Friday, August 14, 2009

I am Feeling Better

After relaxing on my death bed for a good part of yesterday, I am feeling so much better. Thank you everyone for your "get well wishes" , except no thank you to the terrible people who asked me if I were pregnant. Especially John. Yesterday, after I regained my strength, John and I went to our favorite Polish restaurant, Neptune, in the East Village. They don't even have a website, but that's because they are really busy making delicious fried dumplings. They are delicious and I think cure most ailments.

Except it took like forever to get our order and because I am very impatient when starving, I started to whine and John had to take out his iPhone to entertain me, much like you would a cranky four year old. He showed me the doodle feature and then drew pictures of food, and I had to guess what it was. It was a drumstick. I got it right immediately because he's like the Van Gogh of drumstick art.

The wait was excruciating, and when I got home, I saw that I was in good company in being upset about the wait. In good and perfectly normal company. These are my people:

click on image to enlarge. Trust me, you don't want to miss one word of this.

What the fuck are zig zags and why does he go through them so often? But I love the "fruit-less and meal-less" line.

oh, but it gets better:

but at least there are some pros:

I know that this is what some in the restaurant industry might call a "negative" review, but that description of the cups as "old and mysterious" has me intrigued. And even he admits that the potatoes are really good! Good enough to put up with the busy Gestapo waitresses. Which makes me think that if the Gestapo ever wanted to improve their image, they just need to get a few fantastic potato recipes.

Anyway. And Awkward Transition.

Don't forget to check out The Mouthy Housewives today. I am dispensing advice like it's Xanax, based on my personal bedroom antics with Husbandrinka.



Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

I'm ok with the reviewer calling the waitress "Gestapo" but I draw the line at "hefty." Hefty is just mean.

August 14, 2009 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

I think what concerns me more than the angsty haikus about this place which I am now hesitant to visit even though I will probably never be in the area is the fact that you have three Firefox windows open when Firefox has tabs and stuff. But that's probably just because I am a nerd and tabbing Firefox windows is my idea of a sensory experience equivalent to a walk in the park on a drowsy June evening.

August 14, 2009 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

So, let me see if I am reading Vicki's comment correctly: "Marinka, you are a moron." Although a walk in the park on a drowsy June evening doesn't sound so hot, either. (Hot as in great, not temperature-wise)

August 14, 2009 at 10:05 AM  
Blogger Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Okay, "hefty" was definitely mean, but the guy just wanted a 2nd cup of freaking coffee!
That waitress would definitely scare me away, altho the dumplings sound good.
And if you are dispensing free advice "like Xanax," why not just forgo the advice and dispense the Xanax?

August 14, 2009 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger Anna See said...

I'm too much of a wimp to go to that restaurant, mysterious cups or otherwise.

August 14, 2009 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Glad you're feeling better, Marinka. Jeez, what a review! I'd still go to try the fried dumplings since they cure swine flu.

August 14, 2009 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

My bad. Not that you have swine flu or anything.

August 14, 2009 at 11:04 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Um, um ... since the fried dumplings cure colds. Yeah, that's it. The common cold.

August 14, 2009 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Vicki said...

I wouldn't say moron. I would just say, tabs are easier! :) More tabs=more multitasking=more time to watch the Real Housewives of Where The Hell Will They Pick Next?

August 14, 2009 at 11:56 AM  

Funky or thin tin silverware are something I can't stand when eating. A nasty waitress will get NO tip from me AT ALL. I would complain to the owner and/or manager. That is ridiculous. Who has enough business these days to treat customers like crap.

August 14, 2009 at 1:04 PM  


Why is your comment section no longer allowing me to put in my email and web? It is defaulting to google only with my old blogger address.

August 14, 2009 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Life with Kaishon said...

Hi, I am just popping over from Amy's blog. It's a good thing you are better in time for the weekend : ) And way to go guessing drumstick! How smart at doodle art are you? You are very funny! Even the little blurb above the comment section. I can't stop laughing : )

August 14, 2009 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Nicole Flemister said...

Zig Zags are rolling papers. He is a Pot Head.

August 14, 2009 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger blognut said...

I love obnoxious waitresses - they are great entertainment and I give that obnoxious shit as good as I get it!

August 14, 2009 at 4:41 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Marinka, I am now getting sick too. You infected me via email. Please go tolerate Gestapo waitress and mail me fried dumplings.

August 14, 2009 at 9:08 PM  
Blogger Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

My favorite part of this is that the guy keeps going back. Kinda brilliant. Maybe all the pot is causing him to forget his recent single re-fill tragedies...

August 14, 2009 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Zig zags are rolling papers! I never know these things!

Thanks to Nicole.

This guy has a lot of time on his hands, clearly. And he's HIGH.

August 14, 2009 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

I am so relieved you are feeling better. I was worried sick about you.

August 14, 2009 at 11:53 PM  
Blogger Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

Wow. That's quite a rant if I ever saw one. People get downright cranky without coffee. Maybe he's one of those people who get constipated without his coffee. It sure sounds like it.

August 15, 2009 at 2:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol, that would be the best review ever if it weren't for the awkward line breaks...

August 15, 2009 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Kari said...

I just want to is "closeness" a pro? Is he talking about proximity to his home, or to other patrons - and he likes that?

August 16, 2009 at 2:01 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

and the guy kept going back like what ? he wasnt sure they sucked the first two times? It takes more than good potatoes to get me in the door.

August 16, 2009 at 2:53 PM  

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