Thursday, March 12, 2009


Apparently I don't have enough problems because I got this email BREAKING NEWS ALERT from a local clothing store letting me know that ruffle blouses are all the rage in the spring and that I should get one or drop dead. I really have to question what the fuck is wrong with people.

I am no fashion icon, but this is who this type of blouse would look good on:

1. No one.
2. Ray Charles' wife, to Ray Charles.
3. Barbie.
4. Miss Understood (drag queen).

Please add your own suggestions for people who can wear this shit. I just hope that it comes with matching ruffle pants. Because that would certainly be ass enhancing.



Blogger anymommy said...

Bobo? (Circus clown.)

March 12, 2009 at 12:58 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Some dosy bimbo in a Jane Austin production?

Artsy-fartsy people in Brighton (my city) who put any rational aside and wear weird and insulting stuff so they can prance about and 'pretend' that it doesn't irritate the hell out of the rest of us?

My aunt Margery?

March 12, 2009 at 4:31 AM  
Blogger Jaywalker said...

One of those hideously ugly small dogs of the kind Paris Hilton totes around.

March 12, 2009 at 4:55 AM  
Blogger Daffodil Campbell said...

It's like some crazy-ass pirate shirt gone terribly, terribly wrong. In fact, I think there was a whole Seinfeld episode dedicated to a blouse like that.

I will say this - if someone WAS to wear that shirt, no one would notice anything else about their appearance other than that stupid, stupid shirt. So for instance, if you are concerned about your thighs, and want to draw the attention upward, man, that is the golden ticket right there.

March 12, 2009 at 4:59 AM  
Blogger Rosie Posie said...

I will bet you a gazillion dollars that designer took it from Korean fashion. I see that kind of crap here all the time. They love ruffles, lace, bows, ribbons... really anything to make them not look like a pencil. I'm a very short... curvy girl and I have a hell of a time finding clothes built for people with an ass or who generally aren't a skinny little waif.

But if you want butt pads so that you look like you have my ass, I know where you can get that too.

March 12, 2009 at 5:54 AM  
Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Bernie Madoff.

March 12, 2009 at 7:03 AM  
Blogger iMommy said...

1. One of those people who works at those historical villages
2. An Amish fashionista, but make the shirt dirt-brown or calico
3. Yo' momma-in-law!

(jk! I'm sure Motherinka-in-law has great fashion sense.)

March 12, 2009 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger The Mind of a Mom said...

RuPaul as he is Drag Racing right off my tv! They really will give anyone a reality show won't they?!?!

March 12, 2009 at 8:05 AM  
Blogger michelle said...

My 5 year old, along with my high heels and too much lipstick.

March 12, 2009 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Nyxmyst said...

Wow.. I always wanted a shirt that would make me look twice as fat as I already am. Woot.

Person who could wear it? Those starving waifs on those commercials? Though then they'd look fat and no one would send money...

March 12, 2009 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

My husband for Halloween...after he lost a bet!

March 12, 2009 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Stranded in Stepford said...

How about people who are intersted in shoplifting very small things? I bet you could tuck an entire set of jacks between those ruffles. . .

March 12, 2009 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

How about Pamela Anderson, she can make anything look good.

March 12, 2009 at 8:46 AM  
Blogger The Panic Room said...

it looks like she is wearing a carnation. And we all know how low rent a carnation is.

March 12, 2009 at 9:00 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

The lady on the local newscast wore a similar shirt the other day, all I could think was, why did no one tell her that she looks like a freaking clown?

March 12, 2009 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger WA said...

You mean I need to go change my outfit right now? Damn.

March 12, 2009 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Why didn't I call this post "don't Ruffle me"? Well, except for the fact that it doesn't make any sense.

March 12, 2009 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Damn. I just ordered one and selected overnight shipping. ;o)

March 12, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Joanie said...

Flamenco dancers?

March 12, 2009 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Well I'm the token dissenter - or freak - today.

I like it. It would look pretty OK on me. And no ruffle pants you silly! You wear it with a dark skirt or pants that are slim cut and simple, for balance. It's pretty.

I got the same YOU NEED RUFFLES! thing this morning. I bought it hook-line-&-sinker.

March 12, 2009 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Ronda's Rants said...

OMG so funny!!!
I think women such as myself with giant butts and smaller chest area might...I said might benefit from ruffled blouse but it would be at the risk of being confused with a Circus Clown!

March 12, 2009 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

I wouldn't go near a woman in clothing like that in these times. There's just no way of knowing what she might have hidden in there. Unstable (who else would wear that) + shiv hidden in blouse = Maelstrom getting stabbed.

March 12, 2009 at 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Kristy said...

You don't love this shirt?? I do! Where can I get it?? ;)

March 12, 2009 at 10:13 AM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

It would make the perfect flower costume for the school play.

March 12, 2009 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Not sure, but Ray Charles being dead may make that reference funnier. Or not. Contemplating ... ;-)

March 12, 2009 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think I remember Simon Le Bon wearing one of these except his was white. I thought the 80's clothing was so last year.

March 12, 2009 at 11:32 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

Your followers are such sycophants! I have one of those blouses in every colour.
And p.s - I look fabulous in them.

March 12, 2009 at 11:45 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

BTW - Amy with the smelly breath is not a sycophant.

