Thursday, October 9, 2008

Wordless Wednesday. Now on Thursday. And with Words.

So, if I were you, Readerinka, I would be feeling royally ripped off just about now. Because I have the whole "NYC" thing as part of my blog and from the posts that I've been writing, I could be living absolutely anywhere. As long as it was well-padded, that is.

Is that fair to you? Don't you deserve more?

It's my fault. If I'd been carrying my camera around last week, I would have captured these "only in New York" moments and you would have seen photos of a man wearing an American-flag g-string and nothing else biking downtown. You would have seen the enormous vat of cranberries outside of the Today Show studios. You would have seen the look on Husbandrinka's face when I said, "hey, wouldn't it be fun if I quit my job to blog full-time?" But, alas, you missed all that, and you have no one but me to blame for it. I hope that you can live with myself.

But now, I'm turning over a new leaf.

Every day, I walk past Saks Fifth Avenue, which is like so deluxe, they practically don't let me in.

I have a rocky relationship with the store. It's the place where my mother took me to buy my very first bra and the sales lady visually violated me and said, "come back in a few years." Seriously, that's the kind of bitch that I can sort of admire. Works on commission, but is willing to forego it to get a snark in. So, you can see why the store holds a special place in my heart, right behind my breasts. Saks is the only store where not once, but twice, I got stuck in the changing room and the sales lady had to liberate me with the special key. Fortunately, their dressing rooms are roughly the size of my apartment, so I was pretty comfortable. Is this a bad place to mention that one of the times that I was stuck, I was stuck inside a dress that I couldn't move past my Eli Manning-like shoulders? Because I'm pretty sure that the sales lady that walked in on the sight is still in recovery.

But the biggest joy I get from Saks is walking past their windows. Around Christmas, they are spectacular, and have snow flakes that light up and there is a velvet rope and people line up to look at the windows and even videotape the scenes. I like the Saks windows on all other days, though. Because they are outrageous.

Like in August, they had this:

Can you tell that the ruby slippers actually protrude from the window? Fancy, right?

And in early September they had this:

Now I don't know a lot about men's fashion, but I am certain that this is what they're wearing in all the finest insane asylums. And don't miss the "WANT IT" written across the window. I believe that's called subliminal advertisement.

This week, they had the Dior display above. I thought it was so lovely, it looked like Catherine Deneuve from Belle de Jour is modeling in the window. Except I think she's a whore in that movie. Which may be the ultimate in window shopping.

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Blogger Lucy Filet said...

I love the pictures! Warsaw has its fine points, but I would LOVE to see New York.

And I've been a bad commenter this week. I'm all out of funny (I wonder if they sell it at my local store?) and I've been busier than I have been in my whole life here in Warsaw. I don't know if I like it or not.

October 9, 2008 at 5:05 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

When I was 15 I walked into Saks and tried on a $5,000 dress "for a cousin's wedding" - just because I wanted to see what a $5,000 dress felt like. God, the pampering. They even brought me shoes!

And you know what? It was butt-ugly - literally. It was one of those godawful mushroom dresses (oh how I loathed the 80's) and made my ass look like an actual mushroom!

October 9, 2008 at 8:31 AM  
Blogger jill jill bo bill said...

Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I cracked up at your comment! Sounds like you and I have the same wine glasses!!! Avtually mine are often the plastic Silo picnic cups so the kids don't think I am a lush. What they don't know won't hurt them!!!

October 9, 2008 at 9:03 AM  
Blogger Madge said...

I love the NYC photos, but come on, I want to see a horrified expression in husbandrinka's face!

October 9, 2008 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

Wait how did I miss this yesterday?? I love it. I have a history of getting locked into places as well.

October 9, 2008 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow, it was just like "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Except if you replaced Tiffany's with Sak's. "Breakfast at Sak's" sounds like a much different movie. We could always go with "Breakfast at Tiffany's Sak" for the risque.

October 9, 2008 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger daydreamymama said...

So I just discovered your blog, and it makes me want to quit my job and blog full-time myself. Maybe I could teach myself to write funny if I had enough time (or so goes today's delusion).

October 9, 2008 at 10:14 AM  
Blogger Marie S said...

I was hoping you would start talking about NYC soon! Now, please tell us more about living in an apartment instead of in a boring house in the suburbs. (You know, with white picket fences and 2.5 children....) Also, how is the driver's license quest going?

October 9, 2008 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Kylie--you are never out of funny. I'd think that pictures of Warsaw are more interesting than NYC!

Robin--lol about the butt ugly dress. The 80s were very mushroomy.

Jill-- ;)

Madge--I know. But he'd never let me post it. Unless he models for Saks, I guess.

Kate--I think you missed it yesterday because I posted it today! ;) Isn't it mortifying to be locked in? I always sort of sit there for a few minutes, hanging on to my dignity as long as possible.

Heinous--yes, it's exactly like that. Except without the breakfast.

Daydreamymama--how will we know if we don't try?! And I don't think it's our fault that we don't have a trust fund.

Craftymom--Your wish is my command! Coming right up!

October 9, 2008 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

Classic Marinka. Only you could make Saks windows hilarious. More NYC photos please! Makes me want to buy a plane ticket right now.

October 9, 2008 at 1:23 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

I have NEVER been to the city. there. I said it. I WANT to come, always SAY I will come, but never do. SHAME ON ME.

October 9, 2008 at 9:31 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Mama Ginger Tree--your wish is my command. I will lug my camera around. I assume I can forward my physical therapy bills to you when I crumble under its burden?

Vodka Mom--It's kind of cool that you have NYC still to look forward to! (But I'm pointing and laughing anyway!)

October 9, 2008 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

Hi Marinka. I'm so glad you stopped by my blog. I've been a fan of yours since the day I read the post about why you're not the worst mother. I stop by almost daily and I'm never disappointed.

My mother LIVES at Saks. LIVES I tell you. I have eaten more lunches there than I can count and her idea of a sale is a double markdown at Saks Fifth Ave. God Bless her, my mother the clotheshorse.

October 9, 2008 at 11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say I am very confused on this whole wordless wednesday thing, will you help me out?
"">click here please.
And just so you know, this is not some ploy to get you addicted to my blog, or anything. I swear *wink wink*

October 11, 2008 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Z said...

Sorry about the multiple comments today, I am finally catching up on (some of) my blog reading... And I, too, love window shopping in NY!

October 13, 2008 at 7:48 PM  

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