Ouhr Wahr!
Ok, so that car is all packed, the kids are ready and I am in pre-nervous breakdown mode. This could only mean one thing--it's Sunday! I mean, we're going on vacation!
I was supposed to finish packing last night, but I thought that the packing would go better if I fortified myself with some wine. I figured since every single time in my life when I drank wine I got sleepy, the law of averages said that if I got drunk last night, I would get super-energized and start power packing. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at this law of averages crap, and I fell asleep immediately after, oh, 9 pm. The good news is that I am well-rested. The bad news is that my husband had this conversation this morning:
Husband: Why are you packing the Channukah candles?
Me: I'm so tired of your snide anti-Semitic remarks.
The good news is that my kids and I had this conversation this morning:
Me: Should we take the fake poop on vacation with us?
Kids: Duh.
So, we're all set! I did decide not to take the Channukah candles. Although I am taking some bagels. And just to make sure that I offend everyone with my religious jokes--did you know that the Church is now offering Weight Watchers host wafers? It's called "I can't believe it's not Jesus." My friend John told it to me. Like a year ago, so I figure his moral rights to the joke have expired and I can use it. As a matter of fact, I'm rethinking crediting him with it. Unless you're offended, of course. Then it's totally his fault!
Bye! See you in a week! Or tomorrow, if I get internet access.
I was supposed to finish packing last night, but I thought that the packing would go better if I fortified myself with some wine. I figured since every single time in my life when I drank wine I got sleepy, the law of averages said that if I got drunk last night, I would get super-energized and start power packing. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at this law of averages crap, and I fell asleep immediately after, oh, 9 pm. The good news is that I am well-rested. The bad news is that my husband had this conversation this morning:
Husband: Why are you packing the Channukah candles?
Me: I'm so tired of your snide anti-Semitic remarks.
The good news is that my kids and I had this conversation this morning:
Me: Should we take the fake poop on vacation with us?
Kids: Duh.
So, we're all set! I did decide not to take the Channukah candles. Although I am taking some bagels. And just to make sure that I offend everyone with my religious jokes--did you know that the Church is now offering Weight Watchers host wafers? It's called "I can't believe it's not Jesus." My friend John told it to me. Like a year ago, so I figure his moral rights to the joke have expired and I can use it. As a matter of fact, I'm rethinking crediting him with it. Unless you're offended, of course. Then it's totally his fault!
Bye! See you in a week! Or tomorrow, if I get internet access.
posted by Marinka at
10:22 AM
10 Comments:
you better come back tan and hungover.
*snort*
*giggle*
I don't have to understand your jokes to say have a good vacation, right?
:) Have a good one!
GOOD LUCK with your vacation (an odd thing to say, perhaps, but in your case I feel the most appropriate one!)
You have got to be the funniest human. Ever.
Ahahahahaha, you crack me up.
Have an AWESOME vacation!
I can't wait to hear what the fake poop did on vacation!
Have fun on vacation. Take heart in the fact you've made it though the hardest part...packing. Don't worry about that other hurdle just yet...coming home.
How odd that you brought up a religious joke. My last post was one big one that will probably get me sent straight to hell.
Hope you are basking in fun. Or alcohol, one or the other.
I need a vacation, take me with you!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home