March 12, 2009 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

All all the more afraid of you now Belle.

March 12, 2009 at 11:52 AM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

Maybe I need to wear a ruffled shirt myself as protection. I'll just pretend I'm a pirate and carry a sign that says "Do not stab".

March 12, 2009 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Belle--if my followers, who agree with every word I say because (duh!)that's my comment policy, or I, who also agree with every word the people who comment on my blog say because (duh!) I'm worried that they'll stop following me if I don't, had the energy to look up "sycophant", I'm sure we'd be outraged. Unless of course we were so exhausted by the act of looking up the word that we needed an emergency nap and possibly a snack. And a drink never hurt anyone. Except alcoholics. And people with cirrhosis.

So I'm just going to assume that sycophant is psychotic elephant. In which case, I am outraged/exhausted.

March 12, 2009 at 12:08 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i would like to point out that this is a sleeveless number. so you are all in imminent danger that michelle obama might take a shining to it, and they you will all be fucked.

March 12, 2009 at 12:12 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I think we're missing the boat. If we all wore clothes with 10 feet of ruffle, you would never know where your belly fat stopped and the fabric ruffle began. Basically, we could all claim to be skinny, just in a ruffle shirt. Now, what store was that and do they sell online?

March 12, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I think we're missing the boat. If we all wore clothes with 10 feet of ruffle, you would never know where your belly fat stopped and the fabric ruffle began. Basically, we could all claim to be skinny, just in a ruffle shirt. Now, what store was that and do they sell online?

March 12, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Trenches of Mommyhood said... 'bout a pirate?

March 12, 2009 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

If it'll make my boobs look bigger, I'd suffer the humiliation and wear it proud!

March 12, 2009 at 12:17 PM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Someone out with Jerry in the episode about the pirate shirt.

I have something for you on my blog...

March 12, 2009 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger Louisa said...

This would make a great gift for someone who you really don't like's daughter if you know her mom has to do all the ironing in the house.

March 12, 2009 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

Only someone with OCD would try to iron that blou... hey, that IS a good idea..

March 12, 2009 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

That is a lot of blouse. You have to be a six foot model to pull that off. And you'd still look fat.

March 12, 2009 at 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about pregnant women?

It would draw attention upward.

March 12, 2009 at 2:25 PM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

I think Antonio Banderas wore one in some movie. It may even have been pink.

I have some pink paint and some toilet paper. I might make myself one of these this afternoon. To hide my belly fat.

March 12, 2009 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger miss bridget said...

Marinka - I love your posts, no matter what kind of shitty day I've had they make me laugh. And you're right these shirts are a pile of crap. The only people who could get away with them are women who are six feet tall, skinny and probably spend hours doing their hair before they leave the house. Those kind of women I can do without!

March 12, 2009 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger Miss Em said...

Well at least they make your boobs like bigger.

And if you could find a yellow one, you could totally pass yourself off as Big Bird.

March 12, 2009 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger SSQuo said...

Lessen the ruffles
Bleach the damn thing
Add sleeves

Then you may have one!

March 12, 2009 at 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Lish said...

A vase.

March 12, 2009 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

You are so wrong my friend...I think that shirt would look fantastic with my Carmen Miranda headress.

Seriously though - I do like a little ruffle - but that shirt would be a hard one to pull off...

March 12, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger A Woman Of No Importance said...

'Twould keep the cat basket all cosy!

March 12, 2009 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger TMCPhoto said...

My two year old just before she eats a big bowl of something that is sure to be dribbled down the front, yogurt or ketchup for instance....

March 12, 2009 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Women without tits - to hide the fact they don't have them.

Also? I need ruffled pants to hide the fact I have a flat ass. Please mail me a pair. In Alabama, it'll be 10 years before the current fashion gets here.

March 12, 2009 at 8:40 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

That woman Mimi from the Drew Carey show? I mean it can't make her look worse, right?

March 12, 2009 at 11:19 PM  
Blogger Summer said...

Great,everyone's participating here friend.Maybe i would go with K,those pregnant woman can wear those ruffled blouse.;D
Nice post,have a nice day.

March 12, 2009 at 11:34 PM  
Blogger ella said...

women with no boobs who are preferably under 10.

March 13, 2009 at 12:57 AM  
Blogger Nanny Goats In Panties said...

LOL! All I can do is wholeheartedly agree with your #1 idea and leave.


March 13, 2009 at 1:16 AM  
Blogger Threeboys1mommy said...

but I don't want to be a pirate!

March 13, 2009 at 1:16 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

Barry Manilow, Tony Orlando, George Clooney b/c he looks good in EVERYTHING.

March 13, 2009 at 1:24 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

Hilarious! Liberace would have looked good in this... Or perhaps a vampire...

March 13, 2009 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

apparently people who like to ruffle or be ruffled!

March 13, 2009 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

One word: Charo.

March 13, 2009 at 6:24 PM  
Anonymous Miss Understood said...

Well I don't actually own anything like that but yeah, I guess you are right, I certainly would wear it.

March 13, 2009 at 11:53 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Gay pirate?

March 14, 2009 at 9:00 PM  
Blogger Phat Mama said...

Think of the poor big breasted women wearing five inches of ruffles. They would smother in chiffon.

March 15, 2009 at 1:57 PM  

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