Week in Review
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Disclaimer: I never know when to start these weeks. On the one hand, I'm doing the post on Saturday, so I should start it on Friday and take it through Saturday. On the other hand, I'm actually writing the post on Friday, so maybe I should do it from last Thursday to today (Friday?) And yet (I refuse to say "on the third hand" for moral and political reasons. Don't ask. It's too painful), who can remember what happened last Thursday? So I'll start on Sunday:
Sunday: I can't remember that far back.
Monday: Young ladrinka tells me that he had "a really weird dream". I feign interest and ask him to tell me about it. "It was that my friend Psycho married his butt." "That doesn't make any sense," I break every parenting rule to raising well-nurtured children. "Yeah," he tells me, "that's because it's a dream."
Tuesday: I pick up my daughter from school and we go bathing suit shopping. For some reason, the bikinis at Old Navy have padded tops. Yes, children's bikinis. Because what 10 year old doesn't need cleavage?
Wednesday: Husbandrinka has a sore throat. Will it develop into strep? I'm on edge of seat. Also on window ledge.
Thursday: Papa stays at home with the kids while they have a piano lesson with a new teacher. "It went well," he told me. "I think the teacher is, well, the same as your friend Sandy."
"My friend Sandy? You mean the piano teacher is a dermatologist?" "No," he says and looks over to where the children are a few feet away from us. "I don't want to say the word, but I think she is like your friend Sandy. And her friend Molly." He opens his eyes extra wide and suddenly looks a lot like Ramona on Real Housewives of New York. Oh, I get it. He doesn't want to say "gay" in front of the children! I'm very tempted to keep feigning ignorance to see if I can actually get him to spell it out more without saying "gay", like "Your friend Sandy and her friend Molly, and how they perform cunnilingus on each other" because that would super fun. And not just for Sandy and Molly.
Friday: I'm writing this post! What, that's not enough? You need something else to happen on Friday? Ok, selfish. In response to my post about ruffled shirts,this was emailed to me:
So now, apparently I'm unpatriotic and an enemy of the people. I'll be preparing for my stay at Gitmo.
Labels: week in review