Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Update from Vacation

So far, our vacation is awesome, mainly because when we came over on the ferry Saturday afternoon, we did not die. I see that as a big plus. On Friday, the ferry people told us that the service would be canceled on Saturday because of Hurricane Bob but then they decided to reschedule Hurricane Bob and we were able to go after all. Except the waves were super rough and the ride was very WHEEE! for the kids and very Titanic for me. (By the way, I mean Titanic just in the ship sinking and all of us dying way, not the Celine Dion soundtrack way. No need to be melodramatic.)

I was totally panicked. I called Husbandrinka on his cell, because while I was on the bottom deck converting to Islam and Christianity just to have all the major ones covered, he was at the top deck with the kids, taking in the sun.

"I'm super panicked!" I told him when he picked up the phone, sounding a little too cheerful.
"About what?" he asked.
"Oh you know, the polar bears. We are destroying the ice caps--WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ABOUT WHAT? About drowning to death!"
"Why don't you come up here?" he suggested, "You'll be higher up and further away from the water. Increased chances of survival."

See? This is why despite his multiple documented personality flaws, I love this man. He's always thinking of ways to prolong my life.
So I gather my things- and as start to head upstairs, I decide to seek solace from a young Adonis who happens to be wearing an official Ferry t-shirt. Surely, he's a seasoned seaman and will be able to reassure me.

"Excuse me," I approached him. "The water seems very rough and I am quite nervous. Are these normal conditions?"

And he says, "no, these are not normal conditions. It's rough because there's a hurricane." Which is not super-reassuring. But I decide to give him another chance to redeem himself and reassure me.
So I say, "haha, perhaps we should put on our lifejackets now!" hoping that he would say, "are you crazy, lass? There's absolutely no need!" Because for some reason he's now Irish, and hopefully carrying a bottle of Glenlivet or at least a few pints of Guiness. But instead he says, "not yet. we'll let you know when it's time to put them on" I don't know why they let these anti-semites on board, when they are obviously not trained to handle people in the early stages of a nervous breakdown.

So I crawl upstairs and when I see Husbandrinka and the kids, I am instantly cheered. Because right behind them are a whole bunch of lifeboats, so I feel like I am in excellent company.

And the kids are adorable, all "this is so much fun!" way that people who do not understand that we are on the brink of death often are and Husbandrinka says, "the ferry isn't crowded at all, usually it's packed" and I say, "they probably want to keep the death toll down" which seems like a normal conversational comment and he's all "would you stop being so dramatic" and I'm all, "this could be my final act!" and he may have rolled his eyes, but I can't be sure because I only see the good in people.

But a few measly kazillion minutes later, we docked safely and our vacation began in earnest. I don't mean to be all teaser-y and all, but I swear, I have like three years' worth of blog fodder from this trip already. So if you're low on blog posts, why not consider inviting my family along on your next vacation. Email your proposed destinations to me. You should totally hurry, because I'm sure we'll be in high demand.

And the only place that I've been able to get WiFi on the island is at a local bakery so obviously, God wants me to eat danishes.

Oh, and check out who's guest posting for me at The Mouthy Housewives today. It's a can't miss!

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Blogger Mwa said...

Glad you survived. I once got charged for a starter only after ordering a three course meal on board a ferry, because I puked up the starter into a bag and then gave it to the waiter. That was in a mere storm, nowhere near a hurricane.

August 25, 2009 at 1:54 AM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

you could rent your family out and quit your job.

August 25, 2009 at 3:13 AM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

Glad you made it onto the island. Hope the hurricane bypasses your island. BTW. We are going to an indoor water park in September.

August 25, 2009 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

I find any blog post, or sentence, really, that begins with the notion that "we didn't die" to be comforting as all hell.

August 25, 2009 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

You are so funny I don't even know what to say. I cant' wait to hear more about the trip!

August 25, 2009 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

You are such a drama queen! But that's what makes you funny! LOL!

August 25, 2009 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I was on a ferry boat like that once. I don't think I breathed the whole time, I sat on a bench and gripped the seat for dear life. It wasn't fun. But, I survived, yay! and then I had a fabulous time on Martha's Vineyard so it was all worth it ;)

August 25, 2009 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

I rode the ferry to Port Jefferson with my beau, a former Navy man. It's like traveling with an encyclopedia. Not romantic.

August 25, 2009 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger Your escalator operator said...

Definitely best post of the month.

I was on a cruise last month and every single time I wacked past the deck chairs I thought of the phrase "like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic," which was really not the most comforting thought.

August 25, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

Ferries are always a crap shoot of pleasantness (which is a nice way of saying they usually suck). But I hope the bakery is making up for it!

August 25, 2009 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger CSY said...

Of COURSE God wants you to eat danishes! Eat and blog...

Have fun on vacation!!!

August 25, 2009 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Next vacay is a cruise. You in?

August 25, 2009 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Uh, isn't it Hurricane Bill? And I totally giggled when I saw the word "seaman".

August 25, 2009 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

i was just lamenting that i have NO blog fodder on my nc beach vacation thus far. sounds like you have more than your share. glad you survived the ferry of doom.

August 25, 2009 at 6:19 PM  
Blogger BellaG said...

Did you change the name of the Hurricane to protect the guilty?

August 25, 2009 at 6:22 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Pleeze sign me up for your next trip!! I'm SO interested in noting down all the pearls of wisdom that fall from your collective lips!!

August 25, 2009 at 7:49 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

You only see the good in people? How could I have missed that? Probably because I am not cursed with that trait.

August 25, 2009 at 9:13 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

polar bears. heh.

August 25, 2009 at 10:24 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Thank god you lived to eat those danishes.

August 25, 2009 at 11:42 PM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

I'm so glad you didn't die. And maybe you should go ahead and suit up and don the life jacket on the boat ride back.

August 26, 2009 at 4:44 PM  
Blogger HappyHourSue said...

OMG I was leaving Block Island on the Friday afternoon boat!!!! And even i was eying the clouds nervously and willing the trees to stop rustling. I am PANICKED about rough ferry crossings. I am totally with you. I sat right next to the life boats wondering how the hell to untie them.

August 26, 2009 at 6:40 PM  
Blogger Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

That's why you didn't die. You were meant to enjoy freshly baked items while blogging. They are a great source of inspiration. Holy crap, I could use some too.

August 27, 2009 at 11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so envious you are vacationing on Block Island. Growing up a Rhode Islander, I headed out there several times a summer (my Dad and grandfather both had boats).

Now I live in Texas. That about sums it up.

August 28, 2009 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

God is clearly not an anti-semite, too bad he's anti-Danish. That really sucks for the Danes.

August 29, 2009 at 11:32 PM  

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