Saturday, September 6, 2008

Week In Review

A Look Back

Sunday: Marinka is upstate with her husband, kids, and parents. They decide to go play miniature golf. Kids wage WWIII about which miniature golf course they should go to. Halfway through the Battle of the Unfairness, they realize that they both want to go to the same golf course. After momentarily being stunned by their agreement, the kids immediately regroup, change strategy and both want to go to the other golf course, until they finally settle on each one wanting to go to a different one, so that the Conflict of the Century can proceed as scheduled.

Monday: Labor Day. Marinka and family drive back home, using a new route discovered by Marinka's husband. Husband nearly breaks own arm patting himself on the back for avoiding traffic by taking new alternate route. Marinka accidentally severs own tongue when she bites on it to stop herself from making a marriage ending observation that they also seemed to have avoided NYC, although the tour of the New Jersey bedroom communities has been, indeed, lovely.

Tuesday: Marinka has no memory whatsoever of this day. As a result, an alien abduction cannot be ruled out.

Wednesday: Visiting Day at the kids' school. An annual tradition where parents wrangle their asses into miniature chairs and tell each other how fast the summer flew by.

Thursday: First day of school. Marinka lovingly asks children how the day went. Son says, "I was at school, how do you think it went?" Daughter presents Marinka with a list of items that she requires for academic success.

After an audit, Marinka questions why her daughter needs both mechanical pencils(designated as "metallic pencil") and a pencil sharpener. Daughter relents. Marinka puts pencil sharpener on eBay. A politician is born.

Friday: Marinka gets a feeling that something bad will happen and is feeling jumpy. It is a hurricane, somewhere, and her husband is flying back to NYC over the somewhere hurricane. Also, the Starbucks guy gave Marinka a coffee, rather than a decaf, at 4 pm. Marinka is sure of it. Marinka stays up waiting for her husband, and through the art of magical thinking, keeps the plane in the air. Unfortunately, at about 2 am, when the plane is supposed to land, Marinka falls asleep and is unable to land the plane, so her husband's plane has to circle the airport for a while. Marinka feels guilty but because she is not stupid, she does not tell her husband about it. Marinka must now kill all blog readers so that they don't tell him about it, either.

Saturday: Marinka realizes that she is now referring to herself in the third person, and wonders what this means. Marinka assumes that it is evidence of mental health and radiating beauty. Marinka also remembers that she spent the morning reading Bossy's blog and is now copying her style. Marinka promises to stop doing it soon.

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Anonymous sdl said...

Awww, she's at the hearts-for-dots stage!

I'm sure that week was much funnier to read through than it was to live through, so thanks!

September 6, 2008 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I can't believe you have the time to...BE you. And with little ones besides! And miniature golf, my least favorite activity!

I can't believe you didn't have one glass of wine during the entire week. What a trooper!

September 6, 2008 at 8:02 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I heart the hearts, too. It's nice to be sweet. :)

September 6, 2008 at 8:55 PM  
Blogger Heinous said...

Make sure those magnets are pretty or else those 'C's are on your head.

P.S. Let me hit the insurance agent before you kill me...

September 6, 2008 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

That is exhausting work keeping an airplane aloft.

And at least you stuck to third person. I shift from first to third, sometimes in the same sentence.

xoxo, SG

September 6, 2008 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger PsychMamma said...

Maybe the third-person speech resulted from Tuesday's alien abduction.......

September 6, 2008 at 9:46 PM  
Blogger Mama Ginger Tree said...

Mama Ginger Tree wonders what the box of pretty magnets is for?

September 6, 2008 at 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd try to say something funny, but I'm still laughing at the pencil sharpener on E-Bay.

September 7, 2008 at 2:24 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

I'd try to say something funny, but I'm still laughing hysterically about MGT using the third person. Anymommy thought immediately about Bossy's blog and wondered if Marinka read it. Bossy even comments in the third person.

End TP. The mini gold war that almost wasn't a war killed me from the funnies! Also, your comment on five star friday was the hilarious!!!

September 7, 2008 at 2:24 PM  
Blogger wfbdoglover said...

LMAO - I loved the mini golf course that turned out to be the same place... That's something that would happen between me and my mom.

September 7, 2008 at 2:48 PM  
Anonymous MomMega said...

Tuesday had to be my favorite! Hilarious as always!!

September 7, 2008 at 5:42 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

SDL--you mean you're no longer at the heart for dots stage? I am myself am entering a Tears for Fears stage! Wouldn't it be cool it we could heart dot on line?

Wendy--oh, yeah, wine. In the future, unless stated to contrary, please assume that I am drinking nonstop. And if it's stated to the contrary, don't believe it.

Melissa-We are all Heart fans here!

Heinous--Thank you for understanding the pressure I'm under with the magnets! Insurance? What, are you trying to get me into insurance fraud now, with the premeditated murder and everything? Because that's the last thing that I need right now.

Amy--it IS totally exhausting, and no one appreciates it. You'd think that the aviation people would send me weekly paychecks or something.

Psychomomma--You are totally on to something. And by "you", I mean the formal you/plural that they have in the Romance languages. Like "usted".

MGT-lol! It's for my daughter's locker. I was going to write a post about it, but now I think it deserves its own blog or website or something. This is the first year that she has a locker and it's like the new locker is a member of our family or something. A favorite member of our family. That must be decorated extensively and expensively.

Insta-mom-- ;)

Anymommy--Marinka forgot to comment in the third person and now Marinka is fuming because she is too lazy to change all the previous responses. Marinka thinks that maybe Anymommy could have made this suggestion earlier.

WFB--lol, kids and parents, right?

mommega--thanks. Although you seem to be insensitive to my potential abduction.

September 7, 2008 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

I'm not reading this, so don't kill me.

So I have no witty comment, since I didn't read it.

(Suppose I gave it away when I said, "Don't kill me.")

September 8, 2008 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Z said...

I love your week in review(s)... And I personally think I'm abducted by aliens every Tuesday, since I never remember them. Or, perhaps, are Tuesdays just a figment of our collective imagination? Hmmm...

September 8, 2008 at 8:06 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I love Bossy's blog and often catch myself thinking in the third person when beginning a blog post...I'm not brave enough to attempt it though.

September 8, 2008 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger ms. changes pants while driving said...

i would have given her everything that included a heart dotted i. i hate flying and insist on sitting near the wings so i can will them to stay on. the bloody marys before and on the flight, coupled with the dramamine makes it hard to stay awake, but i do it.

September 8, 2008 at 5:16 PM  

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