House Rules and Proposed Amendments
Here they are. You will probably want to take notes. And then paste those notes over whatever it is that Dr. Spock advises.
Rule 1: Do not enter parents' bedroom before 7 am. Because your parents are exhausted and need rest and sleep and relaxerization (yes, I know someone who thinks that's a word. Hopefully, she's not reading this blog).
Amendment: Run into parents' room at 6:30 and announce, "See you in half an hour!!!"
Rule 2: Do not talk to mommy while she's in the bathroom.
Amendment: Tap on the bathroom door and say, "Are you still in there?" until door opens.
Rule 3: Do not run in the house.
Amendment: Skipping, hopping and leaping is ok. So is speed walking. And running in slow motion, like you're in the critical scene in "Chariots of Fire."
Rule 4: No potty talk at the table.
Amendment: This violates the First Amendment.
Rule 5: Don't say "stupid" unless you mean in it its literal sense.
Response: Oh, we mean it.
Rule 6: Take your plate to the dishwasher after meals.
Response: Thank you for preparing us for a lifetime in the food service industry.
Rule 7: If you're a boy, do not wear black socks with shorts until you're 70.
Response: That's stupid.
Rule 8: If you're a girl, don't wear shirts with suggestive slogans.
Response: What's suggestive?
Rule 9: Do not ask grandmother why her skin is wrinkly and loose.
Response: That's SKIN?
Rule 10: Treat other people like you would like to be treated.
Response: Let's go get you some Pokemon cards and a Wii game, mom.
Labels: Rules kids break