Light in August?
I am pro-choice and all, but I think that pregnant women should be forced to have a scarlet "P" embroidered on their outer garments, or tattooed on their foreheads-totally up to them. In a pinch, I'd settle for one of those "Baby Inside" t-shirts, with an arrow pointing to the uterus, although it is actually targeting the knees.
Because we have all been victimized by the "When are you due?"/"I'm not pregnant" mortification that for some reason is never followed by a natural disaster. You know, a natural disaster without any fatalities or injuries that nonetheless distracts everyone and makes an awkward conversation that they were enduring a vague memory.
As a result, I will be damned if I ever ask anyone second trimesterish when she is due. My rule is that unless the woman tells me that she is pregnant, I have to see the baby crowning before I acknowledge her pregnancy.
But this plan isn't fool-proof, either. Because in early March I ran into a neighbor in the elevator--"hey, I haven't seen you in a while," I said. "What's new?"
"Well," she patted her stomach. "I'm about to have a baby."
"Oh?" I was in cartoon-like amazement. "I had no idea that you are pregnant." Apparently, I thought instead that she had a pillow attached to her midsection or that she was a moose. My attempt at complimenting her on the svelteness backfired.
This could have been avoided if she had just worn a "Baby inside" t-shirt. Over her coat. Or maybe an ankle bracelet that announced her pregnancy. Yes, I know that pregnant women's ankles swell and may even cause the whiners discomfort. But think of the peace of mind that it will offer the rest of us.
Because we have all been victimized by the "When are you due?"/"I'm not pregnant" mortification that for some reason is never followed by a natural disaster. You know, a natural disaster without any fatalities or injuries that nonetheless distracts everyone and makes an awkward conversation that they were enduring a vague memory.
As a result, I will be damned if I ever ask anyone second trimesterish when she is due. My rule is that unless the woman tells me that she is pregnant, I have to see the baby crowning before I acknowledge her pregnancy.
But this plan isn't fool-proof, either. Because in early March I ran into a neighbor in the elevator--"hey, I haven't seen you in a while," I said. "What's new?"
"Well," she patted her stomach. "I'm about to have a baby."
"Oh?" I was in cartoon-like amazement. "I had no idea that you are pregnant." Apparently, I thought instead that she had a pillow attached to her midsection or that she was a moose. My attempt at complimenting her on the svelteness backfired.
This could have been avoided if she had just worn a "Baby inside" t-shirt. Over her coat. Or maybe an ankle bracelet that announced her pregnancy. Yes, I know that pregnant women's ankles swell and may even cause the whiners discomfort. But think of the peace of mind that it will offer the rest of us.
Labels: awkwardness, pregnancy
posted by Marinka at
7:15 AM
6 Comments
