Friday, February 6, 2009

Winning Strategy

I think this all started with Indecent Proposal, where (spoiler alert!) Demi Moore has sex with Robert Redford for one million dollars and then her husband is all upset about it, because the money's great, but his wife is, well, a whore, which makes him cranky.

So then normal people started asking their friends if they'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars (and the answer is, "sure, but where would I get the million dollars?") and then the game degenerates into someone asking "for fun", "who's the most disgusting person that you'd sleep with for a million dollars?" to see who will outgross everyone else. And trust me on this, people will say "Tom Cruise, he's such a Scientologist and a weirdo" or "Mel Gibson--that drunk Republican anti-semite."

Well, I'm here to share my winning strategy.

"A threesome with Andy Rooney and Giuliani."

No one will beat you and it's not like you'll have to prove it by actually having sex with these people, so what do you have to lose?

Well, maybe your dignity, but since you're playing this game in the first place, I'm guessing you're not at the local Mensa chapter meeting to begin with. Or whatever the dignity equivalent of Mensa is.

Have a great weekend and good luck getting that image out of your mind!


The winner of the Shopping Spree Giveaway will be announced tomorrow. The contest closes tonight at 8 pm EST.
Recap of the rules is here.

Also, Jessica,Wendi, Christy, Anna and Kelcey (that's comedy royalty, people!) have put in to do a room of their own at BlogHer '09 on the topic of "Humor'. It's called, "Dying is Easy, Comedy is Hard". If you're interested in being a part of it, we'd love you to sign up. Go to this link and tell BlogHer that you'll go to the room to hear these funny ladies. I'll be there too, taking notes and fetching them coffee. And maybe looking through their purses.

And have you been to Secret Spineless Whine yet? I think you really owe it to yourself to check it out.


Blogger Alex and Ashley said...

That is such a funny game, I have never played! I am tired so I probably couldn't have sex with anybody!

February 6, 2009 at 12:15 AM  
Blogger Tiaras & Tantrums said...

Nope won't be playing that game!

February 6, 2009 at 1:02 AM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

You win.

February 6, 2009 at 4:56 AM  
Blogger Janie said...

I've never heard of that game...but it's probably because I live so close to sheep and cowboys. (Don't make me draw you a picture.)

I'll go to the Blogher as you have requested, my queen.

February 6, 2009 at 5:21 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Thanks for the image. Now I've successfully lost my appetite.

And you are fight about the comedy royalty! You should be in that group, too.

February 6, 2009 at 6:10 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

I usually say that I will sleep with whomever is asking for one million bucks, but that I normally charge two million. That usually ends the conversation so we can move onto something more productive.

February 6, 2009 at 6:31 AM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

You know, after 9/11 totally could have jumped Giuliani's bones. (Did I just admit that?)

Swap him for Blagojevich and that's one frightening combo.

February 6, 2009 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Hi, I'm Christy. said...

Um, I'll pass. I will however go to that blogger link for the comedy royalty - even though I sadly won't be in attendance.

February 6, 2009 at 6:50 AM  
Blogger Braja said...

This shameless self promotion is nauseating.

Teach me.

And trust me, Mensa is overrated. Oh yeah, I know.

February 6, 2009 at 6:55 AM  

Geez...don't get the game. I totally would have done Robert Redford for a million. But Andy Rooney..gag...


February 6, 2009 at 7:10 AM  
Blogger ♥ spoiled mommy ♥ said...

I think that I will pass playing that game. lol

February 6, 2009 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

If we can just say that you win, then the rest of us don't have to play and you don't get your money.

February 6, 2009 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Ronda's Rants said...

God...I think I need to take a shower!

February 6, 2009 at 7:37 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

You are such a whore Madrinka!
A threesome?
Can I watch?

February 6, 2009 at 7:38 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

AND yes I did use spell check!

February 6, 2009 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger Angie's Spot said...

Yikes, my mind is permanently scarred from that image. I concede victory to you. :-)

February 6, 2009 at 8:04 AM  
Blogger Ashley said...

Sounds like you're going to have a good night.

