Saturday, January 31, 2009

Another fucking cat post!

So, today (or The Day Which Shall Live on in Infamy, as Husbandrinka calls it, because you know, that's catchier than "Saturday") is the day that we all are going to the shelter to adopt a kitten.  By "we all" I mean Husbandrinka, the kids, my parents and I, not everyone who reads this blog.  Boundaries, people.

The preparations have not going well.

Last weekend the kids and I went back to PETCO to get "the basic necessities" which, according to me, were a litter box, a food bowl and a litter scooper and according to the kids were a scratching post, a $250 "kitty home" that if the economy gets much worse I could move into and a collar that spelled out  'N heat! in rhinestones. After an animated discussion that had a PETCO employee with her Lee Press-on Nail finger on the security button, we agreed to "revisit" the issue of their necessities at home with daddy as the "tie breaker". Seriously, sometimes these kids are such suckers.

Husbandrinka still hasn't embraced our expanding family.  He's been sighing deeply all week and making comments like, "Our peaceful lives will be over soon."  Peaceful lives? Ok, I was less than a mile from Ground Zero on September 11th and I ride the NYC subways every day, while he's at a Zen retreat, apparently.  Then my daughter starts with the whole "we have to interview veterinarians"crap. I don't know if people do this where you live, but in NYC parents interview pediatricians before their kids are hatched. I'm not kidding. So you're all pregnant, and you're sitting there talking to the pediatrician about your hypothetical issues with the child to see if you "mesh".   If I were a pediatrician, I'd hire professional actors to do those sessions in my place, because I don't understand  how a normal person be expected to put up with that crap.

So my daughter has the idea that we should interview veterinarians in the same way. On the one hand, I love the idea, because, hey, free time-killing activity with the kids! But on the other hand, I'm not certifiably insane, so I pull the plug on that.  
"We're going to get a vet upstate," I tell her, referring to the area where my parents have a dacha.  Because it's cheaper there than in NYC.
"WHAT?" she nearly faints, "We need someone close by in case the cat has a health emergency."
Can you guess who was close by when she said "cat has a health emergency"?
Husbandrinka has been very cranky about it.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think that he was planning on putting the cat on his back and doing the twelve stations of the cat, I mean, cross, with it.

So here we are.
By Saturday night, we should be cat parents.
There will be a lot of work to be done--litter box training, petting and fussing.
But Husbandrinka and the kids are going to be in charge of that.  Because I'm going out with some fabulous blogging friends!


32 Comments:

Blogger Braja said...

Is this the same kitten you're threatening to kill if I don't follow all your link demands? I should kidnap your children and do them a favor.

Remember and buy me a drink, you heartless wretched woman. And give Vodka a big hug for me.

January 31, 2009 at 2:05 AM  
Blogger jon said...

Yay, the day is here! I can't take the suspense, I can't wait to see Meowrinka!

January 31, 2009 at 3:40 AM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

Good luck with the cat! And I'm so jealous about the drinking and carousing with fellow bloggers!

January 31, 2009 at 6:31 AM  
Blogger The Dental Maven said...

I understand the scratching thingy and the kitty house, but I sure hope you don't give in to those tawdry cat clothes!

January 31, 2009 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger lizspin said...

and the name of new kitty will be ??????

January 31, 2009 at 7:49 AM  
Blogger lisa said...

Don't remind Husbandrinka that cat's have 9 lives. You'll be doomed before you start.

January 31, 2009 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Good luck with your new kitty. And Meowrinka totally works as a name. Or maybe Purrinka. Either way, keep Husbandrinka away from my blog so he doesn't read about any Cat Health Emergencies.

January 31, 2009 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

You better not take husbandrinka, the shelter will deny your adoption request.

Have a great time with the girls! Hi to Vodka Mom :)

January 31, 2009 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Heinous said...

Cats never have emergencies, they're too aloof for that. They have minor issues which may or may not be life-threatening.

January 31, 2009 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger Joanie said...

Training a cat is so easy! You bring the kitty into the house, you say "here's your food, here's your water, here's the litter box." and you're done! I swear! And you don't even have to teach it to poop like I did with mine, honest! The BIG question is... who's job is it to clean out the litter box?

January 31, 2009 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Good luck! Make sure you and the gals toast to 15 more years of feline blog fodder (Yes, 15 years)!

January 31, 2009 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I think you should name poor kitty...Circumcise. Or Snip.

Just because.

And because I missed the previous post, I think a circumcision reversal would be a better threat. Ow.

January 31, 2009 at 10:18 AM  
OpenID shoesonwrong said...

As far as normal things go, training cats is super easy. They know where to crap, how to eat out of their bowl, and they usually get the hang of a scratching post quickly.

Just don't get a brain damaged cat like I apparently did. And for god's sake, don't get two of them like I did.

