Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Time Has Come

I don't know about you, but I think that whoever came up with the term "mucus plug" needs to be tried as a war criminal and possibly deported. Because that name just sucks. And I think that the time has come for a new, revamped name. I mean if the luxurious sounding chlamydia is a name for a venereal disease, shouldn't something that is part of the miracle of birth have a lovelier term attached to it? Or at least a less nauseating one?

I propose laboria.

The bonus is that it sounds like labia, so when a woman says "I lost my laboria," there is always a slight and exciting possibility that someone will misunderstand and think that she is missing genitals. I see this as a win-win proposition. And possibly my qualification for the Nobel Prize in Language Development.

Yeah, I know. Not all blog posts are created equal.


Blogger derfina said...

I second the motion. Nothing like telling your child she was preceded into the world by a plummish looking snotball.

December 20, 2008 at 12:07 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am going to stop commenting here because I am too redundant. For the last time - you are hilarious!

December 20, 2008 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger 2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

OMG! That is the perfect name for it. I agree mucus plug sounds disgusting. Boogers could become mucus plugs - that seems more appropriate.

December 20, 2008 at 12:37 PM  
Blogger Jeanne Estridge said...

So my question is, would you pronounce it "lab-OR-ia," or "labor-ee-a" to rhyme with gonorrhea?

December 20, 2008 at 12:57 PM  
Blogger I'm Wendy said...


I hate to ask, but...

What IS a mucus plug?

Please don't make me Google. From the sounds of it, I might faint.

Childless in Vermont

December 20, 2008 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger Ann Imig said...

How about Birthday Bullet?

December 20, 2008 at 3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is all.

December 20, 2008 at 5:52 PM  
Blogger Abbey said...

I guess I'm with Wendy. My initial assumption was that a mucus plug was nose-related. I'm guessing I was wrong. Also, not googling...don't want someone borrowing my computer to see past searches and think there's something I'm not telling them.

December 20, 2008 at 6:13 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Birthday bullet freaking rocks! I'm for that.

December 20, 2008 at 6:18 PM  
Blogger Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I am also childless and am not familiar with the mucus plug, but I think I've pieced it together from your post. I will not google to investigate further, though, because last time I did that was the unfortunate day I learned what an episiotemy was, and I haven't been the same since.

December 20, 2008 at 7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think a lot of the names of female reproductive parts are screwy. Fallopian tubes? Uterus? Clitoris, anyone?


December 20, 2008 at 8:06 PM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Google it ladies! Don't worry, it's just a part of labor and delivery so no Feds will rush your house and seize your laptops. LOL!

Hey, how about CORK?
People love "popping corks" at parties and having a baby is just as special as you "pop" it out.

December 20, 2008 at 8:25 PM  
Blogger Temple said...

We girls tend to get the more gross sounding anatomy words...I've really never gotten over learning about the "vulva" in Junior High sex ed and then realizing they were not referring to a masterpiece of European automobile engineering...still creeps me out.

December 20, 2008 at 9:47 PM  
Blogger jmt said...

Ladies...ladies...mucus plug..."The mucous plug is a collection of cervical mucus that seals the opening of the cervix"...LOL Keeps that baby IN! Well, sort of. And I'm not sold on that name, but I'll go with majority. I was fortnate enough to never see either of mine.

December 20, 2008 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger anymommy said...

I don't know. But, plumbish looking snotball should be the official Webster's definition.

December 20, 2008 at 10:40 PM  
Blogger Sue Wilkey said...

"baby cork".

you're welcome. :)

December 20, 2008 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger Marinka said...

What is wrong with all of you? What happened to "Marinka, 'laboria' is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!"?!

December 20, 2008 at 10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But you know.. Mucus Plug... so visual...

December 20, 2008 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger That Janie Girl said...

Marinka, 'laboria' is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!

December 20, 2008 at 11:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TO FUNNY! I just have to know what made you think even think about a mucus plug??? I like the idea of a new name- a plug makes it sound like it is a plumbing device.....I like laboria!!!

PS Love your blog- I've come over here a few times from anymommyoutthere and enjoy it alot!

December 21, 2008 at 12:15 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I'll drink champagne! We can compare laboria stories.

December 21, 2008 at 6:26 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

First of all, who even brought UP the word mucus plug? What the hell were we talking about?

December 21, 2008 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger mo.stoneskin said...

Or even the Nobel peace prize?

December 21, 2008 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger Green said...

Sounds good to me!
What a lovely opening for the award I gave you. Stop by when you can

December 21, 2008 at 9:15 AM  
Blogger Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

In all fairness to your readers. Who put up with you every day. Who tirelessly leave you comments. I think you should let your readership decide on your new name. That's the just and right thing to do! Though, I just might vote for Laboria should it wind up in a poll or something.

December 21, 2008 at 10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Marinka, "laboria" is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!

Apparently, I'll say anything you want me to when you offer booze.

December 21, 2008 at 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wish losing you labroia actually meant something was going to happen, instead of it being - you might go into labor, but then again, you might not. It's like a bad fortune cookie.

December 22, 2008 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger Z said...

laughing hysterically over here.

and you reminded me of my story about a wandering labia (yes, really) - which i shared once with a blogger, and now she doesnt talk with me any more. i think i scared her. or something. so, since i like ya, i wont share it with you. but just know, it's really funny. and sick and perverted, at the same time. and yes, the labia DID wander all on its very own... ;)

December 22, 2008 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Smartass Milf said...

I love it! My friend The Whore and I made up a word for an early dinner/late lunch. We call it Dunch. Sounds kind of dirty and way better than Linner. Champagne for everyone!!!

December 22, 2008 at 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a little late to the game, but oh, I love laboria. MUCH more romantic-sounding than mucous plug & so perfectly suggestive of what is coming down the pike. I must admit that after reading my fill of Ina May Gaskin's pregnancy & birthing books I was very excited to see my plug & be completely at one with my mucousy natural-birthing-womanliness. so I spent a little time looking around for the darn thing until GOOD GRIEF the contractions made me forget all about it. laboria, laboria, yes, indeed.

December 22, 2008 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Kari said...

I like baby cork. Makes me think of popping champagne!

December 22, 2008 at 7:23 PM  

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