February 6, 2009 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger WackyGrandma said...

Carrot Top & Mickey Rourke - ewww.

February 6, 2009 at 8:22 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

You totally win.

February 6, 2009 at 8:33 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Yeah, I'm with Angie, I'm pretty sure I'm scared for life!

February 6, 2009 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger WA said...

I don't think it'd be THAT unpleasant--I hear Andy can do magic things with those eyebrows of his. And he's WAY sexier than Larry King, who are we kidding?

And thanks for volunteering to be our BlogHer runner. But watch out cause I hear that Jessica is a HUGE diva.

February 6, 2009 at 9:00 AM  
Anonymous denise said...

Tom Cruise is gross enough!

February 6, 2009 at 9:08 AM  
Blogger Smartass Milf said...

Tim Burton and Carrot Top

February 6, 2009 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger Swistle said...

A million dollars? Hm.

February 6, 2009 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I play this game all the time. Seriously, I am a degenerate. My friends and I do a game called Would You Rather?

You pick 3 people. You have to sleep with one, murder the other, and one walks away scot free.

Lots of fun, hours of fun.

February 6, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I don't think Giuliani would be that bad... I'd consider Andy Rooney if he weren't so *old*... I'd probably have to do all the work! Hey, a million dollars is a million dollars!

February 6, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Always Home and Uncool said...

Sub Cheney for Guilani and I'll kick any extra sawbuck your way.

February 6, 2009 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Tooj said...

Andy Rooney...with those wonderful eyebrows....something about him is so sweet. But RG...icky. Even with lipstick.

February 6, 2009 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

I can't believe that I gave you people my winning strategy, for free, I might add, and you're all like "I've never played that game" "Eww" and "No, thanks."

You know there's a word for people like you, right? Liars. Ungrateful liars.

except for Deb. And Scary Mommy with her Rudy lust--wtf?!

;) xo

February 6, 2009 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Amy - said...

I am far too whimpy for this game! You, on the other hand, must have some serious mind over matter skills.

February 6, 2009 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Um, that combo qualifies for 3 million dollars.

February 6, 2009 at 9:44 AM  
Blogger Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

I've seen Robery Redford. His eyes melted the snow right off my eyelashes. I'd find a million dollars for that.

February 6, 2009 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

You have quite a winning strategy, but there are a number of people that aren't worth a million dollars!

February 6, 2009 at 10:21 AM  
Blogger JuneBug said...

Good game... I can't even think who'd I'd pick!

February 6, 2009 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger Elisabeth said...

Great strategy!

February 6, 2009 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Oh, I love playing "What if?" games. Like, would you let Mike Tyson punch you in the face for a million dollars? With the cash you could reconstruct your face and still have some left over!

A million? I'd boink anything!

February 6, 2009 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Comedy Goddess said...

My ex husband.

February 6, 2009 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger beck'sthree said...

you know a million doesn't go as far as it used to, so my standards have gone up. i'd have to get 2 mil for anyone less attractive than that guy that plays the new bond.

February 6, 2009 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Simply AnonyMom said... win. Hands down...Just don't give the details afterwards. I want to keep my lunch.

February 6, 2009 at 11:18 AM  
Blogger katyboo1 said...

We have a couple of similar games here in the UK.

You nominate three gross people (usually celebs) and the other person has to pick who to marry, who to have sex with, and who to go on a year long cruise with.

The other one is 'Dog or Dish' Flick through the pages of celeb mags and indicate dog or dish, fifi or fido, with regards to each celeb photo. Who to shag, who to bag?

Hours of endless entertainment for those of us who are fickle and like trashing other people we haven't met!

February 6, 2009 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I'll trump you with Larry King and Dubya.

February 6, 2009 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Nicole Feliciano said...

Ok after meeting Salma Hayek in person yesterday (read about it here:

she should be on everyone's list. Fun post!

February 6, 2009 at 11:33 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

I cannot believe it is Friday already! I hope I win.

February 6, 2009 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

now i'm all embarrassed b/c of that one night with andy rooney. i was drunk people.

February 6, 2009 at 12:08 PM  
Blogger Little Ethiopia(n) said...

