Thursday, January 31, 2008

Shopping Spree Giveaway--EZ to Read and Understand Rules!

Scary Mommy, A Southern Fairy Tale, OHMommy and I are doing our first ever joint givevaway. One lucky reader will win gift certificates to Macy’s, DSW, Sephora, Saks and Starbucks.

Because this is my first ever giveaway, I am presenting the Rulez below in an EZ-to-Read format:

Q: How do I enter this contest?
A: By leaving a comment on each of our blogs.

Q: Do I have to leave a comment on all four blogs to enter? That’s like four comments and I’ve recently made a resolution to comment less.
A: You don’t have to comment on all four, but the more blogs you comment on, the greater your chances.

Q: Why is that? I’m confused. And scared.
A: Because this contest will run Monday, February 2, 2009 to Friday, February 6, 2009 . At the end of the contest, each of us (me, Jill, Rachel and OHMommy) will number all our comments 1 through whatever the last comment on Friday is (probably around a kazillion) and randomly pick one finalist for each of our blogs. Then we will randomly pick one winner from the four numbers. That one winner will be The Winner. (The others will be losers, or as we tell our kids, NotWinners). So, if you comment on only one blog, you lose the opportunity to be a finalist in the other blogs.

Q: I think I understand. So to maximize my chances, I should comment every day, Monday through Friday on each of the four blogs, right?
A: Yes! Good job.

Q: Can I leave more than one comment a day on one or more blogs to increase my chance and crush my competition.
A: You can leave as many comments as you want, but only the first comment that you leave each day will be entered in the drawing.

Q: What if I comment all week long and then I don’t win. Do you offer special counseling services to help get me through this difficult time.
A: No.

Q: Why do some comments say “Void where prohibited.”
A: You are starting to get on my nerves.

Q: Are you going to hold this against me now?
A: No.

Q: Did I forget to ask anything else?
A: Yes. Contest ends at 8 P.M. EST on Friday, February 6th. We will announce the winner on Saturday, February 7th.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Not So FAQs!

So I decided to go all blog fancy shmancy, which to me means that I have a FAQ page.

Except I don’t have any Frequently Asked Questions, so in keeping with Truth in Labeling (not to be confused with Truth in Labia, brought to you by Not Sarah Palin), I decided to solicit questions in a recent blog post.

Here they are, along with my answers:

How much did you pay for that plate/bowl with breasts?

$25. American.

How did "clitoris" come up in conversation as work?

My friend John said, “What do you want to have for lunch today?” and I said, “I don’t know, pizza? By the way, how do you pronounce clitoris?” and he said “The accent’s on the first syllable.” And I said, “I think you’re right, but let’s double check.” And we did.

How did you meet Husbandrinka?

I met him at a party that mutual friends were hosting. We had one date and he immediately left for a six week business trip. I heartily recommend this dating pattern.

Which one of your kidrinkas is your favorite?

The answer to this question is available to Premium Blog Readers only. Sorry.

Who is your favorite Pokemon?

Turtwig. First of all, one of his powers in Razor Leaf, which I love. Second of all, he has leaves on top of his head, so he looks totally adorable. Third of all, he was my first favorite.

Why did you start blogging?

Because I am a huge attention whore. And I like keeping a sort-of-journal of things that go on in my life.

How in the world do you keep up with so many blogs? (no dishwasher to unload?? maid?? nanny??)

I do unload the dishwasher, but I have someone who helps me load it. And cleans the apartment. Because I'm bad at it. And I have blogs to read.

Do you let Husbandrinka read the blog?

I certainly let him, in the sense that I've emailed him a link and said things like, "hey, come read what I just wrote!" But he has no interest in it.

Which celebrity would you want to play you in the movie of your life? 

Ok, it's not weird that I've totally thought this through like five years ago, right? I'm going to go with Laura Linney or Laura Dern. Or anyone else named Laura, apparently.

How did you decide where in your apartment to prominently display the fugly platter?

It is actually right behind me as I sit here blogging. Staring at my back and plotting against me, probably.

Are you as funny in real life as you are on your blog?

What? This is real life!

If you could be an Olypmic athlete what would be your event.

I think I'd be the one carrying the torch, and possibly setting the whole world on fire.

more questions and answers coming soon!