Monday, June 15, 2009

Vacation Math

School's out and I've been busy designing a program of fun and education and so far, I'm hitting a lot of resistance. My daughter seems to have gotten the whole "BUT IT'S SUMMER VACATION" thing down for whenever I suggest anything that is not "have another snack!" or "you still have some functioning brain cells, please turn the TV back on!" At least I'm not the only one battling this.

Both kids got Math Review books from school and I put my Fred Flinstone Foot down and told them that there is no screen time until they do a lesson a day.

So far, it's gone like this:

Young Ladrinka: opening book I don't get it!
Marinka: opening wine Do your best!
Young Ladrinka: I've never seen this before.
Marinka: GRR! Let's see. 68 minus 12? How would you do this?
Young Ladrinka: Well, 60 minus 10 is 50 and eight plus two and twelve, so sixty eight! Can I play the Wii now?
Marinka: fake smile of horror creeping to face How's that, honey?
Young Ladrinka: Yeah, because when Mr. Ten runs away from Mrs. Sixty, their child Fifty is Born like Baby Jesus on Christmas.
Marinka: placing blood pressure cuff on arm
Young Ladrinka: Then the Eight Junior has a Playdate with 2 Twins, and hey, can I play Wii now?
Marinka: Yes, please.

Only eighty two more days until school starts! For anyone who wonders where does the time go, it goes into my having a nervous breakdown this summer.


Blogger Formerly known as Frau said...

I always made my daughter do summer math, lasted about two weeks and then I was like screw this, I never did math over the summer she will be fine!Now reading is another story I think having them read is important.

June 15, 2009 at 3:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Mr.7 that has a bag full of marijuana and Miss 6 has to turn a trick to get it? Huh? What about THOSE numbers? My math club is wide open, it seems no parents are interested in enrolling, no idea why.

June 15, 2009 at 7:07 AM  
Blogger Carolyn...Online said...

Math is stupid. At least that's what I heard when the math workbooks came out. I decided they were right and we went for ice cream. I'll let the teachers sort it out in the fall. Sorry teachers.

June 15, 2009 at 7:40 AM  
Blogger TheOnlineStylist said...

Maths was not my strong point... and never that creative either! Will definitely be leaving that side of the homework to Other Half when my girl starts school in September! 82 days is a long time.... hope you have plenty of wine!

June 15, 2009 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger OHmommy said...

I let go of my housekeeper in Feb and started saving up for summer camp. I was already fretting about it in Feb.

Today. My children will be attending day 1 of out door adventure camp. Where the very energetic college counselors will run them around so much they will go to bed early.

June 15, 2009 at 8:07 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

God, I seriously don't remember having to do math in the summer. I think that's a new thing - thank god because I'm sure I would have been like your son. I went to grad school, but I still have count on my fingers.

June 15, 2009 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Lynn C Mama to 3 said...

Really, you are teaching your son a very valuable lesson of "how to get out of things you don't want to do" which let's face it... he'll use a lot more in life than he will the math!

June 15, 2009 at 9:02 AM  
Blogger for a different kind of girl said...

We tried this last summer, just before my oldest son was getting ready to enter 6th grade. It lasted a couple weeks because there was no way I could help him wiht middle school math. I blame that on the fact my parents never made us do anything educational over summer breaks when I was a kid.

This summer, the plan is to tackle reading and spelling. We're now starting the second week of break. I'm online and the kids are god knows where. Suffice to say, no one is tackling War & Peace over the next few weeks.

June 15, 2009 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Scary Mommy said...

Time stands still in the summer. Seriously, I don't think it's ever going to end and we're only on week 3. And math? Fucking sucks. I don't know how on earth I'll ever help them learn it.

June 15, 2009 at 10:42 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'd be more than happy to donate time to your breakdown. Let me know if you run short.

Maybe you should just rent the old Schoolhouse Rocks and leave the math lessons at that...

June 15, 2009 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger blognut said...

