Don't Look So Glum! McCain & Palin are Full of Aplomb!
Ok, I never said that I was a Poet Laureate, so what do you expect?
I am a mom, and as a mom, I know a lot about making rhyme and reason out of nonsense, so I think that qualifies me to write a line of poetry as the title of my post. I'm sorry if it doesn't measure up to your elisit-liberal arts college English major expectations.
Anyway.
I thought that I would consolidate all my political thoughts into this post to get it out of my system. So, it's like two mini-posts for the price of one. Because I'm sensitive to this economic climate. And if I see a blogger who only gives you one post, I will make them famous and you will know their name. Seriously, when McCain says that he will make these people famous? Does he mean "infamous"? Because I'm imagining him on the phone, saying "Can we get Jim on Oprah? That would be fantastic exposure! No. How about Ellen?"
First:
Ten Reasons Why a McCain/Palin Administration is not the end of the world. (OMG, hold on a second while I bandage my wrists. Typing "McCain/Palin Administration" was a bit more than I could take).
1. Guaranteed job security for Jon Stewart. Come on, it was great with Bush, the Daily Show will now be twice the fun!
2. Ditto for Tina Fey.
3. Tritto for mental health professionals who will be seeing us round the clock.
4. Tired of that pregnancy coin toss? Should I abort this baby or not? I mean, we've all been there--on the one hand, a life, but on the other hand, eh. Good news! No more Roe v. Wade to worry about.
5. Think of all the time/resources we will save in meetings with world leaders because John McCain will be able to look them in the eye and instantly assess the situation. (This wouldn't be the right place to express concern about his hallucinating letters in Putin's eyes, right?)
6. Kids clamoring for a trip to Europe after college or an extra sweet treat? Excuse me, but that's not our culture!
7. Err...
8. Hmm...
9. Cindy will give us some money?
10. Come on, who isn't looking forward to following the wedded life of Bristol and Levi? By the way, do you think that Bristol will keep her maiden name?
Second:
Comments That My Kids Made While Watching the Friday Night Debate
The old guy is ugly and his tie is stupid.
Obama has big teeth.
Who is winning?
Are they allowed to lie during this thing?
This is boring.
Is the ugly guy holding a Sharpie? I want a Sharpie too. We have them at school.
Why does someone so old want to be President?
Is George Bush still alive? WHAT? How can the first President still be alive? Oh. You're a buttbrain, yourself.
Look, they're interrupting each other. TIme out!
I need to know more vocabulary words.
We are in the middle of TWO WARS?!
Is it almost over?
When is the election?
At least if the ugly guy wins, Obama will get to be Vice President.
Well, "Mc-c-ain" is hard to pronounce! Ugly guy, ugly guy, ugly guy!
Can we watch "Suite Life on Deck" instead?
Who do you like better, Zach or Cody?
Does this last like forever?
Ooh, a bracelet! Where's the bracelet?
I want to go to sleep.
Don't they want to go to sleep?
I am a mom, and as a mom, I know a lot about making rhyme and reason out of nonsense, so I think that qualifies me to write a line of poetry as the title of my post. I'm sorry if it doesn't measure up to your elisit-liberal arts college English major expectations.
Anyway.
I thought that I would consolidate all my political thoughts into this post to get it out of my system. So, it's like two mini-posts for the price of one. Because I'm sensitive to this economic climate. And if I see a blogger who only gives you one post, I will make them famous and you will know their name. Seriously, when McCain says that he will make these people famous? Does he mean "infamous"? Because I'm imagining him on the phone, saying "Can we get Jim on Oprah? That would be fantastic exposure! No. How about Ellen?"
First:
Ten Reasons Why a McCain/Palin Administration is not the end of the world. (OMG, hold on a second while I bandage my wrists. Typing "McCain/Palin Administration" was a bit more than I could take).
1. Guaranteed job security for Jon Stewart. Come on, it was great with Bush, the Daily Show will now be twice the fun!
2. Ditto for Tina Fey.
3. Tritto for mental health professionals who will be seeing us round the clock.
4. Tired of that pregnancy coin toss? Should I abort this baby or not? I mean, we've all been there--on the one hand, a life, but on the other hand, eh. Good news! No more Roe v. Wade to worry about.
