Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Vacation Math Redux. To the Second Higher Power

So you may remember that earlier this summer I had this great idea that my kids would work on their math every single day and that twenty seconds later I had to give up that dream.

Except a few days ago, when Young Ladrinka was taking off his pants to count to eleven, Husbandrinka said "whatever happened to your math plans with the kids?" I'll be honest. There was a tinge of judgmentalness in his question, with an accent on the "mental".

So I mumbled something along the lines of "oh yeah, I'm on it" or some other huge lie, and then I had a great idea. My kids were going to the dacha this week with mama and papa, so I'd throw in the math books in for educational fun for everyone,and a whole shitload of birds are killed with one mathematical stone and my evenings are freed up to catch up on Real Housewives of Atlanta. By the way, why don't they dub that shit? I'm not fluent in Southernese.

Mama and papa heard my idea and applauded my wisdom and initiative and everything was going honky dory when suddenly mama called me with alarming news.

It turns out that at the morning's math session, Young Ladrinka explained to mama that he is "not interested in math right now"; that for him, school was a "waste of time" and that he and his co-defendants, I mean, friends, consider school "boring" and just want to "hang out together."

So here's my question: How come we all know from previous encounters with mama that this is like waving a huge, red flag in front of her, a flag that reads: LECTURE ME ON THE MERITS OF EDUCATION AND THE DANGERS OF LACK OF EDUCATION and Young Ladrinka has no idea? I mean, should I be concerned?

Of course, I'm sure NOW he knows not to say anything so provocative to my mother, because she told me that after she explained the road that lay ahead of him if he did not practice math and pay attention at school, a road paved with unemployment, poverty and limited Wii access, Young Ladrinka sobered up and said "I'll have to tell my friends about this, so that they pay better attention in school."

Let me know if you'd like to send your kids to spend a week with mama. You'll be amazed at the results. Reasonable rates.

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Blogger Vicki said...

I'm glad mama is whipping him into shape. I'm happy that our floundering economy will rest squarely on Ladrinka's shoulders filled with math knowledge in a couple of short years.

If all else fails, there's always another option:

August 12, 2009 at 8:30 AM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

You know, Marinka. I'm really trying not to read blogs, and your genius is a very annoying distraction.

August 12, 2009 at 10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aren't grandmothers awesome? (most of the time)

August 12, 2009 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Sumana said...

I wish I had a mama....for my 7yr old.can you send her to orange cou nty??

August 12, 2009 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

I love that she (or you) threw in limited wii access to the equation - I bet that was the sinker!

August 12, 2009 at 2:15 PM  

What an excellent idea. Maybe she can do videos and sell them.

August 12, 2009 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger Kabbalah Rookie said...

I think Mama should be teaching this stuff in parenting classes. She certainly knows how to keep her threats up to date.
I don't have any kids, but if I did, I'd send them to your mother. How far in advance does she take bookings?

August 12, 2009 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger skiplovey said...

In the lecture, be sure to mention "living in a van, down by the river".

August 12, 2009 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Mwa said...

Holiday math at the dacha. Bet the friends will want to hear about that, too. Very clever solution you thought up there.

August 12, 2009 at 8:11 PM  
Blogger Mwa said...

Holiday math at the dacha. Bet the friends will want to hear about that, too. Very clever solution you thought up there.

August 12, 2009 at 8:11 PM  
Blogger Elenka said...

Yes, I have a 23 year old I'd like to send to her, pronto.

August 12, 2009 at 8:12 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

You could charge a small fortune to have Mama whip kids into shape about the importance of school. And if you have Young Ladrinka count and do other calculations with the money, you will two birds with one stone. Well, three actually, assuming you make some nice spa appointments with all that money.

August 12, 2009 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Yeah, I'd like to send her my 15 year old daughter. Someone better whip her into shape!

August 12, 2009 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

Uh oh! As soon as I read your title I remembered that I was supposed to be doing a summer work packet with Katie this summer. Oops. I guess we better start that tomorrow.

August 12, 2009 at 10:33 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

It's too bad I didn't have the chance to meet your mother when I was in school. My apathetic attitude toward math very nearly ruined my life (or at the very least - it wasted hundreds of my parents hard earned dollars on tutors who only got about 25% of my attention during our sessions).

August 12, 2009 at 11:10 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Where do I sign?

August 12, 2009 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

I'm not sure where summer has gone. I was going to teach my five year old to read. And my seven year old to spell. My three year old did potty train, but actually my participation in that was purely incidental.

I think I need Mama here. Full time, please.

August 13, 2009 at 1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I fancy the 'get your ass in school because you'll wind up dumb' approach myself. It works well and to further solidify that I am a genius with parenting I toss in the 'if you don't get out of college with a great job you will have to live at home. with me. eating organic spaghetti squash.'

August 13, 2009 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger Sheila said...

check it out.

August 13, 2009 at 8:34 PM  

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