Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?

So, as you probably know, I'm in the midst of a giveaway right now, which means that things are a little  different. For one, comments on each post close at midnight.  And for another, I haven't felt comfortable running my "Resurrection" post this week.  I'm hoping to get the courage to do that next week.  Please pray for me.

Today is catch up day.

First:  A while ago, I ranted and raved about how full of shit Kelly and Reese are for saying, in effect, that their kids play with sticks and rocks and how those are the best toys.  I didn't buy it for a second.  Well, friend John told me that he was watching Regis & Kelly recently and Teri Hatcher was on and she and Kelly were talking about how their daughters love to ride horses.  So, I guess we have to add a fucking stallion to the list of "rocks" and "sticks" of playthings for Kelly's kids.  Gotcha. (Oh yeah, side note:  Does anyone know what's up with Regis' hair?)

Second:  On Tuesday night,  I went out with my regular group of "mom friends" from my kids' school. We get together once a month for dinner and margaritas.  So, I had my "I adopted a kitten" story all prepared and I was ready to bask in the glory and the adoration, when another mom said, "We got two kittens." Seriously, who does that?  Totally stole my glory.  But both of our glories were stolen by yet a third mom who told us that she'd bought her 27 year old step daughter a vibrator.

Third:  Nicki (the single, non-vibrating kitten) is doing really well. She's either the perfect kitten or she's doing some kind of method acting and being superperfect so as to lull us into a sense of security and then destroy us from within.  So, she may be an al Quaeda operative, is what I'm saying.  She doesn't meow in the middle of the night, she's litter trained and she is very "stuffed animal" in the sense that once you put her somewhere, she sort of stays there indefinitely.  Ok, so she may be lazy, too. The kids take turns having her sleep in their beds. Wednesday night was my son's turn:

Fourth:  I was looking at her certificate of spaying/neutering.  It says, "to the best of our knowledge, the above pet was spayed/neutered prior to admission due to a presence of an abdominal incision consistent with spay surgery or the absence of external genitalia." What does absence of external genitalia mean? Certainly they don't chop off the penis, do they? Haven't mommy bloggers explained that that's wrong?! Unless they mean the testicles. And even then I thought that they kept the Balzac.
But back to Nicki, yes, she has a scar on her tummy, but what if she had a tummy tuck or something, and here I am thinking she's all spayed and not refilling her birth control pills.  Although maybe she's a lesbian.  Here's hoping.

Fifth:  Do you read Fawty?  Because Belle is so funny every single day.  I love her.

Sixth:   Don't miss this gem of a Week in Review.

 

Reminder!

Scary Mommy, OHMommy, A Southern Fairy Tale and I are doing our first ever joint giveaway and it's a doozy! Check out the EZ to Read and Understand Rulz here!