Labial Whore

Dedicated to my beautiful and crazy-funny friend Heather. And not just because she wrote about labia before I did.

The other day, John called me a labial whore.
It was just a term of endearment, so to speak.
As soon as he called me that, he asked "wait, what is labia?" and I had to explain that they were gynecological lips. He pretended to faint, as gay men sometimes do when labial issues are discussed.
"It's not nice to call people labial whores," I told him, because I prefer that people are sweet and polite to their fellow human beings at all times. That's just the kind of person I am.

So, a few days later, John and I were talking on the phone and he told me that his friend David explained to him that there was the major labia and the minor labia, so it was basically just like the baseball leagues. And then John said something that will haunt me always:
"Does this mean that women have four labia?"

Jesus. The labial quartet does sound like a mouthful, doesn't it?

And since I believe in genital equality, I wanted to share what my kids and I saw at the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Oh, don't worry, a full account of that trip is coming. But for now, we saw this:



Want a closer look? Coming right up!



Is a dick shield really necessary? And if it is, why does it have to be in the, as the tourists admiring it alongside us, asked "happy all the time" position?

Oh, and on a different note, don't forget to enter the Thomas giveaway! And the Wizard of Oz giveaway is still going strong!