Things That I Worry Will Happen While I am on Vacation
(except for death and destruction, because, duh).
We are going away on vacation next week and I have some worries.
1. There will be no internet access at the house that we are renting. And a murderer in the basement.
2. The vacation books that I picked to take with me will suck and I will spend the week kicking sand at myself because I just had to read Stefanie Wilder-Taylor It's Not Me, It's You as soon as I got it and now I've already read it and don't have it to look forward to and Stefanie seems to be one of those self-centered writers and is refusing to produce another book for my vacation.
3. My kids. If you have children, I hope that this category is self-explanatory and encompasses everything from "Are we there yeeeet???" to "she started it" to "I'm bored". I love and adore my kids, but sweet lord, I had to beg them to go to a special breakfast for kids at Times Square this week. At Toys R Us. Because, they told me, they would rather have breakfast at Nintendo World. Yes, Your Majesties. So noted.
4. It will rain the entire time and our beach vacation will be ruined.
5. It will not rain at all and I'll get totally beached-out.
6. It will rain some days and not others and I will become confused.
7. You know how when you're on vacation, you don't really remember what day it is today? I HATE THAT.
8. OMG, is today Saturday? Because I'm late for my vacation!
9. We will miss Nicki/realize how much easier our lives are without her.
9a. Home Alone Nicki will get stolen/Home Alone Nicki will not get stolen.
10. When I come back, my vacation will be over. Yes, I suffer from a very rare condition called Post Vacation Depression Syndrome (PVDS). Although many suffer from PVDS, I suffer from anticipatory PVDS, which is a lot more dangerous. Because as I tell people about it, while packing a bathing suit and a bottle of rum, they become mildly to mediumly homicidal.
We are going away on vacation next week and I have some worries.
1. There will be no internet access at the house that we are renting. And a murderer in the basement.
2. The vacation books that I picked to take with me will suck and I will spend the week kicking sand at myself because I just had to read Stefanie Wilder-Taylor It's Not Me, It's You as soon as I got it and now I've already read it and don't have it to look forward to and Stefanie seems to be one of those self-centered writers and is refusing to produce another book for my vacation.
3. My kids. If you have children, I hope that this category is self-explanatory and encompasses everything from "Are we there yeeeet???" to "she started it" to "I'm bored". I love and adore my kids, but sweet lord, I had to beg them to go to a special breakfast for kids at Times Square this week. At Toys R Us. Because, they told me, they would rather have breakfast at Nintendo World. Yes, Your Majesties. So noted.
4. It will rain the entire time and our beach vacation will be ruined.
5. It will not rain at all and I'll get totally beached-out.
6. It will rain some days and not others and I will become confused.
7. You know how when you're on vacation, you don't really remember what day it is today? I HATE THAT.
8. OMG, is today Saturday? Because I'm late for my vacation!
9. We will miss Nicki/realize how much easier our lives are without her.
9a. Home Alone Nicki will get stolen/Home Alone Nicki will not get stolen.
10. When I come back, my vacation will be over. Yes, I suffer from a very rare condition called Post Vacation Depression Syndrome (PVDS). Although many suffer from PVDS, I suffer from anticipatory PVDS, which is a lot more dangerous. Because as I tell people about it, while packing a bathing suit and a bottle of rum, they become mildly to mediumly homicidal.
posted by Marinka at
7:54 AM
26 Comments:
#11 What am I supposed to read when you're not around? I guess I could read Stefanie-Wilder Taylor, but her cover picture scares me in the way that it reminds me that they used to make lampshades out of people in Auschwitz. You on vacation=Auschwitz.
No need to explain the kids. I get it. I feel for you. Dope your up with a many electronical devices you can and when they fuss, threaten to throw the batteries out the window.
Works everytime.
If you get a Kindle then that solves your book dilemna. If what you are reading sucks, just wifi another one to the device. Not to mention, all those newspapers that can be bought via the Kindle
I love mine, and if you don't have one then you are an animal.
ps: and I'm commenting via my iPhone right now. Internet all the time anywhere I go baby. There is even an iPhone app for blogging if I wanted to keep up with that sort of thing.
I also suffer from acute PVDS.
AAAAnd i'm there with Vicky. So Vicky, I hope you're not going away too. What with Wendi being away, how will I be able to withstand a week and a half more of baby-being-at-home? huh?
What? I always post when I'm on vacation. It's "vacation", not "detention".
I can come and steal Nicki for you if you want!
lol....wifi at the beach house IS a real concern!!
You forgot a few things. Like, what if I left the garage door open and people come in and steal the vacuum. What? It's a valid concern.
I hope you have a blast next week. Don't worry the Internet will mourn your absence appropriately.
(Party at Marinkas crib people. Loads of booze.)
The murderer in the basement thing would really be a bummer.
I too, suffer from post vacation depression. If you find a solution, let me know.
And enjoy!
Very clever, starting your depression early. That will teach those vacations!
If you anticipate the post vacation depression, do you not actually get it? Hmm...
Vacation again? And you didn't ask me to housesit for you. I thought we were friends.
We go to the beach tomorrow a.m., too. I am not ready at all, which is why I'm reading your blog and not packing. If you are going to NC, look for me. I'll be the one in the big hat and turtleneck rash guard.
ok.. so.. have a great vacation!
Um, you're not allowed to go on vacation. Your readers took a vote.
Mediumly.
So, English, first language, no?
I say we vote that word into the dictionary. How does one go about doing that?
Have fun on your vacation, dear!
Bossy sees you've successfully attended her well attended class: Worrywart 101.
Hello, aren't you worried about us? Your beloved readers? Who will get bored without you and then totally abandon you because you went on vacation and we found other stuff to read while you were gone? And also 'cause we were jealous because we skipped a summer vacation this year and did an overseas move instead? (Yeah, ok, that was just me.)
Seriously, you are not worried about that? Good. 'cause I'm just messing with you ;-) Have a wonderful time, we'll be here when you get back.
Nothing motivates me to clean my house like going on vacation. You know, just in case something "happens", I can't have people coming to my house to mourn me, realize what a true slob I am, and change what they'd say at my funeral. What? Eulogies aren't about how clean a person's house was?
Ah, Andrea knows you well, that was subtle, now you'll worry about the state of your house, in case you die on vacation and all the blood settles...
wait never mind we've covered that
Have a great time. Don't worry!
I suffer from anticipatory PVDS, which is a lot more dangerous. Because as I tell people about it, while packing a bathing suit and a bottle of rum, they become mildly to mediumly homicidal.
Funniest sentence I've read today! :D
PVDS - how long does that last? Mine has lasted since last October.
You're going to miss me. That should be your #1 concern.
To get us kids to behave in the car, my mom used to threaten to sell us to some horrid looking driver in the lane next to us or to the fat lady in the van with 12 kids. That shut us up real good.
then there is the "omg, I can't afford to go on vacation" worry, oh that is just me I think
WOW!!! You live in New York AND go on vacation? I thought NYC WAS a vacation...
Have fun! Don't forget the sunscreen1 I have SFP 50 Million if need be...I live in FL...am blonde and DON'T tan!
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