Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Weather

The other day, my mama went to pick up the kids from school because I had an important appointment, which is also known as a massage.  Everything went well, except when I came home she told me that my daughter was at school N'AKED ALL DAY. This is obviously alarming, because I'm one of those parents who doesn't approve of nudity in the schools, but then after a half second, I realize that mama is exaggerating and that she doesn't mean that my daughter was literally n'aked (and I'm spelling it like that because I'm sick of perverts coming here by googling various grossness, and I'm sure they're really disappointed as well, so this is like a public service, except for people who like words written properly). 

Anyway, I realize that what mama means is that my daughter wasn't dressed appropriately for the weather, because she was wearing a t-shirt and capri-like pants and she may as well have been n'aked.

The weather conversation with mama is one of my least favorite ever because she suffers from  Unorthodox Weather Beliefs, such as:

1. 60 degrees in the spring is colder than 60 degrees in the summer. Because the sun is just warming up.
2. If a girl sits on a rock, she will be infertile because she will freeze her ..er... uterus? fallopian tube? (note to self: ask mama if this applies only to girls with protruding fallopian tubes).

This would explain why I spent summers as a child dressed like this:

Tights. Summer. Me. I'm pretty sure my expression says it all.


Blogger Roshni said...

Hey! It looks like you only have a shirt on! I thought you were like that to prove your mother wrong years later!!

Good idea about n'aked! Need to convert some words at my site..

April 28, 2009 at 12:28 AM  
Blogger kimberly said...

#1,392 reason I love my mother - her adoption of the phrase "her pride will keep her warm" that the grandmother that raised her would say as she went out in the rural Nova Scotia days looking swank yet under-dressed. Love them both - great grandmother that raised my mom and my mother.

April 28, 2009 at 12:42 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Despite how you look in this picture, it seems like everything has turned out okay after all. :)

April 28, 2009 at 1:02 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Dammit, I'm not sitting on rocks EVER again.

One of "those parents who doesn't approve of nudity in the schools"? I always suspected it.

April 28, 2009 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger SubWife said...

Soooo Russian! BTW, sitting on a cold stone actually freezes your ovaries, silly, not uterus. Or it might give you some mysterious illness called "cystit" that will cause uterine scarring and forever leave you childless. That's what my sources say, and i am sticking to it.

April 28, 2009 at 1:09 AM  
Anonymous susan said...

Marinka- I'm Ukrainian (and even though this pretty much makes us enemies, I will proceed).

As a 22 year old, I like to think I'm pretty stylish. read: I do not favor mom jeans with an 11" zipper.

Whenever I'm around my baba and I bend down and my shirt rides up so my bare back shows, she says I'm "hola"...aka n'aked.

Ahhhh Slavics. Gotta love em.

April 28, 2009 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger Z said...

That truly is a great expression you've got there! And maybe if you bundle up your kids (yes, both) in layers of tights, it'll protect them from the swine flu? And then you can patent the idea, and make loads of money off of it. Rich AND healthy, now that's a combo ;)

April 28, 2009 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Mama's beliefs aren't so unorthodox. Most people believe that going out in cold weather makes you sick and that we only use like 7 percent of our brains.

April 28, 2009 at 7:08 AM  
Blogger Teacher Mommy said...

You look a little more nekkid in tights than you would in shorts!

I'm with you on the creepy pervs thing, but I have a major problem: apparently my blog is attracting people with a diaper fetish. And there's just not much I can do about that one.


April 28, 2009 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

what if the perverts google f'allopian t'ubes???

April 28, 2009 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger WarriorHeartGypsySoul said...

Wooowww!!! haha That's awful... tights in summer.

April 28, 2009 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Everyday Goddess said...

One helluva Kodak moment!

April 28, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

I have a picture just like that taken in the 70s in Poland, in July. Except for I was wearing a hat. Because everyone knows that too much wind causes an ear infection.

April 28, 2009 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Today I sent my son to school in shorts even though it is only going to be 63 degrees today because I am tired of fighting with him about the difference between "summer 60" and "spring 60" - oh, yes, I have even described it as such! Apparently, I have a little Russian mother in me!

April 28, 2009 at 10:24 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i am a little more concerned about what's going on with your hair in that picture. is that a hat on your head? a wreath of flowers? a fall, wrapped around? a kitten?

