Monday, March 16, 2009

Blogging the Resurrection

Ann of Ann's Rants has been hosting "blog posts that you may have missed" over on her blog and I am lucky to have an old post of mine recycled there! It's a post that's near and dear to my heart (I'm getting sentimental now!), and I hope you'll go there to check it out!

I am not a religious person, although I have a back up plan to convert to all the major religions on my deathbed, just in case. I think it's because I grew up as an atheist in the Soviet Union. Thanks a lot, uncle Lenin! I am not apologetic about it, it's my personal history and it's no more or less valid than anyone else's. But you should know that whatever flaws or shortcomings I have are directly attributable to it.
I was thinking what it would have been like to live during a certain time in history and blog about it. So I chose something mundane and uncontroversial.

So, if you read my post two weeks ago last Friday, you'll know that I was fuming that Husbandrinka and I were stuck in this huge traffic jam over the weekend because, get this, there was a crucifixion going on and everyone was rubbernecking. I got totally car sick from all the stop and go traffic. Fucking Romans.

Well, there's more. Apparently, he rose. You know, JC, not Husbandrinka. And I'm all like, great, I just know that General Hospital is going to be pre-empted again because of this and Husbandrinka is all "How can you think about a stupid soap opera at a time like this? This is really important, it's going to change the course of history." Really, Husbandrinka, history? A resurrection, and the whole world's going to change? And they say that we womenfolk are hysterical. So this is just a quick blog post, but I hear they're putting together a whole book about it. Like who's going to want to read that stuff? Toodles for now! By the way, has anyone heard from Judas? He hasn't posted on his blog since "The Seder: A Meal to Remember" last week.


Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

You know that won't quite work, right? By converting to all religions (and if I may I'll include athiesm too) the following will happen:

1) You'll be reincarnated once, but you'll come back as a atheistic cow in India.

2) As a non-believing cow you will sent away and used as a scape goat in Israel.

3) You will find Karma in the desert, but as a cow your cowline (making up words should never be frowned upon) mind will not appreciate it.

4) When you pass away (as a cow) you will get a glimpse of cow heaven, which is just a lump of chewed cud, before returning to the dust, eventually becoming oil and being used as rocket fuel.

5) Eventually you'll end up being a broken down c02 particle floating through the universe until the end.

If I were you I'd just convert to one...

March 16, 2009 at 3:23 AM  
Blogger Roshni said...

Yup, I read the post and it was really awesome! I'm glad she recycled it!
Funny that both of us posted about religions and what a pain in the ass they are!

March 16, 2009 at 5:16 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm not very religious either. And after being raised to go to church every time the doors opened, it pains my mother. You wouldn't believe how proud I was of my son when (over a dinner conversation at my parents) he asked, "Who is Moses?"

My mother didn't speak to me for a week. I can imagine him asking about a resurrection. He'd probably ask, "Was JC looking for his shadow?"

March 16, 2009 at 5:43 AM  
Blogger Imogen Lamport, AICI CIP said...

Those cruxifictions are just a pain in the hands and feet.

March 16, 2009 at 6:49 AM  
Blogger The Dental Maven said...

Resurrections are highly overrated. I resurrected an old bed comforter from my closet 2 weeks ago and NOTHING has happened as a result.

March 16, 2009 at 7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great posts! "has anyone heard from Judas? he hasn't posted on his blog..." lol. and I loved rereading the dream post, it totally cracked me up (again).

March 16, 2009 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger Everyday Goddess said...

Marinka, I feel I need to point out that you have now earned status as a resurrectionist yourself because of your old blog being reborn on Anns Rants today.

Hallelulah! Unto us a miracle has been given!

March 16, 2009 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

You are SO going to hell!
Lucky for you I'll be at the Gates to meet you with a drink.

March 16, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I think you need to make this a regular feature.

I'm always happy to meet a fellow heathen.

March 16, 2009 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Frogs in my formula said...

Every year the local church performs a resurrection right on my street. And every year after I show my boobs my husband kindly reminds me I'm not at Mardi Gras. I think there should be just ONE big ass parade to celebrate all this stuff so people like me don't get confused.

March 16, 2009 at 1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've never seen 'general hospital,' but i heard on 'this american life' that retired chimp actors (like the ones who were in the tarzan movies or those hilarious clint eastwood romps) LOVE that show - it's their favorite.

March 16, 2009 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Mundane and uncontroversial suit you! Really!! ;-)

March 16, 2009 at 4:50 PM  

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