Friday, December 19, 2008

A Holiday Classic

Today is the final day of my blog post exchange with Wendi and Jessica. I'll miss them! Our topic for this week was The Holidays. It's too complicated to explain why. My post is on Bern This, Jessica's blog. And here is Wendi's!

HOW TO MAKE GINGERBREAD MEN

By Wendi Aarons

Step 1: Mix together flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, shortening, butter, sugar and molasses. If out of an ingredient, OK to substitute packets of Splenda stolen from Starbucks.

Step 2: While dough refrigerates for 1 hour, clean kitchen and/or watch "The Real Housewives of Orange County" to see what that cougar Tami is up to this week. Wonder what it's like to have an immobile top lip.

Step 3: Roll out dough on lightly floured surface. After 20 minutes, finally understand why hillbilly women hit people with rolling pins.

Step 4: Press rolled dough into non-stick Gingerman cookie pan bought at Williams-Sonoma for large amount of money. Quickly realize money would have been better spent on prepackaged cookies. Or schnapps. Sigh and say something nasty about that slut Rachel Ray.

Step 5: Place Gingermen in oven and set timer for 8 minutes. Remove from oven as soon as timer dings or kids ask, "Why is there a black cloud in the kitchen, mommy?"

Step 6: While Gingerpeople cool, scoop store-bought frosting into five different bowls. Pour in food coloring and mix. Frosting is now every color of the rainbow. So are fingertips and cashmere socks.

Step 7: Call boys into kitchen and set them loose on decorating Gingermen. Smile at the lovely Christmas memory in the making and hope cookies will be cute enough to bring to the Preschool Mother's Holiday social tomorrow.

Step 8: Take a look at finished Gingerbread Men.



Lose all hope.

Step 9: Clean kitchen for 3 hours, including the ceiling, then tell boys they've made the freakiest batch of Gingerbread Men you've ever seen. But also the best. Sit down in front of roaring fire and bite off heads 'til bedtime.

26 Comments:

Blogger tz said...

those gingerbread cookies look like the ones at our house...
I just read your post on anymommy's and oh my gosh it was funny!

December 19, 2008 at 5:39 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Aaaww Wendi, they did a great job. lol

December 19, 2008 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

LOL. Maybe next time we can make gingerbread Ad Execs together...

December 19, 2008 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

funny. my recipe calls for vodka.

December 19, 2008 at 8:51 AM  
Blogger hokgardner said...

Those are the cutest freaky gingermen I've ever seen. But I hope that after all your work, you got more than 11 of them.

December 19, 2008 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger WA said...

I'll miss you, too! But I'll still send you obnoxious e-mails, if that makes you feel any better. No?

December 19, 2008 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Cute! Way better than the ones *I* made - which is none :(

December 19, 2008 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger iMommy said...

Man, now I really want Gingerbread men.

December 19, 2008 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Pare said...

The eyes, they scare me.

December 19, 2008 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

I have to agree with Pare -- those eyes look a little demented. Kind of like mine as Christmas approaches.

December 19, 2008 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

Colorful trippy gingerbread men! Trippy...

Are there any 'shrooms in the recipe?

December 19, 2008 at 11:06 AM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

Good job, boys!

Although, who made the gingerbread man with the one red eye and big green boy-parts? That one is seriously disturbing...

December 19, 2008 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

Sophie--I'm pretty sure that Wendi made that one.

December 19, 2008 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Heinous said...

Best. G-men. Ever.

December 19, 2008 at 2:25 PM  
Blogger rightonmom said...

You can totally tell these were made by boys. Girls would've stuck eyelashes, hair,an accessory or two. They're cute, even if they look like they have skin boils!

December 19, 2008 at 4:37 PM  
Blogger Anna Lefler said...

I love baking things (like these gingerdudes) that represent the true meaning of evolution - as in the straggling members of the pack/herd/flock that would IMMEDIATELY be picked off by Mother Nature's lethal forces.

Do NOT release these into the wild if you ever want to see them again.

XO

A.

December 19, 2008 at 4:50 PM  
Blogger Tracey said...

The one with the eyeball in his stomach? That one rocks.

December 19, 2008 at 6:13 PM  
Blogger Femin Susan said...

Hi,
Your blog is very creative and colorful. your creations are extremely attractive. How did you cope with such ideas?.. Let your creations reach beyond our imaginations. meet me at my blog.
Wishing you in advance "A Merry X'Mas and A Happy New Year''

December 19, 2008 at 7:23 PM  
Blogger pat said...

I loved this post last year...the green balls just do those gingermen justice! Where is my cheese log by the way?

December 19, 2008 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

OMG! I just remembered why I stopped making gingerbread cookies. LOL.

December 19, 2008 at 9:20 PM  
Anonymous kia (good enough mama) said...

The eyes are definitely creepy. How'd you do them? Marshmallows with turds in the middles?

December 19, 2008 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger blognut said...

Hey! At least you can tell they're supposed to be people. My rollout cookies never really look like the cookie cutters, and they ALWAYS look like they were decorated by blind people with hooks for hands. But I say they're pretty anyway, and I go buy bakery for the dessert tray "because those homemade ones are way too pretty to give away to strangers."

December 19, 2008 at 10:40 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

That's funny. MY recipe calls for wine.

I know, I keep copying Vodka Mom. It's important to have mentors.

December 20, 2008 at 1:15 AM  
Blogger p.huong said...

Aww I wish my mom did that with me. Asian parents and gingerbread cookie making don't go together.

December 20, 2008 at 1:46 AM  
Blogger Kylie w Warszawie said...

Love those gingerbread men!

December 23, 2008 at 12:01 PM  
Blogger Kate Tabor said...

Love those googly eyeballs!! Wish our shortbread snowmen had some of those...

January 3, 2009 at 4:43 PM  

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