5. Think of all the time/resources we will save in meetings with world leaders because John McCain will be able to look them in the eye and instantly assess the situation. (This wouldn't be the right place to express concern about his hallucinating letters in Putin's eyes, right?)
6. Kids clamoring for a trip to Europe after college or an extra sweet treat? Excuse me, but that's not our culture!
7. Err...
8. Hmm...
9. Cindy will give us some money?
10. Come on, who isn't looking forward to following the wedded life of Bristol and Levi? By the way, do you think that Bristol will keep her maiden name?
Second:
Comments That My Kids Made While Watching the Friday Night Debate
The old guy is ugly and his tie is stupid.
Obama has big teeth.
Who is winning?
Are they allowed to lie during this thing?
This is boring.
Is the ugly guy holding a Sharpie? I want a Sharpie too. We have them at school.
Why does someone so old want to be President?
Is George Bush still alive? WHAT? How can the first President still be alive? Oh. You're a buttbrain, yourself.
Look, they're interrupting each other. TIme out!
I need to know more vocabulary words.
We are in the middle of TWO WARS?!
Is it almost over?
When is the election?
At least if the ugly guy wins, Obama will get to be Vice President.
Well, "Mc-c-ain" is hard to pronounce! Ugly guy, ugly guy, ugly guy!
Can we watch "Suite Life on Deck" instead?
Who do you like better, Zach or Cody?
Does this last like forever?
Ooh, a bracelet! Where's the bracelet?
I want to go to sleep.
Don't they want to go to sleep?
Labels: politics, Sarah Palin and I
posted by Marinka at
1:22 AM
23 Comments:
Brilliant
Love it!
sounds like you just visited my classroom. They are voting for Obama because he has a nice suit and has an "o" in his name.
Hilarious! I love the kids' comments.
Durr, I meant to come back and comment during the delurking bit, but saw something shiny and got distracted.
This is SO FUNNY, Marinka. I think your kids and mine would get along great. The other day I told Hadleigh (10) that I was going to dress up as Sarah Palin for Halloween and she said, "Does that outfit come with a dunce cap?"
KABLOOIE! I thought that was awesome!
I especially love and agree with numbers seven and eight on the list or reasons. Your kids' responses were absolutely hilarious.
Fantastic post! They should have your kids on "Face the Nation." The country would be better for it. I guess you could go there too.
I like the way the kidrinkas think.
#10 is my favorite. Inquiring minds want to know.
I think your kids need their own blog.
hi!
Love it, love it, love it! Finally, a political post that didn't get all holier-than -thou...just funny. I think YOU should be on the show with Jon Stewart!
You're childrenrinkas and I had some of the same thoughts during the debate! How odd. Funny, funny, funny.
You know, I hadn't thought of it until your #9, but maybe Cindy McCain is the answer to the economic bailout plan.
Marinka - if only you weren't born in Russia as I am sure you are the best candidate out there - at least presidential debates would be funny.
"tritto" - snort snort
Oh and another thing - you have actually been to Russia instead of just viewing it over the maritime line and I bet you have a passport!
A reality show with Bristol and Levi is reality tv GOLD I tell you!
Can you just imagine? Your a rowdy jock and you get some girl pregnant. Then her mother runs for VP.
"DAMN I didn't like her THAT much!"
poor guy :)
I can see Canada from Detroit, does that mean I can be VP too?
Award. For you. My blog. Come get it. Whether you want it or not.
Loved the coin toss line re: having a baby. All those women who think "Sarah is just like me" makes me wonder if they too are a bunch of spiteful, jealous, idiotic, borderline personalities.
um, i think i said most of those things during the debate also.
except for the suite life on deck. ugh.
we prefer the wizards of waverly place.
This is hilarious. What great observations from you kids. I was with them -let's watch the Suite Life. I must shamefully admit I watched that show before I had a child.
My first time here. Found you via comments on Maggie Dammit's blog.
You're hilarious. Love that list! And clearly, the kids take after their mom.
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