April 28, 2009 at 10:50 AM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

Although I'm totally with you on the weather thing, I have noticed the oddity that setting the thermostat to 70 degrees in summer leaves me FREEZING in bed at night, while 70 degrees in winter leaves me ROASTING in bed at night. Hmmm... winter 70 = hot, and summer 70 = cold. It makes absolutely no sense. But it is about thermostats, rather than the sun. So I'm pretty sure you are still right on this one.

April 28, 2009 at 10:56 AM  
Blogger Madge said...

my grandmother was forever shoving clothes on me in case i would catch a cold -- and also to avoid immodesty..... like bermuda shorts --- you know very immodest.

April 28, 2009 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger TMCPhoto said...

"60 degrees in spring is different than in summer" this also was drilled into my brain growing up. It doesn't help that now that I am a grown up my body circulation is that of a corpse so it doesn't matter what I wear at any given time I still feel like a popsicle. So 60 degrees in spring feels colder then it does n the summer

April 28, 2009 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Glad you cleared that up.

60 degrees is not always 60 degrees because the sun is not having hot flashes?
good to know.

So would your mom die that my daughter is in a sleeveless top and skirt with sandals? Oh wait. It was 80 here this morning ;-) heh.

Yah, your expression says a LOT

April 28, 2009 at 12:54 PM  
Blogger Cynthia said...

1. 60 degrees in the spring is colder than 60 degrees in the summer. Because the sun is just warming up.

Sadly, this logic makes sense to me...are you worried;)

April 28, 2009 at 2:03 PM  
Anonymous zelzee said...

Add that right to:
"You'll catch your death".....

What, like if I duck it will miss me, and I'll be safe?

April 28, 2009 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Now that is a sexy look. Just sayin.

April 28, 2009 at 3:41 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

my friend who lived in russia said that strangers would come up to her and tell her that her kids were going to freeze to death (not enough layers and bundling). i guess you are lucky you got away w/ just tights in the summer time instead of a wool hat or ear muffs.

April 28, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger SSQuo said...

The use of n'aked is ingenious.

And btw, why did mama let you hang in the sun with your arms showing??? shouldnt they be covered as well?

Oh wait!!!!!! I just looked closely- THEY ARE!!

April 28, 2009 at 5:09 PM  
Anonymous Elaine at Lipstickdaily said...

I think I have unorthodox weather beliefs . . . if the kids is cold, put on a sweater; if not, don't. And the kid is pretty much the one who gets to say if he's cold. The source of endless arguments with my husband.

April 28, 2009 at 5:16 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

That is a little girl developing serious psychological issues if I ever saw one.

April 28, 2009 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

The look on your face suggests that someone told you that one day you would try and read Ulysses.

April 28, 2009 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Ann Imig said...

Love the updo.

April 28, 2009 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Y'ou s'hould t'otally s'till w'ear t'hat o'utfit.

April 28, 2009 at 10:04 PM  
Blogger Shay said...

Remember; a sweater is what you put on when your mother feels cold!

April 29, 2009 at 12:24 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

All this time, we could have cured infertility by getting women to stop sitting on cold rocks. Who knew?

April 29, 2009 at 9:31 AM  
Blogger Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Must have something to do with the old country...they all believe you'll catch a cold from sititng on the cold pavement, and they make you wear woolen tights until August.

April 29, 2009 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Jennifer S said...

Wouldn't tights in summer have the opposite - and just as dire - consequence as sitting on a rock?

April 30, 2009 at 7:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My parents said the same thing last week. The ground was just warming up, you see. It is impossible, according to the laws of physics, for the ground to be warm enough in the winter to wear capri pants. Even if it is 80 degrees outside. It is not the same as if the ground warms up in the summer. Curse you, cruel world.

May 4, 2009 at 8:53 AM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

My parents said the same thing last week. The ground was just warming up, you see. It is impossible, according to the laws of physics, for the ground to be warm enough in the winter to wear capri pants. Even if it is 80 degrees outside. It is not the same as if the ground warms up in the summer. Curse you, cruel, illogical Russian world.

May 4, 2009 at 8:53 AM  
Blogger MG @ MommyGeekology said...

That's pretty funny. And that picture of you? Hilarious. That expression does say it all!

May 15, 2009 at 7:40 AM  

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