Tuesday, June 23, 2009


You know how I usually blog every day and I haven't for the past two days and you probably thought that I was dead? Well, the good news is that as of 3:30 Tuesday afternoon I am not, but the bad news is that I am recovering from last night's Jon & Kate Plus Eight episode and will be so for the foreseeable future.

I think that they are trying to destroy my marriage. The uber-popular Gosselins Without Pity blog asked me to recap an episode for their blog and I happily agreed. I've never been asked to recap anything before (probably because all other recap sites are anti-Semitic) so I took my assignment extremely seriously. As though I were overseeing President Obama's launch into space with the Jolie-Pitt twins. I'm picking the twins because they are the youngest and the most vulnerable. Not because they're the whitest.

Anyway, I made sure that both DVRs were recording and then, ten minutes into it, I positioned myself with my mini to watch and recap.

Now I've mentioned before that Husbandrinka and I are televisionally incompatible. I love trash TV and he doesn't understand why we need a television set. I gloss over our differences by pretending that I am either not watching TV or am constantly checking the weather. He is usually working in the office, but yesterday he was in the bedroom, where I was watching the goodness, packing for a trip. Or to leave me forever.

"Why are there so many of them?" he asked.
"They're sextuplets," I explained while typing away. OMG, am I supposed to do a transcript like retelling?
"There are more than six," he told me.
"Listen," I said, hitting the pause button. "You can't talk to me while I'm doing this. I have to concentrate." I rewound a little.
"Why do you have to concentrate? I don't even understand why you're doing this. Can't people just watch it themselves, does it really have to be explained to them?"
This is what I have to live with.

It's like the drama of Jon & Kate is playing itself out in my very own bedroom. All I need are six extra kids to come around. And maybe some freebies.
So now that the show is on hiatus (you know, for a month), I am ready to take over.

TLC, call me!

I only have two kids, but I can make it seem like a lot more.

And don't miss more life saving advice--are we all responsible for the mess that is Jon & Kate?


Blogger bernthis said...

thank you for saving me an hour of my life. I only want the highlights anyway.

June 23, 2009 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

A Marink-cap of the finale?! Cool!

June 23, 2009 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger Z said...

Dude. I am soooo reading that recap. I refused to watch the episode on moral grounds (or, you know, because I was watchig other crap TV) but Marinka + J&K+8 recap? SOOOOO there! ;)

June 23, 2009 at 6:33 PM  
Blogger Roshni said...

its a good thing you're doing this coz I had no idea what everyone was talking about and now I can totally say I WAS watching the show! Whew!

June 23, 2009 at 6:35 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Your recap was hilarious! I don't have cable so can't watch the show but love me some drama so of course have been watching clips of the show on youtube and reading every juicy story about them in the tabloids.

June 23, 2009 at 6:58 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I normally lurk, but this brought me out of lurkdom...

That recap was hilarious. Great job! My husband and I (yes, we both watched the show last night...) were asking ourselves questions and immediately answering them all night.

June 23, 2009 at 9:09 PM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

Thank GOD you were able to recap it. I can't wait to read this, for two reasons:
1) I didn't watch it because I had better things to do with my life. Like learn about structure and interpretation of computer programs. Or maybe read popsugar.com.
2) Reading your recap of John and Kate is like reading Shakespeare's recap of whatever the hell it was that happened in popular culture in the 1500s. Brilliant. I laughed out loud so hard that Mr. B kindly asked me if I'd like a tranquilizer. He keeps them handy.

June 23, 2009 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

Could you recap every episode in every season for me? I've only seen the show once, and I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Oh, and the one I watched was like some sort of strange recap show in itself. . . like a "best of" show. . . so you won't have to recap that one for me. . .

June 23, 2009 at 9:49 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Doesn't Niki count for like nine kids?

Clearly TLC will be calling you any day now.

June 23, 2009 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger Christy said...

When TLC calls, you have to keep up this blog no matter what.

Hysterical recap. And I did watch the show - then promptly cancelled my dvr recording for future shows - I can't stand it anymore!

June 23, 2009 at 10:20 PM  
Blogger SweetPeaSurry said...

Heh ... I've never seen J+K+8. I think it would frighten me into becoming an agoraphobic person, and using way to many pleasure toys.

June 23, 2009 at 10:52 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Nothing better than being a single gal with 8 kids? No. That won't hurt her dating odds.

June 23, 2009 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger  said...

"televisionally incompatible"

I am so using that :)

June 24, 2009 at 1:30 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

For God's sake! Who are these people? We've never heard of them in Europe...

June 24, 2009 at 4:56 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

Oh Please! You so did choose the twins because they are the whitest!

June 24, 2009 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger Everyday Goddess said...

I love a good recap!

June 24, 2009 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Welcome back! And it's good to know when that show ends I can look forward to yours!

June 24, 2009 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

I'm going to check out your recap. I like to keep my husband from knowing about the trash I watch. And when I'm on the computer? I'm "working."

June 24, 2009 at 4:41 PM  
Blogger EatPlayLove said...

I just would like to say poor Kate. Yes, I said it! Poor Jon for having children with her and poor Kate for marrying an immature fool. I like them both. I'm done now. Firing squad, load your guns!

June 24, 2009 at 10:52 PM  
Anonymous Halala Mama said...

Ahh..I skipped the announcement show, since it was already on the cover of people magazine anyway. ;) I really wonder how they are going to repackage the show and sell it in the future? And I think I would prefer a husband who didn't watch tv. My husband watches every news show on cable, plus some on the French channel, AND listens to it on the Internet. I reach my breaking point when he is using both the tv and the Internet simultaneously and it is coming in two languages. That is more than a sane woman can take.

June 29, 2009 at 9:10 AM  

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