Saturday, September 27, 2008

Hey, Lurkers!

Look, everyone lurks.

Maybe you're thinking, "I don't want to leave a comment, I just like to read your blog!"

Maybe you're thinking, "I don't want to leave a comment, and I don't even like to read your blog, but I'm a masochist and this is what I do."

Maybe you're thinking "I'd totally leave a comment, but my keyboard isn't working!"

Maybe you're thinking, "I have nothing to say."

All legitimate reasons for not commenting.

I'm not going to hold it against you, I swear. But I did want to share some testimonials from former lurkers. People who were just like you.

Dear Marinka:

Up until last week I was a lurker on your blog. Then one day, I posted a comment and later that day I won the lottery!

Love, LurkNoMore

And this:

Hey, Marinka! Crazy shit--I commented on your blog and guess what? Those ten pounds melted off by the afternoon. Unbelievable. xo Slim

There's more!

Your Royal Highness Marinka:

I never comment on blogs, because I figure, what's the point? But I commented on yours last week and then found true love. He's rich, too! I can't believe it!

Thanks for everything, Mrs. Rich.

Sure, all those could be coincidences. But are they?

Citizen Marinka:

After I left a comment on your blog, I accepted, without blinking, a nomination to be the Vice Presidential nominee.

Yours in Patriotism, Anonymous

So, if you're a lurker, why not leave a comment? You'll make my day and possibly your own, too.



Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

I was going to leave a smartass comment, but then my smartassedness left me. My husband will be thrilled.

Loved this!

September 27, 2008 at 3:29 AM  
Blogger KLS said...

Loved the last one! Often the only computer time I get is when nursing the baby, so it's a wee bit difficult to type. Can't wait until some good news comes my way today!

September 27, 2008 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Manager Mom said...

I left this comment and immediately had multiple orgasms.

September 27, 2008 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger wfbdoglover said...

Take your total comments and divide it by a million and you still have way more than me!

I will wait for good things to happen to me today now.

September 27, 2008 at 8:29 AM  
Blogger Mama Ginger Tree said...

My husband just cooked breakfast, cleaned the dishes and offered to take the kids to his parent's for the day.

Thanks Marinka. I think I want to make out with you.

September 27, 2008 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Mayberry said...

I have left comments before, but clearly I need to step up my output.

September 27, 2008 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

KLS--yay! Thanks for commenting! You know, the whole nursing thing is really overrated. Sure, it's the best for your baby and decreases the risk of breast cancer for you, but can you really afford to forego commenting on my blog? When I put it that way, doesn't the solution seem obvious?


everyone else--such opportunists. But I adore you anyway. Maybe because of the opportunism.

September 27, 2008 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

I'm totally an opportunist. I also do everything women tell me to do. Since you told me to comment, here I am!

September 27, 2008 at 12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to leave a comment about the fabulous things that happen to me because I comment here, but there's no way I can outdo Manager Mom.

September 27, 2008 at 12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I left a comment last time, which I would say exempts me from remaining in that particular category. I must however mention that your post seems rather fallacious, considering I did not have one good thing happen to me subsequent to leaving a comment. Exploiting the littluns? Shame, shame.

September 27, 2008 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger KLS said...

Seriously - the only reason I think I am still nursing her is so that I can get my blog fixes. Otherwise I would have to wait to catch up on what's going on in bloggyland. I should have mentioned in my previous comment that the conversations between you and Husbandrinka never fail to make me laugh.

September 27, 2008 at 2:59 PM  
Blogger Delusional Girl Ruby Soho said...

I've never lest a comment here before, but I will say that I have tons of mustard too. But only because I keep thinking we're out of it and keep buying more. And now? We're out because other people kept stopping me from buying it.

September 27, 2008 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

First time here but didn't want to take on lurker status. I also read your preceding post and enjoyed your wit and humor. I'll be back. I would like to go now to see if Manager Mom's experience happens to more than one commenter.

September 27, 2008 at 3:13 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

You guys are so nice! Thank you for delurking!

Todd--That's great to know! Could you please solve the country's economic crisis and make plaid not be fashionable this fall? Thanks in advance!

