Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Gateway

So yesterday my stepson and I go to pick up my son from school and he tells us, "Guess what? Jack and I got locked in the bathroom together, but don't worry, we weren't going to the bathroom together, we just went in there to trade Pokemon cards!" and I say, "I thought that you were not allowed to trade Pokemon cards at school" and he says, "Duh, that's why we went into the bathroom."

So I tell mama this story and she says, "Why don't you check his pockets before he leaves for school?" and I say, "Because I thought that I wouldn't start the pat- downs until after his 8th birthday," and she says, "very funny, but there's all sorts of stuff that he can bring to school if you are not careful."

And I know that I should just drop it, but I can't. Because I want to know what can he bring from our house that mama considers a danger to society. Will he sneak in my Oil of Olay face cream? Husbandrinka's shaving cream? What?

So mama says, "There's a lot of medication in your house, he could bring that." It's true. Husbandrinka has high blood pressure. But my son isn't interested in medication.

"Not yet," mama says. "When he was a baby, he wasn't interested in Pokemon cards, either."

Touche, with the little accent mark over the e. Also the little accent mark should be all over Pokemon and everything that mama says.

31 Comments:

Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I have hope that when your son hits the drug-stealing years he'll realize high blood pressure medication is so not where it's at.

June 2, 2009 at 11:06 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

I don't have to worry about my boys taking things to school. Cripes, they come home with so much junk (and yet, still no drugs, hmmm...) given to them from their teachers! The teachers call the trinkets "incentives." I call it "Yeah! Look what we just gave YOUR kid because we cleaned out OUR kid's bedroom over the weekend!"

June 2, 2009 at 11:25 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

Oh that's funny. When I first started reading this I thought that your stepson was telling you that he and your son were locked in the bathroom together. And I was like huh? With the accent on the u. HA!

June 2, 2009 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

I once took my mom's really nice perfume to school. Wrapped up nice. For my 1st grade teacher.

I still feel bad about that one.

P.S.
Your mom is the best!

June 2, 2009 at 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh yes... Pokemon trading cards, very important business to my 6 year old as well. My husband swears that if our kid claims he can't learn a foreign language when he's older, he's full of shit!

Jen in Ohio

June 2, 2009 at 11:50 AM  
Anonymous Coco said...

They somehow manage to get things by you and take them to school. It has happened here a LOT.

June 2, 2009 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Frau said...

OMG I love your Momma!

June 2, 2009 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger RenĂ©e aka Mekhismom said...

Your mother is so funny she actually made a good point. I find it hilarious that your son found a way around the no trading card rule. Is punishment in order?

June 2, 2009 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

When pogs made a come back at my son's elementary school, my son and husband found a store on the other side of the island where they were no longer popular. They bought the "in" pogs for a nickle each and son sold them at school for a quarter. The then 10 year old made about $100 before they shut him down.

Guess who got called and had to go in and get treated like the mother of the school drug dealer? Effing husband thought it was funny.

June 2, 2009 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

Kids were taking so much stuff to school in my daughters class that the teacher finally decided that Fridays would be show and tell in order to curb all the toys from home. Now LaLa insists that everyday is show and tell...

June 2, 2009 at 12:17 PM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

Might want to rethink the pat downs. Therapy costs a LOT. And you'd be the creepy subject of many holiday dinners.

June 2, 2009 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

I expect that Pokemon was just a front. The reality is that he was trading your face cream for hard cash.

June 2, 2009 at 1:02 PM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

Love Mama stories. Mine is back in the fatherland for a business trip which gives me nothing good to blog about. Heh.

Also. I wish I had the foresight when I started blogging to be O'Mama instead of OHmommy. Sounds much cooler, no? O'Mama like Obama. Whatev... it was on my mind this morning and I had no one to share it with.

June 2, 2009 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Wow, that was awkward said...

And what about what they bring home from school? One of my guys brought a can full of worms that turn into beetles. It has been on our kitchen counter and I closely examine all my food before taking any bites.

June 2, 2009 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Hide your face cream dammit, don't you see it's a diversion! LOL!

June 2, 2009 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger Roadchick said...

Start frisking him now.

When Rockboy was about his age, he went to school with a pharmacy knife in his pocket - a tiny little penknife with a hook for removing cotton from inside medicine bottles. I had dozens since I worked in a pharmacy.

I found out when I received the call from school saying I needed to come talk to them about sending my SEVEN YEAR OLD to alternative school for a weapons charge.

Sad thing was, he was more dangerous with a pencil, having tripped over someone's feet and stabbing the point into his own palm.

June 2, 2009 at 2:41 PM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

I am a person who believes in natural consequences (or I'm lazy) don't bother with the pat down, he knows the rules, he willingly is breaking them, when he gets caught he'll suffer the consequences.

June 2, 2009 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

hey! Mama is always right!! :P

June 2, 2009 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger blognut said...

I wonder what the street value of high blood pressure medication might be.

June 2, 2009 at 5:22 PM  
Anonymous Jasmine said...

Oh man! My son is two and already puts things in his pockets. He once had a set of blocks from a playdate in his diaper. Sheesh!

June 2, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

Is this Mama's subtle way of saying "I have been through your bedside drawers, yes even the little hidden one, and I know what you keep there"?

June 2, 2009 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger lizspin said...

Always listen to Mama. . .

June 2, 2009 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Personally, I think the pockets of all pants should be sewn shut for the male gender. And you can put an accent on that.

June 2, 2009 at 7:51 PM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

I want to just hang out with your parents for the weekend and ask endless questions.

But alas I have to go hide my husband's Benicar.

June 2, 2009 at 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Elaine at Lipstickdaily said...

On yeah. Don't.mess.with.the.pokemon.cards.

June 2, 2009 at 9:35 PM  
Blogger ella said...

No matter how irritating those Pokemon cards are, they all outgrow them eventually and move on to other things WAY more repulsive. Like skateboards.

June 3, 2009 at 1:04 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Just wait until his Bakugan obsession starts.

June 3, 2009 at 1:25 AM  
OpenID mommygeekology said...

She's right. Pokemon now, crack cocaine later. Like, tomorrow. Beware!

June 3, 2009 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Elisa said...

Ah, come on, just because he sneaked in Pokemon cards doesn't mean he will be stealing drugs in a few years. My daughter brings comic books to school sometimes but I seriously doubt that means she will bring booze next ;-)

June 4, 2009 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger SweetPeaSurry said...

Mama's ... they are just chock full of excellent advice, aren't they?

blessings!

June 4, 2009 at 8:05 PM  
Blogger Alli Worthington {@alliworthington} said...

excellent post. excellent insights.

xo

June 5, 2009 at 9:45 AM  

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