Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Can't Blog Now, Must Have a Nervous Breakdown!

My kids have summer birthdays which is a blessing because all of their friends are away on vacation so we can't have huge birthday parties.

I was especially grateful for this when my daughter announced that she wanted to have her birthday on Coney Island. You know, with a roller coaster. Please. I get vertigo on an escalator. So that's on hold.

But my son somehow Jedi mind-tricked me into having his birthday party on the last day of school when all the kids are super hyped up by the prospect of SUMMER VACATION! and FREEDOM!!! So not only are we having a party with every single child from his class at the karate place where they will each get to break a board with their foot (don't forget your health insurance cards, celebrants!) but then, in my son's infinite wisdom, and my complete lack of a backbone, all the boys from his class will be coming to my house to sleep over.

Is it too much to hope that a meteorite will hit Earth before that day?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhhh......nothing beats a house full of pre-pubesent boys....haha. Be prepared to have nothing edible, (and some not so edible items) left in your home the next day. Lock up the Ben and Jerry's so they don't eat it....oh...and hide the cat...

June 9, 2009 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger Sandi said...

And I thought I was nuts.

Marika, you have lost it girl!

I feel a "girls night out" coming on. I think Husbandrinka is better equipped to handle this party. I will send for you. What's your address?

June 9, 2009 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Erin G said...

if it makes you feel better, I think astroland out on coney closed last summer anyway.

doesn't solve the karate thing though.

June 9, 2009 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Erin G said...

but you're right, that ride WAS painful.

June 9, 2009 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

You, my friend, are bat shit crazy.

My twins want to have a sleep over this year. Their birthday is in August, so I'll just put a couple of tents in the backyard and make my husband sleep out there with them.

June 9, 2009 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger K.Line said...

Oh man, you got snowed. Seriously, get a babysitter and go out! (Wait, I'm sure you care about your valuables.) OK, get a hotel room for all of them, book one of your own next door and let them trash a place you won't have to clean up the next day.

PS: Fill any prescriptions you have lying around, whether they're for you or others.

June 9, 2009 at 4:19 PM  
Blogger Maggie May said...

Hang in there. Tip: Put the booze in your environmentally friendly water container made of steel, and no one will know the better.

June 9, 2009 at 4:43 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow..and I am usually the one who willingly puts way too much on myself for my kids' parties...and even I think you have lost your mind!!!

June 9, 2009 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

have you lost your fucking mind?

June 9, 2009 at 6:00 PM  
Blogger Keyona said...

Were you distracted? What the hell could you have been distracted with to agree to that? Were you birthing another child that we don't know about? You must have!

Really...I feel for you! :o)

June 9, 2009 at 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Coco said...

Maybe they will all pass out early. One can hope.

June 9, 2009 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

What were you thinking?!!! Boys never fade out, they just keep on going like the Energizer Bunny. Good Luck lady.....

June 9, 2009 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Becky Green said...

crazy, yes.

It'll be okay. You'll live. And your son will be grateful--if not now, later, when he's older. Just be glad they aren't old enough to want to sneak in drugs and alcohol for when you go to sleep. And they are probably still too young to want to make an outing to the girls' party down the street to watch them in their underwear. So there's that up-side. Although you may want to make sure there ISN'T actually a girls party down the street, or that the boys don't know about it, in case they want to bring their squirt guns and water balloons and drench them at 4am... unless you're in to that.

Like I said. COOL MOM. I think it'll be awesome :)

June 9, 2009 at 7:40 PM  
Blogger A New England Life said...

God help you woman, because you're going to need all the help you can get!

June 9, 2009 at 7:53 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Thanks for the comments and for asking if I'm out of my fucking mind. What part of "my son used Jedi mind-tricks on me" didn't you understand? I am a victim of his mind control and I could use a little love and sympathy, and not your cruel judgment. And maybe a cream puff, because I really like those.

Anyway, thanks for your support, and by "support" I mean mockery. Husbandrinka will be in Philadelphia that day but will return in time to yell at the kids and tell them to go to sleep.

Please say many, many prayers, light candles or sacrifice small animals so that this whole thing will go smoothly.

By the way, is it me or is Becky Greene the most beautiful commentor ever? She's like a supermodel.The rest of you have very pleasant personalities. Or nice penmanship.

June 9, 2009 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Everyday Goddess said...

He is in a small small class right? Are the grandparentdrinkas going to help? That should be fun too!

June 9, 2009 at 8:02 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i blame all that bad tv you consume. it's made you think it'd be fun to supersize the family for a night, just like the current crop of psycho-moms. and then, like octomom herself, you insert yourself into the comments page, demanding sympathy. well, you should count yourself lucky to have sensible, caring peers who righteously point out that you have just boarded the titanic, so you had better make sure you pack enough lifeboats to get through that night of terror alive.

June 9, 2009 at 8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well for avoiding the big birthday bash for summer birthdays - you have failed miserably! LOL

May I offer an invitation to sunny Palm Springs for a relaxing weekend at the spa to recover from such an ordeal? If only I could.

My summer birthday son doesn't know it yet but instead of going to the always fun Chuck E. Cheese pizza palor for a party, I and grandparents are wisking him away to the wonderful world of Disneyland instead. I only hope he doesn't mind the change in plans.

I am so looking forward to your blog posts once you recover from said boy sleep over.

Better yet, why don't you set up a webcam and let us all in the fun. :)

Scent-stionally yours,

June 9, 2009 at 9:26 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Yikes. This sounds like my worst nightmare. Good luck with that.

June 9, 2009 at 10:22 PM  
Anonymous Andrea's Sweet Life said...

HOLY.SHIT. Get thee some meds and/or some hard alcohol, stat.

Also, keep an eye on that boy that likes to give back rubs.

June 9, 2009 at 10:37 PM  
Blogger Lucy Filet said...

Two of mine have birthdays in the last week of school. Back when they were born, I thought it was wonderful. Now as I try to coordinate two seperate parties in the last week of school as we're having a hundred other parties, I've decide to move their birthdays.

June 10, 2009 at 1:26 AM  
Blogger Kari said...

Haven't you already learned from a prior sleep-over event? I'll be thinking of you...

June 10, 2009 at 1:36 AM  
Blogger Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Wait, weren't you the one who had a nightmare sleepover not too long ago?

Marinka, that proves you are human. Like many of us, you can be tough and ballsy, except with your kids. Welcome to the club ;-)

June 10, 2009 at 8:39 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

you've caved to the young Jedi mind tricks and you want sympathy from us?! You really have lost your mind! Being the mom of two boys (9, 7 AND a girl) I KNOW better! Of course it doesn't hurt that my kids have no friends...I'm KIDDING! But the friends think my husband is weird...

June 10, 2009 at 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

I'm not a mother (yet), but I have a hunch seeing how this whole roadshow goes will be integral into my decision produce a heir or adopt a dog. Or just drink a mojito, lean back, and read the aftermath post.

Good luck, M.

June 10, 2009 at 4:06 PM  
Blogger p-huong said...

Good luck with the house full of boys. At least with girls, you can lock them up in a room and they'll have the time of their lives gossiping and doing each other's hair, nails, and make-up. Bonne chance, bon courageux!

June 10, 2009 at 5:16 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Wow. I thought you were smarter than this...but I am really looking forward to the after-slumber party post.

June 10, 2009 at 11:38 PM  

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