We used to play this game during board meetings using the board members... and I worked for an actors' union so there were ALLLLL sorts of interesting people to consider... and by interesting i mean "gross, not so very gross, and extremely hot"

February 6, 2009 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Smores for Breakfast said...

ewww. you win.

I can't think of how to top Rooney and Giulliani.

Unless you throw in George Bush or Cheney.

February 6, 2009 at 12:29 PM  
Blogger SSauer said...

Lesson Learned. Never play games with Marinka. She will win at whatever cost (almost, unless it requires too much energy) and sear your brain with nasty images in the process!

Between your selection and WhackyGrandma's YUCK!

February 6, 2009 at 12:30 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i'm so hoping there's a "twist" to your contest, and before the winner can claim the prize, s/he has to have sex w/andy & rudy. that'd be awesome.

February 6, 2009 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Miss M said...

I believe that Smores for Breakfast wins with Bush and Cheney. The thought! Gag!

February 6, 2009 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger TMCPhoto said...

I like the way you think! If you're going to play don't use some has been teen idol semi attractive weirdo go for the gross out!

February 6, 2009 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Jennifer H said...

Bush, Cheney, and Nancy Grace.

I so win.

February 6, 2009 at 2:08 PM  
Anonymous Hannah said...


February 6, 2009 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Maura said...

I've heard of this game, but never had to play. I also say "You win."

February 6, 2009 at 3:18 PM  
Blogger heartatpreschool said...

No comment.

Oh wait, this IS a comment.

February 6, 2009 at 3:52 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

My answer for that game would have a lot to do with the conditions. Would I actually have to "participate", Could I watch TV or listen to my ipod to keep my mind off the grossness, could I erase my memory afterward. The caliber of my choice (on a grossness level) would really depend on this. And honestly - Indecent Proposal is so dated now... I how far does a million dollars go these days?

February 6, 2009 at 5:07 PM  
Blogger Lawton said...

i am playing.

February 6, 2009 at 6:34 PM  
Blogger C and C Mommy said...

I can't play that game!!

February 6, 2009 at 6:42 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

CRAP!! I wish I was damn rich and could go to BlogHer.

damn damn damn.

February 6, 2009 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger Anna Lefler said...

Woo-Hee! Just back from a quick shower after your "winning" threesome suggestion. [shudder]

THANK YOU for the shout-out, oh, Gracious Bloggerina! We/I truly appreciate it. I will leave lots of tasty snacks in my purse in case you happen to rummage through mine.

[Note to self: leave safety ON on the Glock that's rolling around somewhere in the bottom of my purse so there's no accidental disruption during our riveting presentation.]



February 6, 2009 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Dick Cheney and Sean Hannity -- now excuse me while I go puke.

February 6, 2009 at 7:55 PM  
Blogger K.Line said...

You really are outrageously hilarious. No one could be worse than that combo (though I'm going to give it my serious consideration).

February 6, 2009 at 9:05 PM  
Blogger Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

Ewwwww!!!!! Yea, I think you'd win that game!

February 6, 2009 at 9:37 PM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

I'm not very could have gone with Woody Allen!

February 6, 2009 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger lizspin said...

You stole my answer! Now I'm going to have to go to Secret Spineless Whine and complain!!!

February 7, 2009 at 7:31 AM  
Blogger Momo Fali said...

How about Gene Shalit and Willard Scott?

I win.

February 7, 2009 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

you can have sex with me for free!

that's what my husband says anyhow.

February 8, 2009 at 12:23 AM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

Oh damn, I can't sleep with someone even a little bit disgusting for a million dollars. I-just-can't. Because I'm a woose. A sook. A sookie woose. A woosie sook. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! (wail!)

February 8, 2009 at 2:40 AM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You know you have reached mid life when you know, deep down, that who you will do for a million is a question with a scary answer. Like, what kind of freak would pay me a mllion??

I so wish I could go to BlogHer...

February 8, 2009 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

BTW You really should be on the comedy panel. You make me laugh every single time I come over here.

February 8, 2009 at 10:08 AM  

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