Monday, April 13, 2009

The Good Old Days

Don't get all insanely jealous on me, but I spent Easter weekend with my in laws. Now I'm one of those people who actually loves her inlaws and my secret is this: I do not talk to my inlaws about politics or social issues. This isn't difficult for me because I also avoid those conversations with my own parents. It's safer that way.

So, anyway, the inlaws and I have a blissful relationship, but the one thing that drives me absolutely out of my fucking mind is when people reminisce about the "good ole days". Yes, they were fabulous. I really feel like I was robbed of the opportunity to die in childbirth. And this whole living past the age of 30 is really overrated.

So I mentioned to my mother in law that mama is going on vacation to San Francisco soon and mother in law told me, in a confidential manner that the gays have taken over the city. And I'm like, hello? They took it over like decades ago, duh. I mean, if you're going to warn me about the gay invasion, try to be timely and shit.

But all these are minor things and we really did have a great time.

oh, by the way, if you're visiting your inlaws and you get invited to a local child's birthday party, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, say, while watching the birthday kid stuff a huge piece of cake into his mouth, totally intact, "wow, he's going to make some man really happy one day!" Because it really does not play well.



Blogger Kirsten said...

Let me know when mama is out here... I'll take her around to all the "gay" sights.

April 13, 2009 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

Oh Marinka...last week was NOT a good week for you and we all know the reason behind it...(My condolences.)

But this post is classic you and had me laughing out loud like an idiot.

April 13, 2009 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Well it will be a man he makes happy if it is in ol' Frisco right?

April 13, 2009 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

looks like she broke the golden rule about political correctness! Maybe she feels really close to you now!

April 13, 2009 at 12:50 PM  
Blogger Frau said...

Holy Crap I didn't know we had the same in-laws! Bless your heart!

April 13, 2009 at 1:05 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

actually, the gays haven't taken over san francisco yet - since it still doesn't have a gay mayor. (gavin newsom doesn't count - he just has good hair & clothes). i mean, really, palm springs, west sacramento, rendondo beach, chula vista, and chico all gets gay mayors before san francisco? you need to call mom-in-law and put her mind at rest. and i'll inform you when the takeover/makeover is complete.

April 13, 2009 at 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Christy said...

I thought the gays having taken over a place was part of the charm and what makes it appealing? Huh. I'll consider myself warned next time I'm headed to SF! :)

April 13, 2009 at 1:28 PM  
Anonymous Kristine said...

I wish I got along with my own parents in that manner, but they insist on talking politics, and have no idea why I walk away from them so often.

April 13, 2009 at 1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also had the joy of time spent with the inlaws this weekend. Actually I got to host them.

I have totally not recovered despite self medicating in multiple ways.

April 13, 2009 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Maelstrom said...

Marinka, other secrets you may be missing out on: water is wet, fire is hot, and it hurts when your kids accidentally headbutt you in the nose.

I hope I'm not too late in revealing these, please share them with your mother-in-law.

April 13, 2009 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger jon said...

I can't stop laughing about the cake eating comment!

April 13, 2009 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Virginia said...

haha! marinka i still visit your blog time to time and, i have to say, you're hilarious

April 13, 2009 at 3:23 PM  
Blogger Nanny Goats In Panties said...

oh no, you didn't! LOL!

(totally voted for you for blogger's choice)

April 13, 2009 at 3:40 PM  
Anonymous susan said...

I really feel like I was robbed of the opportunity to die in childbirth.

hahaha! agreed.

April 13, 2009 at 3:46 PM  
Blogger Anna See said...

My in-laws just left today.

As far as inappropriate comments in front of the in-laws go: Years ago we were playing some card game with his parents and elderly grandmother. It involved knocking on the table at some point. When someone knocked too soon, I made a joke about "premature e-knock-ulation." Did not play well in Peoria.

April 13, 2009 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger ♥ Braja said...

where's my chocolates?

April 13, 2009 at 4:49 PM  
Anonymous Elly said...

I spent Easter with my in laws (or close to - my boyfriends parents) too. Perhaps not quite as amusing as your visit (but that comment about the cake eating kid TOTALLY cracked me up :P)

April 13, 2009 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh my ... you didn't say that about the birthday girl did you? I would have died laughing!


April 13, 2009 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Heather, Queen of Shake Shake said...

My secret to loving my in-laws is not to talk to them. At all. Two years ago, they started talking to us again. I'm shit out of luck.

April 13, 2009 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger Swistle said...

I'm saving that birthday cake remark to make in front of my mom. According to her, the gays are taking over THE WHOLE WORLD. (Me: "Yay!")

April 13, 2009 at 5:36 PM  
Anonymous Coco said...

I have learned not to talk politics to hardly anyone anymore. Did you really say that about the cake? Personally I think I would have tossed my cookies watching that. Gag.

April 13, 2009 at 6:28 PM  
Anonymous Maravonda said...

Marinka, you are BAD! And I am so glad to have found you!!!

April 13, 2009 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

Thanks for the warning.

Oh, and if you're mother in law says you need to lose weight, don't tell her to fuck off. Does not go over well.

April 13, 2009 at 7:29 PM  
Blogger lizspin said...

And my mother-in-law thinks vegetarians are taking over the world!!!

The poor woman. . . she is so out of date!!!!

April 13, 2009 at 8:20 PM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

I'm just jealous that you can write about your inlaws anonymously. Maybe I can send you all my humor inlaw material and you can publish it as your own.

April 13, 2009 at 9:48 PM  
Anonymous Dejoni said...

I've got to start getting out more...I had no idea about the gays. Who knew??? Where did all the hippies go? LOL

April 13, 2009 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

She's probably referring to the newest rage in the "gay invation" out here in SF... gay animals. We have two male bunnies, Butterfly and Snowflake. They're life partners.

April 13, 2009 at 11:44 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

Wise advice. Thank god you made that mistake first, could have been really embarrassing for me.

April 14, 2009 at 12:26 AM  

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