Open Plea to Dav Pilkey

Dav Pilkey, as those of you who have sons over the age of 6 undoubtedly know, is the author of the "Captain Underpants" series. Which is basically like "General Hospital" for prepubescent boys. Below is my letter to him. Hopefully, he will visit this blog and read it and take immediate action.

Dear Dav:

How fucking hard is it to write another Captain Underpants book? Or are you waiting until my son goes to college?

Really, childhood is fleeting. And he can be super whiny. Let him have it. Please?

I know that you're a newlywed (or were in 2005), but come on. Yes, love, bliss, happiness. What about the rest of us?!?

The last page of the eighth book, Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People clearly states that Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers is coming soon. And Frankenfart vs. The Bionic Barf Bunnies from Diarrhea Land is coming soon-ish. Barf! Diarrhea! You're such a tease.

But soon? Soonish? That was in 2006, what the hell have you been doing for two years? Stephen King would have had several tomes out by now. You I'm afraid I'm going to need a better timetable. One that is acceptable to my son. Because I want him in his room reading and leaving me the hell alone.

So, what's the hold up? Are you fighting with Scholastic again? Can I help? You say the word and I'm there. But please, write the freaking book already. Really, I'd do it myself, except for the whole writing and drawing part.

Thanks in advance!

Marinka