Monday, August 17, 2009

Real Estate

Recently, my father and I were discussing real estate. Like if Husbandrinka and I ever moved out of the city, where would we go.

The good thing about discussing things with my father is that he will give you a perspective that you have never before considered. Unless you're on mind altering medication.

"Here is how you judge neighborhood," he says. "Go, look. Nice park? Good schools? See neighbors. Then ask 'do I want my daughter pregnant with their sperm?'"

My daughter is 11 years old.

I am moving to Mars. Because intergalactic babies are the adorablest.

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26 Comments:

Blogger Kimberly said...

ha. That is so totally so
totally something my gypsie dad would say.

August 17, 2009 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Miss Britt said...

I'm pretty sure how my mom ended up moving us to Parkersburg, Iowa.

Lucky for me, they have good sperm there.

August 17, 2009 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Momo Fali said...

Your father is wrong. No one cares about schools and parks if the sperm is good.

August 17, 2009 at 6:10 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

It's their adorable, giant eyes that really make me love alien babies.

August 17, 2009 at 7:54 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

Oh you and your family are all hysterical. At first glance I thought your dad was asking himself that question about you! HAHA.

Yes, Mars is the best for baby cuteness, for sure.

August 17, 2009 at 7:56 PM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

BlogHer was worth the price of admition, since I can now see you doing this imitation in my mind...

Time for my nightly "think of Marinka"

toodles.

August 17, 2009 at 8:01 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

Wow. Suprised sperm cam third.

August 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

When you didn't have a post up earlier today, I almost texted "where r u?" Now I know. You were out evaluating potential new neighborhoods on the basis of their sperm donation desirability.

A perfectly reasonable and useful way to spend a Monday morning, obviously.

August 17, 2009 at 8:53 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Your father should totally have a blog.

August 17, 2009 at 9:34 PM  
Blogger Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Your father should be on Oprah the next time she does a teen sex show. He's a genius.

August 17, 2009 at 9:48 PM  
Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Smart man. But he forgot to mention checking out the FedEx man and other delivery guys that service that route. Do they resemble my husband enough that I could pass off his baby as my spouse's child?

This is important shit.

August 17, 2009 at 9:50 PM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

It's always about the sperm, isn't it?

August 17, 2009 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Your Dad is hilarious, even when I have to imagine the accent.

August 18, 2009 at 12:34 AM  
Blogger Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Actually, your Dad's perspective sounds very efficient. Like how you seemed to pick Mars so quickly after he said that. You could have agonized over it for months.

August 18, 2009 at 2:20 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Seriously? You want grandkids with no eyelids or noses?

August 18, 2009 at 5:33 AM  
Blogger Kabbalah Rookie said...

Have you checked out Mars yet? Hmm.. not sure of the quality of sperm there.. and everyone knows that Martians are green. Now Venus... they sow good seed on Venus...

August 18, 2009 at 6:32 AM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

I would love to get our fathers together for a play date one day in Central Park. That would be all kinds of awesome.

August 18, 2009 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger CK Lunchbox said...

My real estate agent said roughly the same thing. When we drove into one neighborhood there was a couple teenage girls walking in the cul-de-sac to which he added, "This looks like a great place."

August 18, 2009 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger ♥ Braja said...

He has a point.
And wisdom.
And good drugs...

August 18, 2009 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Well shit! Why didn't you share that advice before!? It's probably too late for my daughter now.... :o)

August 18, 2009 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger That one girl said...

Very informational since we are looking at houses and THANK GOD I have a son.

Wow.

August 18, 2009 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

Your dad is hilarious! And I think he's got a point. Which is why, when my oldest turns 13, I will move to the middle of the countryside, right next door to a convent. It might kill me, but at least I won't have to put a microchip in her neck.

August 18, 2009 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

How much do you suppose convents are on Mars?

August 18, 2009 at 3:24 PM  
Blogger Mwa said...

GREAT advice. He should go into real estate.

August 18, 2009 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

He hit all the most important factors to consider. I'm going to remember that next time we move.

August 20, 2009 at 12:32 AM  
Blogger Mama Coyote said...

Ahhh, fathers...

August 22, 2009 at 6:46 PM  

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