Thursday, March 26, 2009

Guest Blogger: Mama

I called mama. She wasn't overly enthusiastic about being my guest blogger, but finally, she agreed to let me interview her. "So long as it's not too stressful".

Marinka: Just please speak English.

Mama: Oh, crap.

Mama, what do you like most about America?

Och, not again.

What do you mean not again?


Because someone just asked me about this recently. I love everything. If you want the answers to questions, speak to papa.

I already spoke to papa. Let me ask you, how are American women and Russian women different?

American women they're fat.

Russian women are skinny?

Of course. They skinny and they dress better even they don't have this abundance of what you have, this cosmetics and everything.

How do you know the word "abundance"?

I learned it from TV. Everything that is good in me, I learned from TV. All my vocabulary.

What is your favorite TV show?

Two Men and Half.

How come you don't use the computer?

I don't feel necessity yet. I'm ok. I 'm reading books.

Do you remember when I was a teenager and I asked you what fellatio was and you told me the only thing I should put into my mouth is a fork and a toothbrush?

How smart I was!

Why did you say that?

I don't know, It's not kosher. I still have same advice for young girls. And I don't think young girls ask their mothers.

Who should they ask?


They should ask, maybe their priest or rabbi? No, you have to ask mother, but what can you say to young girl?

Any words of wisdom for my readers?

Enjoy life.

What kind of people do you think read blogs?

I can't say.

You can!

Since I'm not enjoying computer, I can't relate to blog, so I can't say who be enjoying. If you're enjoying, it's a fun. I consider it a waste of time.

Thanks, Mama!

18 Comments:

Blogger HoodChick said...

I used to work with a lady from Russia. She cracked me up. She wore the best jewelry. But everyone that talked to her always thought she was pissed off.

March 20, 2009 at 8:18 PM  
Blogger Tooj said...

TV can teach you everything you need to know. And it can also teach you everything you shouldn't know. Mama sounds like a lovely guest blogger. Please have her return again. Wait, return "again" is a bit redundant. I learned that word on tv.

March 20, 2009 at 8:20 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

Mama's right - it's not kosher to put THAT in your mouth.
She sounds like a fountain of wisdom.

March 26, 2009 at 5:12 AM  
Anonymous Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

it's not kosher

LMAO! Crying over here.

Classic.

March 26, 2009 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

It cracks me up that fellatio is not kosher.

March 26, 2009 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

So your poor dad has never gotten, well, you know...a non Kosher act?

March 26, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Deb on the Rocks said...

Two Men and Half! Mama, you think that is a fun, I think it's a waste of time.

She's a doll!

March 26, 2009 at 10:10 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

re: kosher remark. do you think that's why she married a jew? because then, technically, the fellatio would be considered kosher, no?

March 26, 2009 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger A Woman Of No Importance said...

Ah, Marinka, you come from such strong and wise stock - Also stand-out funny, but you knew that right? And if I were to say anything about your mama, I would bet she could hunt me down and beat me with a silver samovar, non?!

March 26, 2009 at 11:17 AM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Your mama sounds even better than your dad!! How cool that you have such wise and entertaining parents!! I love her answer to your *awkward* question!!!

March 26, 2009 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger Coffee with Cathy said...

I love your parents! Please give us more from them.

March 26, 2009 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Your mama is very wise. Quit asking her stuff!

March 26, 2009 at 2:54 PM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I guess it would be too much to ask for a video of mama....

March 26, 2009 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger CSY said...

Oh, your mama is a DOLL!!! When you don't want her anymore I'll trade you my 3 rotten spawn for your mama and papa.

March 27, 2009 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger michelle said...

I know I have asked before, for papa to babysit my kids, btu may I have mama as well? I have 2 girls, and she would certain;y teach them right.. once they learned Russian.

March 27, 2009 at 10:20 AM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

Your mama is so smart.

March 27, 2009 at 10:30 AM  
Blogger Maggie, Dammit said...

I am SO telling Dave it's not kosher next time. He can go watch Two Men and Half.

I LOVED THIS.

Say hello to your mama, k?

March 27, 2009 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Kari said...

My Mom's favorite show is Two and a Half Men too. What is it with that show?

April 1, 2009 at 12:49 AM  

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