Questions
My husband recently told me that he does not want to answer my hypothetical questions anymore. Or other questions that he sees as "traps".
I think that this is unfair.
I am listing several hypothetical scenarios that he recently evaded, just so that you can see how silly he is being.
1. If I died and you were getting remarried, what would your vows be?
2. If we suddenly found out that you are not our children's biological father, would you still love them as much?
3. Oh yeah, well, why do you object then when I introduce you at parties as "my children's biological father"?
4. Let's say that I maxed out all our credit cards on a winning fall wardrobe. Would you eventually forgive me? And how long would this "eventually" be?
5. Would you still love me if I had a penis?
6. Why would you still love me if I had a penis? DO YOU NOT LOVE ME WITHOUT A PENIS?
7. If you were to leave me for another woman, who would it be?
8. If we were getting a divorce, would you get a really aggressive lawyer, or try to mediate with me?
9. I said, "mediate", not "meditate". But what's wrong with "meditation"?
10. No, not "medicate". Although if you had to "medicate" me, what pills would you choose? And would you make sure that I could still drink when I was on them?
11. Do you think that I gained more weight on my thighs or stomach?
I think that this is unfair.
I am listing several hypothetical scenarios that he recently evaded, just so that you can see how silly he is being.
1. If I died and you were getting remarried, what would your vows be?
2. If we suddenly found out that you are not our children's biological father, would you still love them as much?
3. Oh yeah, well, why do you object then when I introduce you at parties as "my children's biological father"?
4. Let's say that I maxed out all our credit cards on a winning fall wardrobe. Would you eventually forgive me? And how long would this "eventually" be?
5. Would you still love me if I had a penis?
6. Why would you still love me if I had a penis? DO YOU NOT LOVE ME WITHOUT A PENIS?
7. If you were to leave me for another woman, who would it be?
8. If we were getting a divorce, would you get a really aggressive lawyer, or try to mediate with me?
9. I said, "mediate", not "meditate". But what's wrong with "meditation"?
10. No, not "medicate". Although if you had to "medicate" me, what pills would you choose? And would you make sure that I could still drink when I was on them?
11. Do you think that I gained more weight on my thighs or stomach?
Labels: Husbandrinka
posted by Marinka at
8:13 AM
14 Comments:
Oh yeah. Those are traps. But exquisite, funny traps that you should lay out every once in a while. :)
aaaaaaaaahhahahahhahha. this really made me laugh. like, out loud. you could even say i lol'ed. or, um... l'ed o l. yep.
You husband provides lots of good blog material.
Traps, all of them. It's best to walk away since they are usually too complicated to defuse. I can't do this with my wife and you've opened the door...
1. I could never even consider getting remarried after the perfection that is you dear.
2. Them sure, you no.
3. I won't anymore as long as I can intro you as, 'the oven the buns came outta.
4. Yes, in ten years when you're still wearing that awesome wardrobe.
5. Yes, but from afar.
6. *silence*
7. see #1, then *no response to further questions*
8. It would be your choice love of my life, you take it all.
9. Nothing at all, I think I will right now, *silence*
10 cyani...um...vodka. and yes, you can still drink while on vodka.
11. I thought you had lost in both areas.
all in fun...guys gotta try where we can.
Melissa- traps of love, you mean!
Jozette-L'd oL sounds strangely French to me. Oui, it does.
Mama Ginger Tree- he does, and the best part is that he doesn't even know it!
H31-Nicely done, my hat's off to you. Except that I wasn't wearing a hat.
I love stopping by here for my quick laugh in the morning. You consistently deliver. It's quite a gift you have. Two gifts rolled into one really: brilliant sarcasm and husband torture.
Bwahaha! Maybe I should ask my husband some of those??? On second thought... Nah...
I think it might be time for you to stop being on vacation and go back to work. I am 99% sure that Mr. Marinka would agree with me.
now you are REALLY cracking me up! I love these no win scenarios. HA We so need to have drinks together. I'll buy.
1000. If you could only have drinks with one funny, twisted blogger, who would it be???
HE IS SOOOO UNREASONABLE! Those are perfectly good questions that need answers ASAP.
I loved this!
Thanks for linking today!
This is hysterical. Are you going to post his answers that we can't infer?
Very funny! So glad I found this post via Holly.
I think those are all legitimate questions.
Very Funny!
I hope you don't mind...I'm stealing all those questions. My standard, "Does this make me look fat?" has worn so thin and I'm just not nearly as good as you.
In fact, I think I'll try them tonight...I'll let you know how it goes!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home