Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Contest: Nicki Needs a Middle Name

We realized this week that our beloved cat Nicki doesn't have a middle name. In my kids' eyes, that's sort of like our beloved cat Nicki not having food and water.

This must be remedied immediately and I am turning to you for suggestions. Because you were invaluable in naming my son's loose teeth.

Some friendly reminders:

Photos of Nicki can be found in Nightly Nicki. You should probably study them for a few hours for inspiration.

Story of Nicki's adoption!

Don't miss the prequel!

Nicki's story in her own words!

Nicki's Facebook 25 Random Things About Me post.

Nicki's shelter name was Kendra.

After we've had Nicki for about a week and ordered her a monogrammed wardrobe, my daughter wanted to name her Lexi.

So, in addition to seeking a middle name, we are also looking for Nicki names in the following categories:

1. Stripper name (Lexi so doesn't have a lock on it!)
2. Porn name
3. WalMart name
4. Jewish name
5. Star Wars name

Please submit your nomination in comments, specifying the category in which you are competing.

Winners will be selected based on who submits the best name. (Ok, duh? What's the point the random selection of winners? Isn't this what's wrong with America today? Yes, your suggestion of Stripey Tabby is great! You win! )

Good luck! Oh, and there's no prize. Because I don't know if you've noticed, but the economy is shit and I can't afford to hire a cleaning lady.

Unless not having a prize is really bad for contests. In which case, the winner can name Anymommy's baby. I mean, she hasn't totally agreed to this, but I think that's just because I haven't asked her yet. But I'm sure that when she hears how much this would mean to me, well not to me, exactly, but to my blog, maybe not the whole blog, but this post, definitely, she will definitely agree.

So, come up with great Nicki names and the winner will get to name Anymommy's baby. Do contests get better than that?


Blogger SubWife said...

How about Dalilah? Yeah, Dalilah, for the category of your choosing. I know it's not funny, but it's kind of late and I am all out of sense of humor, and if I ever had a cat, I would totally name her that.

June 3, 2009 at 12:35 AM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Obviously, Rumpelstiltskinrinka, if you are going to give up my fourth born child's name as a pawn in your blog contest, the damn cat's middle name is Stacey.

Nicki Stacey Rinka. That counts for the Jewish category too. Because I was raised sort of, kind of, very loosely in the Jewish faith.

June 3, 2009 at 12:55 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Surely it has to Darth (category 5). You could even make her wear a little Darth helmet and black cape.

June 3, 2009 at 12:57 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hmm, why did I think that her middle name was already Sheridan?

But my entry is Slutula...for all of the categories :)

June 3, 2009 at 1:57 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

Nicki 'the Litter' could be her mafia name.

Nicki Nighthawker is her Star Wars name. Or how about: Schmock?

Talullah Sticky - porn name.

Demi-show-us-Moore - stripper name.

Menachemah - Jewish name

Wal-mart name: Suzy-Lee Beaver

June 3, 2009 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger jen said...

i love anymommy. but i don't really want to explain that prize to my husband.
middle name ... marie. which doesn't sound funny until you realize that ALL of our pets growing up had marie as their middle name. sasha marie. (which so sounds like a porn name - so i'm entering it). callie marie. henry marie. see?
1. nickilicious. (stripper)
2. sasha marie. (porn)
3. pat. (walmart - in honor of my aunt that just passed away that WORKED at walmart).
4. abigail yosephina.
5. n1k1 (star wars)

June 3, 2009 at 8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Licky Nicki for a porn name

June 3, 2009 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger jmt said...

I'm only competing in the Wal-mart category. Because everyone I know at Wal-Mart goes by their middle name, I suggest you change Nicki to her middle name but her name tag would read:

Bertha Nicki Savethecats

June 3, 2009 at 9:55 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

Stripper Name - Nudey Nicki

Porn name - Nicki Licki

Walmart Name - Trailer Cat

Jewish Name - Golda Mykitty

Star Wars - C3Nicki-oh

June 3, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

Is this another one of the blogs where you try to make us do all the work?

June 3, 2009 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger expateek said...

I think Stripey Tabby would be a good name. Except spell it as one word... Nicki StripeyTabby Rinka. And when you say it, you have to say it in italics. Harder than it looks!

June 3, 2009 at 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

Nikita Marinovna. Obvs.

