Sunday, August 17, 2008

Ouhr Wahr!

Ok, so that car is all packed, the kids are ready and I am in pre-nervous breakdown mode. This could only mean one thing--it's Sunday! I mean, we're going on vacation!

I was supposed to finish packing last night, but I thought that the packing would go better if I fortified myself with some wine. I figured since every single time in my life when I drank wine I got sleepy, the law of averages said that if I got drunk last night, I would get super-energized and start power packing. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at this law of averages crap, and I fell asleep immediately after, oh, 9 pm. The good news is that I am well-rested. The bad news is that my husband had this conversation this morning:

Husband: Why are you packing the Channukah candles?
Me: I'm so tired of your snide anti-Semitic remarks.

The good news is that my kids and I had this conversation this morning:

Me: Should we take the fake poop on vacation with us?
Kids: Duh.

So, we're all set! I did decide not to take the Channukah candles. Although I am taking some bagels. And just to make sure that I offend everyone with my religious jokes--did you know that the Church is now offering Weight Watchers host wafers? It's called "I can't believe it's not Jesus." My friend John told it to me. Like a year ago, so I figure his moral rights to the joke have expired and I can use it. As a matter of fact, I'm rethinking crediting him with it. Unless you're offended, of course. Then it's totally his fault!

Bye! See you in a week! Or tomorrow, if I get internet access.


Anonymous vodkamom said...

you better come back tan and hungover.

August 17, 2008 at 11:36 AM  
Anonymous Yo said...


August 17, 2008 at 6:06 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

I don't have to understand your jokes to say have a good vacation, right?

:) Have a good one!

August 17, 2008 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Z said...

GOOD LUCK with your vacation (an odd thing to say, perhaps, but in your case I feel the most appropriate one!)

August 17, 2008 at 9:34 PM  
Anonymous MomMega said...

You have got to be the funniest human. Ever.

August 18, 2008 at 12:54 AM  
Blogger heartatpreschool said...

Ahahahahaha, you crack me up.

Have an AWESOME vacation!

August 18, 2008 at 3:17 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I can't wait to hear what the fake poop did on vacation!

August 18, 2008 at 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have fun on vacation. Take heart in the fact you've made it though the hardest part...packing. Don't worry about that other hurdle just yet...coming home.

How odd that you brought up a religious joke. My last post was one big one that will probably get me sent straight to hell.

August 18, 2008 at 10:48 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Hope you are basking in fun. Or alcohol, one or the other.

August 18, 2008 at 12:23 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I need a vacation, take me with you!

August 18, 2008 at 2:16 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home