Anonymous--there must be some mistake! Perhaps you're not buying enough lottery tickets?

Ruby--look at me, so informal with you. I'll be happy to share our mustard with you, but I've been told it's poison.

HighSchool Teacher--yay that you immediately shed the lurker status!

For everyone else who is somewhat jealous of Manager Mom's experience, I must warn you that she is a premium member. If you are interested in this level of blog reader membership, check it out!

September 27, 2008 at 4:25 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

Dear Marinka,

I commented on your blog and then I got explosive diarrhea. What does that mean?


September 27, 2008 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Mrs. G. said...

I'm off to buy my lottery ticket right now.

September 27, 2008 at 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Paula said...

I'm a terrible commenter. Some sort of phobia. I only found you recently and think you are hilarious. Plus the NY thing. So I'm probably here for good ... but comments? Oy, the stress.

September 27, 2008 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

you totally crack me up. I might just have to start lurking and not commenting, and then comment and ....wait a minute, what was I talking about????

September 27, 2008 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger Heinous said...

If we usually comment, should we become lurkers now? That would almost definitely be welcome in my case.

September 27, 2008 at 8:36 PM  
Blogger heartatpreschool said...

You're Marinkinmecrazy. I don't even know what that means, but thought it up the other day, and since I have no other comment, I thought I'd tell you about it.

September 28, 2008 at 12:39 AM  
Blogger Maura said...

I haven't been a lurker in, like, days so I think that blows the luck thing. But sign me up as a premium member because that freaking rocks. But do queens actually cash their own checks?

September 28, 2008 at 1:50 AM  
Blogger binks said...

F**k, I have been leaving comments.
I was hoping for some of manager mom's mojo.

September 28, 2008 at 2:41 AM  
Anonymous jos said...

haha, you got me... persistent lurker, 1st time poster. love your blog!

September 28, 2008 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Heather--it means that the constipation that you've been struggling with is no longer a problem! Congrats!

Mrs. G--I hope you bought the right lottery ticket! Because I don't want to be blamed if you didn't!

Paula--anyone who works in an "oy" into the comments, rocks in my book. (I can't get away with saying things like "rocks" and "dude", can I?)

Vodka and Heinous--Just try and stop leaving comments. You don't want to see me angry. Btw, my son got an Incredible Hulk costume for Halloween.

PreschoolHeart--I love Marinkenmecrazy! I am going to steal it and trademark it. Thanks!

Maura--That's a good point about the check cashing. Maybe you can just wire the money directly into my account. Wait, are you trying to be Vice Queen?

Binks--I'm sure that there will be opportunities for long time commentors to cash in on some great luck.

Jos--thanks for delurking! I hope that many great things happen to you today and that you give me all the credit!

September 28, 2008 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Quart said...

Honestly, I find it very difficult to come up with anything even close to your level of wit, so I'll just start saying "hi." Does that count?

September 28, 2008 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger ms. changes pants while driving said...

blah blahblahblah blah.

i'm only leaving this comment to win a car from oprah.

blah blah... loveyou meanit.

ps, why the deuce was your word verification so easy? it didn't have letters like vv and w next to each other and i didn't even want to PUNCH babies to post a comment. who'd you sleep with?

September 29, 2008 at 1:37 AM  
Blogger jen said...

i usually don't lurk...
i comment too much.
but, if another comment will help the extra pounds melt away...i'm gonna try it.

September 29, 2008 at 2:29 PM  
Blogger melissa said...

delurking now. i need more time in the day to enjoy all the blogs AND comment now that i have delurked...

September 29, 2008 at 9:56 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Oh hi.

Mayberry sent me.

October 1, 2008 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Z said...

Dude. So true. I leave comments today, AND I catch the pee-bandit. You are awesome :)

October 13, 2008 at 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Lish said...

I lurk. And I have WAY too much to say which is why I don't comment. You'll be telling me to get my own damn blog.

October 20, 2008 at 10:14 PM  
Anonymous Lish said...

Well, I just tried to leave a comment, and it didn't save so I'm going back to my lurker status.

October 20, 2008 at 10:17 PM  

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