Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Hypothetical

If your friend John calls you on your cell phone over the weekend, while you're at your son's baseball game and you don't pick up because you are busy cheering or maybe gossiping with other moms, and then he calls again while you're on your way home, and you don't pick up because you are talking to your daughter about the book that she is reading, and then when you are at home, he calls the third time, and as you pick up, you hear him unleash a string of profanities the mildest one of which is "Where is that fucking whore?" because he knows that you'd get a kick out of it, what do you do?

Well, if you're me, you pretend that you're my daughter and say, "Uncle John, is that you?" because that totally scared the shit out of him and taught him a lesson.


Marinka: 1
John: 12,485

34 Comments:

Blogger Christy said...

Oh that is priceless.

June 16, 2009 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger daydreamymama said...

Hilarious. You're a fucking genius.

June 16, 2009 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

You won the battle but it seems that John is winning the war.

June 16, 2009 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

Hahahaha. That sounds fun.

I'm going to say "Where is that fucking whore/asshole?" everyone time I call someone just to give them the chance to pull a good line like that on me, then we can both laugh about it afterwards.

I'm going to start by calling my wife in just a minute.

June 16, 2009 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

EXCELLENT! So funny - wish we had a picture of his face when you did that.

June 16, 2009 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Belle said...

You need to work on your score!

June 16, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger Frau said...

i have to agree with Belle, you need to get even!

June 16, 2009 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Keyona said...

And now the crown is yours to own!

June 16, 2009 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger Momo Fali said...

Nicely done.

June 16, 2009 at 11:08 AM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

OMG - that's great!

June 16, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

How do you get people to call you nasty names? You won't believe this, but no one has ever called me any sort of derogatory name, at least to my face. The worst was "The Ice Queen". You all have to think of something nasty and appropriate to call me.....

June 16, 2009 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love how fast you think on your feet.

June 16, 2009 at 12:27 PM  
Anonymous Coco said...

That is rich.

June 16, 2009 at 1:29 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i'm guessing that by "cheering or maybe gossiping," you mean "drinking or maybe free-basing," and by "daughter" you mean "girlfriend", "book" = "man-slut", and "reading" = "blowing"?

June 16, 2009 at 1:57 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

bwahahahahaaaaa brilliant!!!!

June 16, 2009 at 2:00 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I would love to hear about John's 12,485 comebacks!! Does he have a blog???!!!!!!!!!

June 16, 2009 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger Tooj said...

And was his incessant ringing necessary? A dire emergency? "Big enough" to excuse the whore comment? LOL

June 16, 2009 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

Perfect!

Next time really DO have her answer it.

June 16, 2009 at 5:08 PM  
Blogger K said...

I love it.

I need to think quicker on my feet.

June 16, 2009 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Elisa said...

LOL

Good call :-) next time he'll call and be all unicorns and rainbows. Or maybe not ;-)

June 16, 2009 at 8:15 PM  
Blogger Nenette AM said...

Sweet!

June 16, 2009 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger p.huong said...

Very nice. I wouldn't be quick enough to think of that. My automatic response would be to yell back, "I'm right here, Nut Face!"

June 16, 2009 at 8:33 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

You are AWESOME. I never would have thought that quickly.

June 16, 2009 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Mags said...

Hysterical!

June 16, 2009 at 10:04 PM  
Blogger blognut said...

Good thinking!

June 16, 2009 at 10:15 PM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

Ahhh, there's nothing like a few choice insults to let you know you are loved.

June 16, 2009 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

You should have gotten at least ten points for that one. Brilliant.

June 16, 2009 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

So when is John going to start a blog. Or can he do a guest post?

June 17, 2009 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

Update: My wife didn't understand the game.

June 17, 2009 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

AWESOME!!! That's just too funny1 I would've LOVED to see his face when you said that!

June 17, 2009 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger EatPlayLove said...

Nice, definitely a good one on the fly. Something I probably would have thought of after the fact.

June 17, 2009 at 11:15 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Oh, you got him gooood!
You should've given yourself a tad bit more than a measly 1 for it.

June 17, 2009 at 10:42 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

That was pretty brilliant.

June 18, 2009 at 3:49 PM  
OpenID mommygeekology said...

I'd hate to be near you on April Fools day.

June 19, 2009 at 9:06 AM  

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