Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Marinka's Guide To Voting With The Kids

Night Before

Tell your kids that tomorrow, super early, we're all going to vote!

Chuckle at son and tussle his hair when he claims that he's "not old enough to vote!"

Reassure son that with you at his side, he will be able to vote.

Explain (patiently) to daughter that yes, although you did vote for Hillary in the primaries, now you will be voting for Obama.

No, you do not consider voting for Hillary a mistake and no, daddy was not "right all along."

No, you don't know what you'll do with your Hillary mug, but you don't think that exchanging it for an Obama mug is an option.

Of course you're not bitter. Why would she ask such a thing? Haha!  You're happy to vote for Obama. Really happy!

Refill wineglass.

With scotch.

Remind kids to get to bed early and that tomorrow, as soon as they wake up, we're going to vote!

Reassure son that yes, you meant as soon as they wake up and get dressed,  we're going to vote, because he's right, we're not voting in our pajamas, like it's a sleepover party.

No, we can't have another sleepover this week.

4:30 am

Clarify to son that when you said "when you wake up, get dressed and we'll go vote" you meant after 6 a.m.

6:30 a.m.

On the way to the polling place, become panic-stricken that someone from the media will ask kids who they are supporting and why.

Casually ask kids why they support Obama.

Hear Daughterella explain,"Because Sarah Palin kills polar bears for fun."

Hear Son say, "Because who wants a super old president?"

Feel satisfied with answers.

Stand in superlong line.

Resist telling fellow voters about breadlines.

Reminisce about standing in food lines in the Soviet Union.

Watch kids' eyes glaze over.

Be informed by son that he has to draw an "Emergency Pokemom" right now!

Supervise kids' negotiation that daughter will pull the Obama ticker and son will pull the lever that will register the vote.

Smile as they agree to switch those tasks in 4 years.

Become hysterical upon realization that in 8 years, daughter will be able to vote.

Become inconsolable upon realization that daughter may be voting for Sarah Palin in 8 years.

Ask son to stop asking, "Is that John McCain?" every time he sees a white man over 50.

Curse the line because while waiting, the kids remember that the dog is dead and ask  that he be"undeaded".

Get inside the voting booth.

Start giving kids the longest civics lessons in the history of the free world.

Fear revolution as line outside grows.

Daughter ticks the Obama flag.

Daughter and son alternate voting for various Judges.

Shed a symbolic tear at this precious moment, while keeping an eye on kids so that they don't go rogue and vote for Barr.

Son pulls huge red lever.

Go to breakfast.

Order eggs.

Beam as son, being a northeastern elitist, orders "frites."

Pretend you don't know son as he tells tortured waiter at the diner that "frites is fries" in French.

Become befuddled by son's doublespeak into allowing him to have Fries and Frosted Flakes for breakfast.

Collapse in nervous exhaustion. At 8 a.m.

Spend the rest of the day alternating wishing everyone would stop talking about how long they spent on line waiting to vote and telling everyone how long you spent on line waiting to vote.


Blogger Kari said...

It's still Tuesday for me, and I'm still caught up in hearing the election results. Yes, I know that Obama won already - woo hoo! But, now I've got my fingers crossed that California's Prop 8 will lose! I can't sleep. Wish me luck...

November 5, 2008 at 2:24 AM  
Blogger Lee Anne said...

You're cracking me up as usual! What a great day! I feel giddy this morning.

November 5, 2008 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Lucy Filet said...

I'm exhausted reading it. My daughter said she would not go to school if Obama did not win. I asked her what she would do if Obama did win. She replied, not go to school. Ha, no such luck.

November 5, 2008 at 7:27 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

What a wonderful memory to have with your children. They are so funny and one day can say "I voted in that historical election with mommy!" Funny and poignant post.

November 5, 2008 at 8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it!

We were alternating between telling the kids that if they were old enough to vote they could make their own informed decisions, and dropping not-so-subtle hints as to who they would be voting for.
Then asking, oh so casually, "so who would you vote for?" as a test.

Problem is, the T-Bot gets mixed up between the names, and Baby Sister puts more store in the opinions of her friends from preschool.

We can only think that this is why she announced loudly that "Daddy is going to vote for McCain!".

Thank goodness it is all over and we have that nonsense out of the way.

November 5, 2008 at 8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One plus to living in the country? No line to vote! Woo-hoo!

When my daughter woke in the middle of the night to go potty, I couldn't resist telling her "Barack Mabama" won!

November 5, 2008 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Kate Coveny Hood said...

That is a really special memory for all of you. My voting experience was like a non-event. I pulled of some great voting line mojo and arrived when there was NO line. Then I voted and left. The only moment of note was when I forgot to get sticker (my ticket to getting free stuff) and had to go back in. Still not that big of a deal... I will have no story for the sake of posterity.

November 5, 2008 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I wish my voting experience was as memorable as yours. I mean, it was definitely memorable in that I helped make history. But, uhhh, just wasn't filled with humor quite the way yours was. Reason #22 to have children now that we're married.

November 5, 2008 at 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We always take our son with us to vote, one day he'll understand what we're doing.

Also, I left you an award on my blog.

November 5, 2008 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger 2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I couldn't vote because I am not a citizen. However, I am so thankful I don't have to listen to Sarah Palin's voice anymore.

November 5, 2008 at 11:20 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Too funny!

Sadly, my child was in school and I was in and out in under five minutes. Color me jealous.

November 5, 2008 at 1:42 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

You know what would be super cool in eight years? If we had a choice between Sarah and Hilary.

Obama has broken the mold. I think it's totally possible!

November 5, 2008 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger jen said...

killing polar bears. i really shouldn't laugh at that. but the visual in my head makes me giggle.

out there in her expensive button down jackets, glasses and hair complete...hunting polar bears with a bow and arrow.

ok, maybe it's just me.

November 5, 2008 at 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best voting post EVER. Had to explain to my husband why I was laughing so hard when I got to the polar bears.

November 6, 2008 at 12:36 AM  
Blogger Vodka Mom said...

that really WAS the best voting post. HA! I can just picture him asking about every white man over 50. LOL.

November 6, 2008 at 7:00 AM  
Blogger Z said...

Those morning lines were killer! I can't imagine doing it with two kids in tow... (I couldn't even imagine doing it by myself. So I went back home to have another cup of coffee. And then I voted at 2pm, when the lines were shorter. And took the rest of the day off to eat Nachos. After all, election day only comes along every few years, you gotta celebrate somehow... Frites and Frosted Flakes for your son, nachos for me!)

November 6, 2008 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

I'm going to go make some babies just so I can bring them with me to vote.

After that, it's off to Nebraska.

November 6, 2008 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Anna Lefler said...

I voted by mail. Talk about an anti-climax!

Next year: skywriting.

November 6, 2008 at 7:27 PM  
Blogger shrink on the couch said...

I too have daughters that could vote for Palin in 8 years .. what a thought.

November 6, 2008 at 9:46 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

my daughter's class had an "election" remember she is in kindergarten. Final tally? 17 Obama 3 McCain. My thought when I heard this? there's only 20 kids in your class? In a public school?

November 7, 2008 at 12:51 PM  

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