June 3, 2009 at 12:10 PM  
Anonymous Maureen at IslandRoar said...

Jaba, as in Jaba the Hun.
Niki Jaba sounds so.....right.

June 3, 2009 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Sue Wilkey said...

I'm going to go with "Shaquanda".

June 3, 2009 at 1:46 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Stripper Name "Darling Nikki"
Walmart Name "Carlene Dawn"
Jewish Name "Hadar" (which means Glory, or Citrus Fruits)
Porn Name "Nikki Darling"
Star Wars Name "Ikkin" (Nikki spelled backwards!)

June 3, 2009 at 1:47 PM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

So.... all the women shopping at Target today were like staring at me wondering, "What the fuck is up with *that* lady?"

There I was, getting only the things on my list, because my mind was occupied trying to find Nikki the cat a reputable porn name. I was laughing to myself. Heh. Smiling at rolls of toilet paper.

This is what happens when you scroll through you reader at breakfast.

June 3, 2009 at 2:28 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

recording artist "slave" name: the cat previously known as kendra.

June 3, 2009 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger Ann Imig said...

I just want you to know that my brother and I really gave our childhood cat a hebrew name:

Fig Newton.

We also conducted seders in an air tent (sheet and portable fan) where we served only bologna slices.

If only I were kidding.

(Hope you got your FAF words. I emailed them last night)

June 3, 2009 at 6:27 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

1. Stripper name Darling Nicki of course (or is Little Nicki the Prince song??)

2. Porn name - Sticki Nicki

3. WalMart name - LeeAnn Nicki Davis

4. Jewish name - Chava Nicki or Nicki Golde, which would also be a porn name...hmm..

5. Star Wars name - Princess Leinicki

June 3, 2009 at 7:54 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

Obviously, in order to determine her stripper name, you will first need to know her middle name and the street she grew up on. Since she may not know the street part, I would suggest that Lexi Manhattan would make a nice stripper name. That would also solve your middle name problem, although Nicki Lexi is hard to say and not very aurally appealing. Perhaps her middle name should be Fluffy? Fluffy Manhattan is a pretty good stripper name.

Now for her porn name, you need to know the name of HER first pet and, again, the street she grew up on. (I, for example, have the fabulous porn name of Pepper Mimosa.) Although you may think she hasn't had a pet of her own and won't, don't forget: Goofy had Pluto, so it's not impossible. Frankly, I think, having read a few Nicki stories, that surely there's some other cat or small dog at that shelter that Nicki made into her bitch before she left. Just call the shelter and ask about that. I'm sure they'll tell you. Then, pop that name together with the name of the street the shelter is on -- or, better yet, the name of the street where they found her, and voila! perfect porn name guaranteed.

Also, don't forget to do the same for yourself; a woman should always know her own stripper and porn names, just in case...

You're welcome.

June 3, 2009 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

Actually Nicki works well phonetically for Walmart - just change it to "Nikki"

June 4, 2009 at 1:10 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

you mean I have to THINK?? I'm out.

June 4, 2009 at 7:21 AM  
Blogger Tristachio said...

I'd like to lodge a complaint! Your blog had an ad that just called my child overweight and it's pretty offending considering I don't even have a child so your blog just basically cursed my child to be fat. Either your blog tells the future, or is a witch.

June 4, 2009 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger Roshni said...

Roxanne? Simple and classic!!

June 4, 2009 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Dude. Aunt Becky. Hands down THE BEST name ever.

June 4, 2009 at 4:58 PM  
Blogger Stimey said...

Maybe Anymommy's baby should have the name you choose as the winner for Nicki's middle name.

I had a cat named Desdemona, and I kind of thought it was the best name ever.

June 5, 2009 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger Fancy Schmancy said...

Am I too late to play the name game? I hope not!

1 And 2 - have to be Nicki Starr

3 - Nikki-Lee Starr

4 - Nickala Esther (after my mother, Esther, who adds an "ala" after everyone's name)

5 - Princess Nicka Leia Star-Gazer

June 7, 2009 at 3:04 AM  
Blogger Brenda said...

Nicki Lodeon. You could fancy it up with diacritical marks (which I can't do)or Walmart it up with apostrophes (Nicki L'Odeon).

June 13, 2009 at 4:38 PM  

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