Shit
You know how sometimes, for fun, we do one of those "My Week in Review" posts and it's something like:
Monday--woke up feeling great, but then chipped a nail. Damn it! Need a new manicure!
Tuesday--Tivo didn't record "Live with Regis and Kelly". Can't cope.
I did one of those not too long ago. Here.
I'm not doing one this week, because in short hand, this is what my week was like:
Monday: Shit
Tuesday: Crap
Wednesday: Manure
Thursday: Shit with a hint of Crap
Friday: Shit with an aura of Crap with a sprinkling of Manure
(ok, is it me, or is my week starting to sound like a scatological fusion restaurant?)
So, today, after work, I decided to get a lottery ticket. I never get lottery tickets because I am very judgmental and there's something very trashy about them, I think. Except for scratch off tickets. Or maybe especially those. But in my opinion, you can't really get those unless you're wearing Lee Press-On Nails and chewing Bubble Yum, and I have short nails and dental work, so both options are out.
But today I figured, what the fuck?
I got the regular Lotto ticket, I think the prize is $44 million. I specifically asked the clerk to give me the winning ticket, so I'm all set. Really, the drawing is just a formality. He asked me if I wanted a lump-sum or the annuity and I asked him about the tax consequences of each and he just sort of stared at me blankly. Excuse me, but if a customer asks for some tax planning advice, shouldn't he able to provide it?
Anyway, I chose the lump sum because I figure I could really use it. With the week I've had and all.
Monday--woke up feeling great, but then chipped a nail. Damn it! Need a new manicure!
Tuesday--Tivo didn't record "Live with Regis and Kelly". Can't cope.
I did one of those not too long ago. Here.
I'm not doing one this week, because in short hand, this is what my week was like:
Monday: Shit
Tuesday: Crap
Wednesday: Manure
Thursday: Shit with a hint of Crap
Friday: Shit with an aura of Crap with a sprinkling of Manure
(ok, is it me, or is my week starting to sound like a scatological fusion restaurant?)
So, today, after work, I decided to get a lottery ticket. I never get lottery tickets because I am very judgmental and there's something very trashy about them, I think. Except for scratch off tickets. Or maybe especially those. But in my opinion, you can't really get those unless you're wearing Lee Press-On Nails and chewing Bubble Yum, and I have short nails and dental work, so both options are out.
But today I figured, what the fuck?
I got the regular Lotto ticket, I think the prize is $44 million. I specifically asked the clerk to give me the winning ticket, so I'm all set. Really, the drawing is just a formality. He asked me if I wanted a lump-sum or the annuity and I asked him about the tax consequences of each and he just sort of stared at me blankly. Excuse me, but if a customer asks for some tax planning advice, shouldn't he able to provide it?
Anyway, I chose the lump sum because I figure I could really use it. With the week I've had and all.
posted by Marinka at
7:04 PM
6 Comments:
Hmmmm. So we are both in the shit this week? Perfect. Good luck! Don't forget me when you win.
I rarely play the lottery, but for whatever reason a few weeks ago we decided to buy a ticket. We won...$3. And we thought paying for college was going to be a struggle. Whew. So glad we won the lottery.
Sorry you had such a "poopy" week...when you win, can you please send me a cupcake from Magnolia?
When you win - I'm only asking for a pool for my backyard. PLEASE!!!
And if you have so much money that you don't know what to do with it all, I'd like a really hot pool boy to go with it.
Did we have the same week? Because, yes - really. And hey - if you win the lottery, how 'bout a blog giveaway? With a rigged winner? (me me me!)
I always ask for the winning one and those bastards always give me a loser. They suck at Customer Service.
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