.

And if you put it anywhere else on your site already, please forgive me. I just randomly pick whatever looks interesting on your blog and read it.

February 24, 2009 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Um, all I can say is "you win!" What a great computer - you lucky girl you!

March 2, 2009 at 9:52 PM  
Blogger Nanny Goats In Panties said...

What? It's gorgeous and you don't show us a picture of the dang thing?

Actually I just realized that I'm merely mimicking what Lish said. And I'm in Sacramento too!

March 9, 2009 at 9:57 PM  
Blogger HappyHourSue said...

Does that little ad say 'digital clutch"????

That is the most superfantabulous term EVER. Digital clutch. I'm getting one.

(written from my 7 year old desktop imac that may or may not shut down unexpect

March 11, 2009 at 8:31 PM  

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