Get them the math games for Wii!

June 15, 2009 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Pop and Ice said...

When my kids appeared to slack off in school, I signed them up for Summer School! They surely didn't like that and amended their ways.

Now my daughter is studying to take the ACT a third time this Fall and the SAT for the first time. I sure hope she manages to budge her scores up so that she qualifies for some sort of scholarship as I am unemployed!!!

June 15, 2009 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger Issa said...

And then there is my kid who did her entire math workbook from school, in one freaking day. But she is odd.

June 15, 2009 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger I'm Nate's Mom said...

Somehow, that totally made sense to me. Maybe this is why my daughter has a nervous breakdown when I try to help her with her math homework.

June 15, 2009 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Kevin McKeever said...

I'm teaching mine fractions through the art of mixology. "Daddy needs a mojito, so if you put two shots of white rum in an ice-filled glass ... "

June 15, 2009 at 3:06 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I have some horse tranquilizers I secretly stockpiled for summer vacation. Because I love you so much, I will share with you.

June 15, 2009 at 3:48 PM  
Anonymous peajaye said...

i think the clue to this math problem is "I put my Fred Flinstone Foot down." your kids watch too much tv? hmmm, i wonder where they got THAT from? i also wonder if you had an Albert Einstein or Madame Curie foot, maybe you wouldn't have had to put it down? just wondering.

June 15, 2009 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Roshni said...

cross my heart and hope to die...I DID actually spew my coffee on my keyboard when I read that!!!
Go young ladrinka!! (only coz it makes such great blog fodder)

June 15, 2009 at 6:55 PM  
Anonymous Coco said...

I am thankful and down on my knees that I no longer have to deal with that.

June 15, 2009 at 7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the countdown. I now know how many more days of torture I have to endure until the kids go back to school.

Tried giving my son some worksheets so he could work on improving his writing skills while I get some work done. I'm not even out of the room and he is done. So I give him a few more. Needless to say it has taken me all day to get done what would normally take me 3 hours.

Ahhh, the joys of summer. Come on August 24!

Wishing you a scent-sational day from across the country.

June 15, 2009 at 7:42 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Tried to get the kids to do a typing lesson today. Ick.

June 15, 2009 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Tried to get the kids to do a typing lesson today. Ick.

June 15, 2009 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

We used to call it "mommy school". IT lasted about 2 weeks before I finally gave up fighting them. But don't give in!! I sat and pulled all the usable worksheets outa my youngest's old books and came up with 23 packets of mixed crap: math, reading, spelling. And I'll be damned if she doesn't to do each and every one of them.
I'm taking a rather unhealthy joy in making her do them too.

June 15, 2009 at 8:35 PM  
Blogger MommyTime said...

His math is very creative; you have to give him that. My mother didn't make us do summer math. We just had to do an hour of yard work or some other kind of abominable chore before we could run barefoot around the neighborhood until dinner time. You might try giving him the choice: one math lesson, or scrub the bathroom. Could be win-win.

June 15, 2009 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I think I am in love with Caroline Online.

June 15, 2009 at 10:31 PM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

We're on day one of summer vacation and it nearly killed me. I thought it would be "fun" to take them to the zoo. I forgot how much I hate the zoo.

June 15, 2009 at 11:50 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

I got lost after 60-50. Sorry. Good luck

June 16, 2009 at 12:51 AM  
Blogger ShallowGal said...

I'm not sure what kind of second grade Nazi math you learned growing up that you can't follow his logic.

June 16, 2009 at 8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, kudos for making them do schoolwork. Now I feel like a complete slacker!

I love the "new math". It's amazing how different teaching styles become in the span of 30 years!

"When I was your age, Pluto was a planet!"

June 16, 2009 at 5:36 PM  
Blogger *Akilah Sakai* said...

I tend to lose chunks of hair during summer break.
I'll pray for you if you pray for me.

June 16, 2009 at 6:46 PM  

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