Maybe Not

Back when I started this blog, you know, a month ago, I thought that I would carry my camera around with me all the time and take pictures of interesting things that I've seen and then post it on my blog and viola, instant post and instant fun. And what is better than instant fun? And don't say instant mashed potatoes, because I was just starting to like you. I even had visions of participating in those Wordless Wednesday memes dancing around in my head, except I kept thinking of them as Wordless Wednesday Mimes, which made more sense to me anyway.

I even thought that because I live in NYC and constantly have celebrity sightings, I would ask the celebrity if I could please take a picture, they would be charmed by my politeness and would not only agree but befriend me, or at the very least would offer to babysit my kids or something. Because one polite turn deserves another.

The only glitch with the plan is that after a month of carrying the camera around, the beer can was the most interesting thing that I'd seen. The other glitch is that for some reason my camera weighs approximately 13,968 pounds and I was nearly paralyzed from carrying it.

So, last weekend, I ventured out without it. Well, in strict adherence with Murphy's Law, I suppose that it could have been worse. I mean, JFK didn't get re-assassinated right in front of me, so that's something to be thankful for. But I did see Bebe Neuwirth in a drug store. And not only did I see her, I saw her when she and I and my daughter were the only people waiting in line and there was a lot of silence and boredom and I totally could have asked her for a photo. But then, standing in line behind her, I remembered that I was celebrity-phobic, ever since I worked at a gallery that had celebrity traffic. After a particularly humiliating episode of staring at Mia Sara , I decided to play it super cool when future famous people came in. And I put to practice when Mel Brooks, and his wife, both wearing sunglasses, came into the gallery. I proceeded to ignore Mel Brooks entirely and focus on his wife, because I was certain that as Mel Brooks' wife she was used to standing in his shadows, while he basked in attention and adoration. I made small talk with her like small talk has never been made before. No aspect of the weather, no platitude went unremarked upon. And of course it was only after she ran for cover, I mean, left the gallery, that someone asked me, "so what were you and Anne Bancroft talking about?".

So there you have it. Anne Bancroft is the reason that I will never approach celebrities and that this blog will never have pictures of anything other than beer cans. I'm sorry.