Sunday, October 4, 2009

Welcome to a Week of Posts About How My Life Changed

Why a week? Because I recently read a long-ass post by someone else and in the middle of it I had to take some ADD medication just to get through it. I don't want that to happen to you, because I care about you. So, I'm splitting a long-ass post into bite size pieces. And you're welcome for that image of bite size ass, by the way!

Last weekend, on a flight to North Carolina, I read a great article about slow cookers in Oprah Magazine. It made me want to rush the cockpit and demand that the pilot land immediately at a kitchenware store so that I can get one. Because that is Oprah's genius. She makes people want stuff.

For the uninitiated, a slow cooker, also known as a crock pot, is a ceramic cooking pot. You put in all the ingredients, plug it into an electrical outlet, go to work, and when you get home in the evening, dinner is ready and the house smells fantastic. I don't know if people who are unemployed can use it. Going to work seems to be an essential step.

When we landed in North Carolina, I tweeted for crock pot advice, and Meghan linked me to a fantastic looking one from Target. I instantly became elated and pregnant with possibility. I shared the wonderful news with Husbandrinka and instead of sweeping me off my feet and hurrying to Target to get a crock pot of our own, he insisted that I abort the crock pot possibility.

See, according to Husbandrinka, getting a crock pot in North Carolina and bringing it on a plane to NYC wasn't practical. Destroying my dreams and ruining my life, on the other hand, was extremely practical.

He suggested that I get it in New York instead, which shows that he knows absolutely nothing, since there are no Targets near us at all. Obviously, God put a Target near my inlaws' house in North Carolina so that I could get a crock pot, but this kind of divine intervention is totally lost on him.

But whatever, I have better things to argue with Husbandrinka about. I placed an order on line. And then I waited for the crock pot to arrive.

Coming soon: The Crock Pot Arrives. But Will It Ruin My Marriage?


Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Ooooh! I'm intrigued as to how a crock pot can be a week long series intro. And how this can be such a monumental change in your life!


October 4, 2009 at 9:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can we have hints as to where this is going? Anyone want to brainstorm here? I'd say Marinka is getting her own cooking show! Marinka Stewart?

October 4, 2009 at 10:16 PM  
Blogger K.Line said...

Eeek - secretly I have always wanted one of these. But I thought you had to live in NC. I mean, my sister has one, but then she lives in Charlotte.

October 4, 2009 at 10:18 PM  
Blogger Maureen@IslandRoar said...

A crock pot? Seriously?
Where is this going? You're not going to cook Niki, are you?
Okay, sorry, that's gross.
I'll shut up and wait till tomorrow...

October 4, 2009 at 10:37 PM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

A crockpot is like a dildo.

You get so excited for it, research all the right kinds, imagine all the fun you can have with it and then when it arrives you are all like....

(Coming soon: The Dildo Arrives. But Will It Ruin My Marriage? A weeks worth of dildo comments from OHmommy)

October 4, 2009 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

Tonight I laid out all the ingredients for a chicken stroganoff I'll be making in my crockpot tomorrow before I go work four hours. I'll be coming home and smelling my half-cooked meal hours before we'll be eating it. My supper, essentially, is a total crock tease.

October 4, 2009 at 11:03 PM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

Love my Crockpot(s) and I got them at Target as well. Husbandrinka was so cruel in making you order online and having to wait for it to be shipped.

On the other hand, anticipation is everything.

October 4, 2009 at 11:13 PM  
Blogger Maddnessofme said...

I'm going to need some information on what crock pot you got. I'm in the market for one myself.

October 4, 2009 at 11:18 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

It's a full moon tonight, right?

October 4, 2009 at 11:25 PM  
Blogger Julie B. said...

You are safe. I am unemployed and used my crock pot just this week. However, you may want to stay out of the house...or cook something that will smell disgusting because if not and you're like me you will eat all day long because the cooking food smells so good and than be full by the time it's actually ready.

October 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM  
Anonymous Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

There are no Targets near you at all?
In what kind of a wasteland do you live?
Actually, how do you live?

October 5, 2009 at 12:12 AM  
Anonymous Wendy said...

oh, you're killing me here! will the crockpot get there safely? will she use it? will she ever use it again? will her husband secretly have an affair with it? will she toss it out after she realizes she still has to brown meat first for many recipes?? it's almost too much for me.

October 5, 2009 at 12:41 AM  
Blogger Chief said...

Hopefully, your crockpot drama won't end like mine. Everything tastes the same when its cooked in a crockpot

October 5, 2009 at 1:39 AM  
Anonymous Wendi said...

Is "crockpot" code for "black tar heroin"? Let's hope so.

October 5, 2009 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Ann's Rants said...

Supposedly, you can bake a cake in that shit.

For real.

I'm still out of breath, I ran right over for the big announcement.

Very fulfilling.

October 5, 2009 at 8:49 AM  
Anonymous Grace Matthews said...

Husbandrinka will chill once you cook him up something hot and tasty.

Target is a must, that's why I moved from New York to North Carolina :)

October 5, 2009 at 9:08 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

Now see, I don't understand this...they have a Home Depot right smack dab in the middle of the city, why not a Target? I saw the Home Depot and had to take a pic, I have it if you want it...maybe ask the Target people what they have against NYC...

October 5, 2009 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger CSY said...

BTW - I got the book Friday, I was done with it by Saturday was VERY informative and FUNNY! Thank you!

October 5, 2009 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

OOH I can't wait to read more. I recently invested in one of these myself, but have only created one meal in it - which was an utter and complete disaster. I need recipes!

October 5, 2009 at 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ohhh Marinka, you didn't fall for this culinary trickery. i thought you were smarter than the rest.

We had a crockpot in the 70's...i think it's safe to say most households did. ours was burnt orange in colour. nice! went well with the black counter tops and our orange shag carpet i had to "rake" daily. insane!

it didn't matter what ingredients were used- it all came out the same. i likened the results to the gruel fed to zoo or farm animals...or perhaps even the the meals served up in Russian gulags...of course you would be a better judge of that than i.

my only family meal memories that were worse, came from entering the house after school and smelling the stench of a leg of lamb being sacrificed. i immediately pinched my nose and ran to my bedroom. just awful.

this bite size post is ruining my appetite...your family deserves better from you. gruel indeed!!

the ever loving Lady Ashfield

btw/ where did you mouthy housewives end up having drinks/dinner the other evening. i can assure you there was NO crockpot selection on that menu was there??

October 5, 2009 at 10:45 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

since i know husbandrinka doesn't read this, i might also remind you of the fire hazards of having a live-wired appliance with red-hot contents brewing in your kitten-watched apartment all day.

October 5, 2009 at 11:01 AM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

btw, the 6 to the 5 gets you to the Target in Jersey City in a little over a 1/2 hour.

October 5, 2009 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Nicole Feliciano said...

I think slow cookers are illegal in NYC--you've got to do things fast here.

October 5, 2009 at 11:19 AM  
Anonymous LadyFi said...

Oh, can't wait to see who gets in the stew here!

October 5, 2009 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger Elisa, The Unlikely Housewife said...

Crockpots are pretty cool. But it's not true that you can just throw stuff in and get a great meal, the best meals need to have ingredients added at different steps, some stuff sauteed and some stirring done. Sorry to burst the bubble. But at least that means you can use it when you don't work outside the home.

Now I have to go lie down because I just read a comment where OHmommy used the word dildo several times.

October 5, 2009 at 5:08 PM  

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