Saturday, March 14, 2009

Week in Review

On Wednesday, I got an email from my friend Braja telling me that she was leaving for the airport in half an hour. On Friday morning, I came across the terrible news that she was in a horrifying car accident on the way to the airport. From the updates, it appears that her prognosis is positive, although she still has to undergo several surgeries, but her husband has more extensive injuries. I've been thinking of Braja all day. How lives can change in an instant. How much people that we've never met in the flesh mean to us and how fucking fragile life is. It's almost unbearable. Well, it is unbearable, but I didn't want to get all cliche on you. Please do whatever it is you do--pray, send good thoughts, have a martini, watch Rock of Love Bus. The latest update is that it will be six days before Braja is out of the ICU. I suppose it's too much to ask for the hospital to have WiFi.

* * *

Disclaimer: I never know when to start these weeks. On the one hand, I'm doing the post on Saturday, so I should start it on Friday and take it through Saturday. On the other hand, I'm actually writing the post on Friday, so maybe I should do it from last Thursday to today (Friday?) And yet (I refuse to say "on the third hand" for moral and political reasons. Don't ask. It's too painful), who can remember what happened last Thursday? So I'll start on Sunday:

Sunday: I can't remember that far back.

Monday: Young ladrinka tells me that he had "a really weird dream". I feign interest and ask him to tell me about it. "It was that my friend Psycho married his butt." "That doesn't make any sense," I break every parenting rule to raising well-nurtured children. "Yeah," he tells me, "that's because it's a dream."

Tuesday: I pick up my daughter from school and we go bathing suit shopping. For some reason, the bikinis at Old Navy have padded tops. Yes, children's bikinis. Because what 10 year old doesn't need cleavage?

Wednesday: Husbandrinka has a sore throat. Will it develop into strep? I'm on edge of seat. Also on window ledge.

Thursday: Papa stays at home with the kids while they have a piano lesson with a new teacher. "It went well," he told me. "I think the teacher is, well, the same as your friend Sandy."
"My friend Sandy? You mean the piano teacher is a dermatologist?" "No," he says and looks over to where the children are a few feet away from us. "I don't want to say the word, but I think she is like your friend Sandy. And her friend Molly." He opens his eyes extra wide and suddenly looks a lot like Ramona on Real Housewives of New York. Oh, I get it. He doesn't want to say "gay" in front of the children! I'm very tempted to keep feigning ignorance to see if I can actually get him to spell it out more without saying "gay", like "Your friend Sandy and her friend Molly, and how they perform cunnilingus on each other" because that would super fun. And not just for Sandy and Molly.

Friday: I'm writing this post! What, that's not enough? You need something else to happen on Friday? Ok, selfish. In response to my post about ruffled shirts,this was emailed to me:

So now, apparently I'm unpatriotic and an enemy of the people. I'll be preparing for my stay at Gitmo.



Blogger Deb said...

You know, the thought of being married to my butt is kind of appealing. Then I'd be the only one full of shit.

March 14, 2009 at 12:19 AM  
Blogger Formerly known as Frau said...

Prayers for Braja I hope her and her husband recover quickly. Speaking of Husband has the sore throat....was he just thristy and got confused? Mine does that! Have a great weekend!

March 14, 2009 at 2:42 AM  
Blogger Roshni said...

We are all praying for Braja and her husband.
In the meantime, my reaction to that photo is eww!!! Sometimes, she's fab but sometimes... NOT!

March 14, 2009 at 3:49 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

I told you about the ruffles, did'nt I? Like Mrs O is not going to have THE BEST stylist in Washington dressing her? Lucky for you - you have me!
From Monday (or Sunday?) I'll be telling you what to wear.
P.S. Mrs O looks fab. It's a shame she felt the need to wear the gift that Mike Tyson gave her though.

March 14, 2009 at 5:19 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

Oh - I forgot to mention. Don't worry about Gitmo. Orange is the new black.

March 14, 2009 at 5:19 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Will be praying.

As for your comments about being on "edge of seat. Also on window ledge." You should be. I have also had an ongoing sore throat recently, and I feel for Husbandrinka. We do have it tough, me and Husbandrinka...

March 14, 2009 at 5:22 AM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

It's like Queen Elizabeth the I's ruff grew legs, came to life, walked right out of her portraits, and jumped onto this shirt front. On the upside, her arms are fabulously toned, and they probably are getting a lot of notice as people strive to look anywhere but the monstrosity that is her ruffles.

More seriously, I heard about Braja yesterday too and am sending all the good thoughts I have in me.

March 14, 2009 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger Ronda's Rants said...

See...she is smaller on top...the ruffles make her appear less pear shape!
I do like the use of those ruffles better than the bright-pink-all-over-version!
I haven't a clue why I am typing this comment about ruffles this early in the morning!
On a serious note ...I will say a prayer for your friend Braja...I am sorry.

March 14, 2009 at 8:28 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Sorry about your friend, I will pray!

As far as the ruffles....even the first lady can't convince me. It's a no no.

March 14, 2009 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger LuckyMe said...

About being on the ledge when husband is sick? I get it. I'd rather be sick than hear him whining. Well, almost.

