Gateway

So yesterday my stepson and I go to pick up my son from school and he tells us, "Guess what? Jack and I got locked in the bathroom together, but don't worry, we weren't going to the bathroom together, we just went in there to trade Pokemon cards!" and I say, "I thought that you were not allowed to trade Pokemon cards at school" and he says, "Duh, that's why we went into the bathroom."

So I tell mama this story and she says, "Why don't you check his pockets before he leaves for school?" and I say, "Because I thought that I wouldn't start the pat- downs until after his 8th birthday," and she says, "very funny, but there's all sorts of stuff that he can bring to school if you are not careful."

And I know that I should just drop it, but I can't. Because I want to know what can he bring from our house that mama considers a danger to society. Will he sneak in my Oil of Olay face cream? Husbandrinka's shaving cream? What?

So mama says, "There's a lot of medication in your house, he could bring that." It's true. Husbandrinka has high blood pressure. But my son isn't interested in medication.

"Not yet," mama says. "When he was a baby, he wasn't interested in Pokemon cards, either."

Touche, with the little accent mark over the e. Also the little accent mark should be all over Pokemon and everything that mama says.