Thursday, August 28, 2008

Questions

My husband recently told me that he does not want to answer my hypothetical questions anymore. Or other questions that he sees as "traps".

I think that this is unfair.

I am listing several hypothetical scenarios that he recently evaded, just so that you can see how silly he is being.

1. If I died and you were getting remarried, what would your vows be?

2. If we suddenly found out that you are not our children's biological father, would you still love them as much?

3. Oh yeah, well, why do you object then when I introduce you at parties as "my children's biological father"?

4. Let's say that I maxed out all our credit cards on a winning fall wardrobe. Would you eventually forgive me? And how long would this "eventually" be?

5. Would you still love me if I had a penis?

6. Why would you still love me if I had a penis? DO YOU NOT LOVE ME WITHOUT A PENIS?

7. If you were to leave me for another woman, who would it be?

8. If we were getting a divorce, would you get a really aggressive lawyer, or try to mediate with me?

9. I said, "mediate", not "meditate". But what's wrong with "meditation"?

10. No, not "medicate". Although if you had to "medicate" me, what pills would you choose? And would you make sure that I could still drink when I was on them?

11. Do you think that I gained more weight on my thighs or stomach?

Labels:

14 Comments:

Blogger Melissa said...

Oh yeah. Those are traps. But exquisite, funny traps that you should lay out every once in a while. :)

August 28, 2008 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger Jozette said...

aaaaaaaaahhahahahhahha. this really made me laugh. like, out loud. you could even say i lol'ed. or, um... l'ed o l. yep.

August 28, 2008 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Mama Ginger Tree said...

You husband provides lots of good blog material.

August 28, 2008 at 1:42 PM  
OpenID h31n0us said...

Traps, all of them. It's best to walk away since they are usually too complicated to defuse. I can't do this with my wife and you've opened the door...

1. I could never even consider getting remarried after the perfection that is you dear.
2. Them sure, you no.
3. I won't anymore as long as I can intro you as, 'the oven the buns came outta.
4. Yes, in ten years when you're still wearing that awesome wardrobe.
5. Yes, but from afar.
6. *silence*
7. see #1, then *no response to further questions*
8. It would be your choice love of my life, you take it all.
9. Nothing at all, I think I will right now, *silence*
10 cyani...um...vodka. and yes, you can still drink while on vodka.
11. I thought you had lost in both areas.

all in fun...guys gotta try where we can.

August 28, 2008 at 2:18 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Melissa- traps of love, you mean!

Jozette-L'd oL sounds strangely French to me. Oui, it does.

Mama Ginger Tree- he does, and the best part is that he doesn't even know it!

H31-Nicely done, my hat's off to you. Except that I wasn't wearing a hat.

August 28, 2008 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

I love stopping by here for my quick laugh in the morning. You consistently deliver. It's quite a gift you have. Two gifts rolled into one really: brilliant sarcasm and husband torture.

August 28, 2008 at 4:52 PM  
Blogger Z said...

Bwahaha! Maybe I should ask my husband some of those??? On second thought... Nah...

August 28, 2008 at 7:07 PM  
Anonymous sdl said...

I think it might be time for you to stop being on vacation and go back to work. I am 99% sure that Mr. Marinka would agree with me.

August 28, 2008 at 8:26 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

now you are REALLY cracking me up! I love these no win scenarios. HA We so need to have drinks together. I'll buy.

1000. If you could only have drinks with one funny, twisted blogger, who would it be???

August 31, 2008 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger texasholly said...

HE IS SOOOO UNREASONABLE! Those are perfectly good questions that need answers ASAP.

I loved this!

Thanks for linking today!

November 5, 2008 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Debbie said...

This is hysterical. Are you going to post his answers that we can't infer?

November 5, 2008 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger TX Poppet said...

Very funny! So glad I found this post via Holly.

November 5, 2008 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger Connie said...

I think those are all legitimate questions.

Very Funny!

November 5, 2008 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

I hope you don't mind...I'm stealing all those questions. My standard, "Does this make me look fat?" has worn so thin and I'm just not nearly as good as you.
In fact, I think I'll try them tonight...I'll let you know how it goes!

November 5, 2008 at 9:11 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home