January 31, 2009 at 10:58 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i know this goes against all the "comment guidelines", but in the interest of your long-term well-being, my friend peggy strongly suggests you getting a nearby vet and one that you "mesh" with. peggy has a cat, Scooter, and spends many a night taking Scooter to the vet for various emergencies - boils, eating disorders, cyst removals, vocal maladies... she suggests checking out the waiting rooms too, because gone will be the nights when you go out drinking with your blog-buds, but in its stead, you will come to know many of your neighbors and their pets, waiting for your dr. doolittle. i'm just passing on what peggy says.

January 31, 2009 at 11:20 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

oh, one more thing you may want to consider when choosing a vet: the snack machine in the waiting room. before she had a cat, peggy (not her real name) was a frail 108 pounds. now she's a nice, sturdy 387 pounds. good luck with the kitty!

January 31, 2009 at 11:46 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

hey, are you blocking my comments? i had to go to a friend's computer to post! one more helpful hint i wanted to share about getting your kitty into the cage to get it to the vet. before inserting the sedative into its anus, make sure you've spread plenty of newspaper on the floor.

January 31, 2009 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

I hope you've got your catnanny hired and nannycam in place.

January 31, 2009 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger Mary Moore said...

How exciting and veritably wonderful! Have fun!!! The next post should be verrry interesting...

January 31, 2009 at 1:22 PM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Good luck today!

I'm sure you guys will pick out the puuurrrrfect kitty.

(I know that was the cheesiest ever, but I had to say it.)

January 31, 2009 at 1:42 PM  
Blogger rachael said...

Oooh have fun, kittens are wildly entertaining, warning, you may lose sleep for a while, they play all night long!

January 31, 2009 at 1:54 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

Cat's come litter trained. Their mother teaches them where to go before they are weaned, so there is no litter training!

As for cleaning the litter box, we used teh old scoop and dump method for four years before someone let us in on the secret.

There ate automated litter boxes that will scoop the waste into a plastic bucket with a lid, all you have to do is take out the full bucket and add more litter.

Very simple, and most important, very not gross and disgusting!

Google "littermaid automatic litter box"... Husbandrinka will thank you!

January 31, 2009 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

I interviewed 3 pediatricians before I had a baby. Are you telling me that no one else besides us new yorkers do this?

January 31, 2009 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger Maura said...

I love Meowrinka as a name, but I have a feeling the kids aren't going to go for that.

I second the Littermaid recommendation - it made my life easier.

Good luck, have fun tonight and share pictures soon of the new family member!

January 31, 2009 at 3:34 PM  
Blogger StatMama said...

We need Catrinka pics! (Kitrinka? Kittyrinka?)

January 31, 2009 at 4:57 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Congratulations! I hope you are playing with your new kitten(s?) right now.

I love my cat. My dogs are great, but I love my cat. She treats me just like my high school boyfriends. I seek her out to shower her with affection, which she either outright rejects (with claws) or accepts with disdain.

But at night she sleeps on my head, purrs into the corner of my eyeball, and I am under her spell. (the high school boyfriends never did this...just to clarify)

January 31, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger PinkLizzy said...

In Australia you can buy abandoned kittens from people's houses who've raised them to an adoption appropriate age (10 weeks), litter trained them, microchipped them and spayed them.
We're so lucky.
It made bringing our Midgy home brilliant. All she had to do was learn how to not scratch the children when they stuck her faces right up against hers.
My husband was sooooooooooooooo cautious about the whole "a kitten to love" idea but then guess what? HE FELL IN LOVE! Sucker.

January 31, 2009 at 5:40 PM  
Blogger SweetPeaSurry said...

he he ... cat health emergency. I love that. you can tell husbandrinka that it's unlikely the cat will have any major health problems until MUCH MUCH later in life. after one of your kids moves out and takes the cat with them.

that should elicit a HUGE sigh of relief!!

January 31, 2009 at 8:27 PM  
Blogger ms. changes pants while driving said...

i only want to say thank you for saying "fucking" in your title. i want to tell so many people that "it's just a blog already".

thank you for dropping the fuck bomb.

i love you.

back to read your post.

February 1, 2009 at 1:07 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

Ooh how fun! Hope you had a blast! We interviewed pediatricians here in Philly too - and I know they do it in DC too. Vets though? We just called the closest one and stuck with them.

February 1, 2009 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You've got some heavy hitters to go out with there lady. Oh to be an olive in the martini. The vodka. The laughter. OK I'm jealous.

I think you should interview the vets and then blog about it.

February 1, 2009 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

I'm having a backwards day, so I'm catching up on the last few days backwards...anyway - please let your husband know that the cat will NOT interupt your carefree lives at all. Cats are very resourceful...you can even go on vacation and leave them on their own for up to 2 months (not that you could afford a vacation for that long in this economy).

February 2, 2009 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

i can just smell the cat pee now.

February 2, 2009 at 10:08 PM  

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