Haggling, Updated (and a Giveaway!)

Scary Mommy, OHMommy, A Southern Fairy Tale and I are doing our first ever joint giveaway and it's a doozy! Check out the EZ to Read and Understand Rulez here! Go and read so that you don't fuck it up.

In honor of the giveway, I am recycling, and updating with new annotations(!), my haggling post from last year. Because that's the green thing to do.

This is how New York Magazine suggests you go about haggling, and I'm throwing in my annotations, absolutely free of charge!

1. Don’t be ashamed. You can haggle anywhere, anytime—even at the doctor’s office.

Why not haggle when you get on a bus? If the driver insists that you pay the full fare, try to extract something from him in a "swap", like a cigarette or a loose button.

2. Stay cool.
Haggling is about bluffing; if you show weakness or nerves, the salesperson will know you’re going to fold.

Throw an ice cube down your pants before entering the store. An ice cube that you haggled out of an unsuspecting vendor.

3. Be prepared to leave empty-handed.
If you must have an item, you’ll accept a higher price. Often, walking away will get the absolute lowest offer.

Leaving empty-handed is the ultimate money saver, I've found.

4. Use charm.
Haggling is a personal interaction. If you make the sales clerk complicit in the game, he’ll be more willing to play.

I don't like how this discriminates against the charm-free.

5. Pay cash.
The seller will usually knock off the sales tax, or more. But carry small bills.

I am keeping my original annotation for this, which is that I think this is called "tax evasion". Stay tuned for New York Magazine's next feature-- "Plea Bargaining Tips".

6. Do market research.
Almost everyone price-matches these days.

Also, feel free to lie about what your market research reveals. It's not like you're given sworn testimony.

7. Read the sales tags.
Brazen hagglers will rifle through a rack in search of the one item that’s mispriced low, then demand the store honor the tag.

Regardless of whether they actually want the item or not.

8. Ask when it goes on sale.
The clerk might offer to put it aside for you. Or, if you ask to be called come sale time, it could be marked down then and there, just for you.

When you find out that it goes on sale in a week, offer to chain yourself to the rack until then. And I hope that I don't have to spell out what I mean by "rack".

Don't forget about the giveaway! Leave a comment and then visit A Southern Fairy Tale, Scary Mommy and OHMommy!