Cunnilingus...haven't heard that since I first learned it in college. Back when we thought giving blow jobs made us grown ups.

Sending my best wishes to Braja... Unbelievable.

March 14, 2009 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger LuckyMe said...

Come to think of it, I'm never sharing food or drink with anyone ever again.

March 14, 2009 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Maddness of Me said...

Oh don't get me started on the padded tops for tweens! My 10 year old Princess is still battling with me over having a padded bra.

And to prove they can't even handle it... hers was taken away after she thought it was funny to take it to school and put it in a boys locker.

Riiight. Like I didn't have nightmare after that call from the teacher.

March 14, 2009 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger derfina said...

Wow. Now I know what "fashion don't" looks like.

My heart (and prayers) go out to our friend Braja and the others involved in the accident.

March 14, 2009 at 11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my heart & prayers go out to both braja and our first lady (in that order).

March 14, 2009 at 11:45 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Yeah, I don't like it. Even on the lovely first lady.

March 14, 2009 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

PS Do they have vodka in Gitmo - seeing as we'll both be there we might as well enjoy it.

March 14, 2009 at 11:47 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Yes, I read about Braja yesterday. I only know her by her comments left on a number of blogs I follow. Her name is very pretty, so it always caught my eye. Braja, her husband, and the driver are in my thoughts.


Ha! The way you egg your dad on is too funny.

His friend Psycho married his own butt in a dream? What the hell are you feeding the kids before bedtime?! LOL!

March 14, 2009 at 12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTDT re Old Navy swimsuits. The little girls models are just miniature copies of the adult ones. Last year I had my daughter in tears when I refused to get her "the pretty one" with sexy cutouts around the sides and cleavage.

She is only 4, but this post combined with Kimberley's comments are almost enough to make me want to unbirth her. I don't have the energy for The Struggle ;-)

March 14, 2009 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

You are easily one of my favorite blogs.

That is all.

March 14, 2009 at 2:46 PM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

i just found out about Braja and will say a prayer for the three of them.

March 14, 2009 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

you're a fucking commie?

who knew.

March 14, 2009 at 5:12 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

That belt was a mistake on her.

"The thing" (I have my eyes open extra-wide) with Papa - hilarious!

March 14, 2009 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger musingwoman said...

Ruffles. It all depends on who's wearing them. Put, say, Antonio Banderas in a white ruffly shirt and, oh, baby.

March 14, 2009 at 6:06 PM  
Blogger Jeanne Estridge said...

Are you aware that you have an ad for a home laser hair removal device on your site? Somehow the words "laser," "removal" and "home" do not seem to belong in the same sentence.

March 14, 2009 at 9:02 PM  
Blogger Imogen Lamport, AICI CIP said...

Sorry to hear about Braja and her husband.

Ruffled shirts - only good for the incredibly flat chested woman who looks like a coathanger.

March 14, 2009 at 9:48 PM  
Blogger MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

My God, you're a funny one! Love your blog... and, I have to admit, ruffle shirts, especially if they make the pres of the IBTC look like she should be run out of office...

March 14, 2009 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

And I'm SO sorry to hear about your friends... I do hope they recover soon.

March 14, 2009 at 10:24 PM  
Blogger That Janie Girl said...

What was Mrs. Obama thinking when she put on that shirt?


March 14, 2009 at 10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The husband and I are dying laughing at your husband's description of Sandy and Molly!

I wanted to drop by to say thank you for your support in my Super Heavy Duty Post. I appreciate it greatly.

March 14, 2009 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Why do you hate Michelle Obama so much? She's never done a damn thing to you. Lucky for you, Gitmo is closing down.

March 14, 2009 at 11:10 PM  
Blogger Lucy Filet said...

I get you about the padded tops. Apparently all bras available in my daughter's size (she's almost 15, but she's a tiny little thing) are padded. Because everyone needs bigger boobs. Um, yeah.

March 15, 2009 at 5:00 AM  
Blogger Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I just read about Braja's accident on another blog. I was amazed at the outpouring of support for her on her blog. But, I also feel bad. Because we bloggers choose what we reveal about ourselves and how we reveal it on our blogs. When others reveal stuff about our lives for us, it becomes a different game. Ya know?

March 15, 2009 at 10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Padded tops for the pre teens? Kinda makes me glad I have a son even if I don't get to buy the cute dresses.

And fyi - I don't think Michelle pulled that top off so I might have to be your cellmate.

March 16, 2009 at 7:33 AM  
Blogger 2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I wish I had a webcam recording me reading what happened on Thursday. I love Papa.

The ruffles on the Michelle (she's a woman of the people so we can call her Michelle instead of the 'the First Lady') is eeewwww!

March 16, 2009 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ruffles are for babies, pirates and dandies. It's about fucking time someone took a stand against them.

And how is Husbandrinka? Keeping his paws to himself, I hope.

I know we already talked about it, but Rock of Love Bus was exceptionally skanky and AWESOME this week. Seriously, where do these people come from? Brett's only choices are down to Mindy (Boring!) or the Burlesque Dancer (NOT a stripper!) and, frankly, neither of them look as fun to hang with as Amber.

March 16, 2009 at 4:46 PM  

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